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The
Death and Rebirth, Redeath and Regurgitation of the
HHBBCC
A few weekends ago was the Fourth of July and I didn't
play croquet. We went to some friends' new house to help
them paint a wall. I brought the mobile croquet set, just in
case. No luck - there were more important things to do. I'm
not sure if this counts as a REDEATH or just the
continuation of a prior death of the HHBBCC. This simple
quandary reflects the state of the HHBBCC today, and always,
for that matter. Is it dead, or was it ever really
alive?
The Cycle
Ever since I left Arcata the croquet has come only in
sporadic, usually awkward, spurts. A game here and a game
there - discontinuous games as opposed to the seemingly
fluid flow of endless wickets I experienced in Arcata. Yeah,
my idyllic picture of Arcata croquet is pretty surreal,
because in fact the games in Arcata were always played to
the death. But Chris was always the winner, so it still
seemed like the same game, wicket after wicket. Must beat
Chris. Must beat Chris.
So you can imagine that croquet in Arcata was more of an
obsession than a backyard leisure activity. If the truth
must be told, croquet was just one of many tricks employed
by this strange group of college students to avoid
collegiate responsibility. But the fantasy was that croquet
was some supernatural medium used to unify and provide
structure for an otherwise chaotic peer group in need of
company and entertainment. Man, what a fantasy that was.
I'm going to change the tone of this in just a minute
because the nostalgic crap is getting to me (don't know
whether to cry or puke). But let me just add that those are
times that I miss and I know they will never be recreated.
So what does this have to do with a cycle? The cycle started
after the club died - after the club members graduated
and/or went away from each other and Arcata. The cycle is:
birth; life; death; after death; birth (not rebirth); life,
but always feeling a slight deja vu; redeath; conception;
reconception; rereconception (this is the obviously the
easy, fun part of creation); birth; and sudden death. The
bottom line is that no matter where you are in this cycle,
you never know where you've been or where you're going. No
matter where you are, there you are.
Puke
Okay, now I have to clean up the puke. This article has
left me empty inside and I feel the cynical parts of my
brain taking over. I am pleading for help from fellow
HHBBCCers who may read this dribble. If you're out there -
let me know. My own private club is fun and all, but I at
least want to know I'm slipping into delusion before I fall
off some invisible precipice.
GTG
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