2004-2001(A2K)2000(Y2K)-1999
June 30, 2005 & July 11, 2005
Hey everyone, I’m not even going to try to justify why it's been so long since I’ve written in this journal. Guess I can just start from where the last journal ended though.
The course at the U of R that I was taking was completed at the end of March 2004. This course was probably the hardest stress test I’ve ever had to deal with in my life. I can’t count how many nights, especially near the end of the course, where I spent 20-hour days working on the projects I had, to get them done in time. All of the effort I put into this course paid off for me though, I came out of the course with a high 90’s average and a confidence in my programming ability that I never had before.
Silly me after the course was done I didn’t take the first (only) job offered to me by the school... thinking the opportunities would be flooding in left and right after taking a course like this... they didn’t, and I was left jobless for most of a year living off the money I had saved up before the course and doing the odd photographic jobs for extra money. No, I didn’t take a Gypsy Trip last summer EVEN THOUGH I wasn’t working cause I needed to save the money I had, yea it sucked cause I really wanted to go on a trip to California (Yosemite National Park). I finally got a job this past January for a local advertising firm as a web page developer where I developed the website for Wanuskewin Heritage Park - Click here to see it. A project I am very proud of.
In the time after that course ended I met love; Love went by the name of Ilsa. I met her while biking in the MS Bike Tour that I do every year, and never looked back. Love is a wonderful thing isn’t it? Nearly a year later... that love was 'lost' while she was (well still is at this point) on a backpacking holiday to Ireland. Love is a terrible thing isn’t it? ... yea I know this is between you and me Ilsa, but you were the biggest part of the happiness in my life this past year and that deserves being said...
I’ve also lost another love this past year. Most of you know my baby boy Rusty. Early in this year he suddenly started to loose weight. I reacted to slowly it would seem to the signs of something being wrong. He had a sudden stroke at nearly 13 years of age on “Good Friday”... what’s so damn good about it?...
I watched the fear in my little boys eyes as he struggled to walk with half his body not responding to the commands. I heard the painful panic in his cries as he slowly lost the life that I hoped would never end. I laid beside him as he gasped to take every last breath that his body would allow... I hope you knew that I was there beside you, with you, when the end came my baby, you weren't alone... You were my best friend ... gawd I cant finish this right now...
...I started writing this journal entry over lunch at work like two weeks ago now and finding I couldn’t write it without people wondering why my eyes were all glassy...
All of you should know that I am writing this journal entry as much for myself to look back on in the future as it is for you all to read and know what I have been up to. So writing down how I felt is probably more for me then it is for you.
Rusty was an ever-comforting friend since my shy days of being 17 and finishing high school in a city I hated being in. You were there through the rough times in Vancouver. But you were also there through all the good times to, and no less you made most of those good times possible. I miss you my boy.
I wonder if that’s why you were brought into my life by fate Ilsa, you saw me there at my most ‘Broken’ moment in this short life that I’ve had, and it was you that got me through that, thanks girl...
What else is going on? Well I’m still working for the same company here but in the time I’ve been here I’ve seen my boss and co-worker get laid off by the company owner. While I do still have a job, I feel very insecure about my future here. But none the less I’m finding this job to be a great learning experience and I’ll be taking this ride I’m on as long as I can. Another cool thing that came out of this job was that I developed the means to redo my entire homepage into the more professional looking page that you see in front of you now. I like the new look, hope you do to :).
The saying goes that bad things happen in 3’s? Well there was a fourth that more then sucked so far this year. My hard drive of all things crashed a few months back and I lost ALL of the stories that I had written over the past what 8 years that were too personal for the internet (but some of you have read them), but were priceless to me. Not to mention I lost a lota kick ass songs, pictures of friends that I threw away the ‘hard copy' of since I had them saved on the computer. Ug I can’t begin to list everything I lost on that drive... back up your important files guys... just trust me, do it, and do it now. I would take that advice myself but honestly I don’t have anything left to lose on the computer :-/ Least I got a free replacement hard drive! If any of you have a copy of my 'Life Story' please tell me!!
So yea that’s the bad stuff over the past year. There are so many good memories over the past year too. But happy stories usually don’t make the 6 o’clock news ;-). But life isn’t all bad when I can honestly say that the hardest thing I’m having to deal with right this moment is a sunburn from spending to much time in the sun at the beach this weekend. Thanks Tanya :) the burn is totally worth it for the fun I had. Hope your burn isn’t to bad today ;-) Also I have since Rusty's passing saved a new little bundle of fuzzy joy from the Humaine Society. He's a cute little bundle of black, brown and white fur that we call Shadow. You guys will love him! :) theres a few low quality pictures of him up already in the Artwork -> Pets part of my webpage.
Take care everyone!
Peace \/ Out
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