WHO AM I?

I have found myself to be someone I did not expect to find... And I am pleased.

My mother has completed several years of research into who my family is. Thus -- who I am. She began her quest on my instigation and the results were astounding.

I am proud of my heritage.

SO.. WHO AM I???

There are many answers to that question. Not all of them have yet been revealed even to me.

Am I a poet, author, graphic artist, amateur gourmet chef, or website designer? Yes.

Am I an eccentric personality who delves into the occult seeking truth within the pre-determined darkness? Yes.

Am I a lonely soul who is surrounded by people who are so cheerful that they make me sick at times? Yes. Because I get manically depressed at times.

Am I an emotional human being who has opinions that rival the most outrageous cult leaders of history? Oh yes.

Am I Oglala Lakota Sioux? Yes.

Do I know my heritage? The beliefs of my ancestors? NO.

Do I live on a reservation? NO. I live in a suburb near Chicago, IL.

Am I registered with the U.S. Government as an Oglala Lakota? NO.

WHY NOT?

Because my mother's great-grandparents were beaten and stripped of their human rights and their beliefs - and brainwashed into believing the Southern Baptist preachers who told them that anything "indian" was evil. And my father's grandfather beat his wife into believing his catholic ways to prove to her that anything "indian" was evil.
However, the generations have come to realize the fact that our native heritage is something to be proud of.

How am I related to the Oglala Lakota? I will not give specific names and dates and places, but here are the basics: My father's grandfather was the grandson of Crazy Horse. My mother has compiled a complete genealogy of her ancestry and my father's ancestry. So, on my father's side, we have an Oglala Lakota man who is the grandson of Crazy Horse... My father is the grandson of that man. On my mother's side, I can trace my ancestry to a Miami princess with the last name of "Flagg." One of the children of that Miami princess bore children to a full blood Oglala Lakota man who was beaten by the aforementioned Southern Baptist preachers. My mother is the great-granddaughter of that man. Thus, I am Oglala Lakota Sioux on both sides. Sure, I have many European ancestors, but I take great pride in defining myself as a Native American. I have much respect and awe for the Lakota people.

What kind of person am I?

Good question. I was raised poor. I have lived in a state of need and depression and physical abuse for most of my life. Generations of physical punishment mixed with the maniacal drug abuse my father partook in made him into something akin to Jack Nicholson on a bad, bad day. Watch the movie FEAR with Mark Walberg... The character he plays is very like my father. But that was before my father spent many years in a correctional facility, where he was relieved of his drug addictions and much of his anger. He's still an angry SOB most of the time, but with the heart of a cuddly teddy bear when he's in a good mood.

So I have endured many things in my life, with heights of happiness and glee as well as the darkest depths of suicidal thoughts and murderous desires. My life is like a soap opera... Directed by Quentin Tarantino, adapted from a story by Steven King...

The one thing that has kept me alive and has given me an outlet for my rage and insane passions has been my poetry. If you are at all interested in peeking through the peephole into my mind, take a look around this website...

Thank you for reading all about me. I have poured many secrets of my soul out here and I hope you can be my friend? I don't have many of those now that I live alone... Married, yes. But still so lonely. A wife can only be a part-time friend when you are both working and striving to pay off debts that would make Bill Gates blush with embarrassment. I have no social life as I spend most of my time writing and creating graphics and websites. I play games in my bored hours and am trying to come up with a new game of my own. I love to cook, and read a lot of SCI-FI. My four cats are always a comfort, but... they can only be comfort friends. Conversations with them tend to be a bit one-sided, except for those rare moments they choose to chat.


MY CURRENT SITUATION...

My parents are not "registered indians" and thus I have no way to claim several opportunities that should be open to me. We are trying to apply for concrete proof of lineage so that this may happen. There are many scholarships and grants for education that I have been seeking but until I have been certified and registered, I am ineligible for these opportunities. This is not a plea for help -- it is merely a statement of fact.

WHY SHOULD YOU CARE?

You do not have to. However, if you would like to discuss any of this with me, please contact me in my GROUP.