sunday feb two.nine - fiona apple - love ridden i'll start on the new layout once i finish sulking. and since uni starts tomorrow, and i'll have to fit in this sulking business around my scheduled classes and other menial but vital activities, don't hold your breath.

wednesday feb two.five - beth orton - paris treain I've spent the last four days holed up with the bf's computer, close to seven hours a day, obsessing over an old computer game, with rather shocking, not-quite-3D animation. And in this unglorified nerdification, I'm beginning to view my whole life as a chose your own adventure untertaking. Press F3 for details. And F4 for a long soliloquy on the philosophical impact of this new outlook. Although mostly, my own life lacks the imagination and general supernatural tendencies that Discworld games tend to exhibit, and is on the whole, a lot more straightforward and boring.
For instance, whereas in my game (lo and behold I finished it just this past hour muahahaha oooh yeah), showing a lump of moss to a talking dog might trigger and string of ritualist murders in a foreign city. In real life, the boy's wanting chocolate cake and sweet pleading, serves to maybe trigger a sudden interest in Betty Crocker, with a slight tinge of resentmentful mortification at my seeming metamorphosis into a disgruntled cleaning, baking malaysian housewife; emotional spillovers much beyond the capabilites of a late nineties interface. Should I leave the chocolate cake in the oven for two long, and my first thought after salvaging the slightly crusty mess from the inferno is 'what trigger did i miss to cause this to happen?'. Undoubtedly it was the not shaking up of my kinetic powered watch, stubbornly stuck at a day and three hours behind.
Save Game As 'Shakkabootie'. Resume from 'Making Icing'.

tuesday feb two.four - silence partook in uni o-week festivities for all of maybe seven an a half minutes today, before popping off to lunch and shopping with my darling girls, each of whom generously sacrifing their own safety precautions to present me with a late xmas/early bday present of condoms. mmm hmm, much obliged. anyhow, it was not until i had lugged a great deal of wares and my own constipated self a hour and a half out of the Melbourne CBD, that I realised I had still an overdue library book in my bag that was meant to be in the bailieu lib returns chute, and I hadn't renewed my anime club membership, or indeed signed up for akido, as the memo (with three red stars for urgency)on my phone had been intending to remind me. i had also spectacularly failedto pay the gas bill. yay for me.

thursday feb two.zero - lumidee - air to breathe all the colours are too bright today. and waking from three successive nightmares where the colours where this exact colour of the sky, split in tones, it hurts my eyes.

thursday feb one.nine - lauren hill - you're just too good to be true because i don't want to be touched and reminded of someone else. and because it's so hard to make it to that place where there is no uncertain past and no definite future.

thursday feb one.two - the sleepy jackson - vampire racecourse over a cafe breakfast and bad coffee, a sudden acknowledgement of his absolute sincerity and optimistic certainty fills you with a deliciously warm, fluttering panic.

wednesday feb one.one - LMF - wugencao well i didn't know it was a collectors item. your other mugs were all too small. anyway, if it was a collectors item, then WHY DO YOU PUT IT WITH ALL THE OTHER MUGS? stupid shit. fine. why don't you just look after your own sick ass then, i know i've got better things to do than install myself in a viral zone with bloody ugly collectors mugs that are kept with the normal mugs, except then you'd probably starve yourself and the dog too. btw your bruise is turning black and i don't think i want to touch you just now.

thursday feb zero.five - kelis - tasty (album) hello. long time no update. sorry. i'm finally home now. but my mobile (read life support) is not. so this is pretty short notice, but if you want to get on the guest list to see Australian Idol After Party at Next Blue on Saturday night (ie 7th), give me a call at home, or find someone who has my home number. personally, i have no interest in AI, but bless all you insane groupies.
btw, hot damn, annie's milkshakes bring the hot skip boys into the shop. heh heh.

friday jan three.zero - missy, genuine, tweet - take away my computer has been down so i've been bored and as a direct consequence, i've felt the need to part with my hard earned sandwich making wages to find solace in make believe stories that go down better with alcohol. so on numberous occassions over the past week i've been whoring myself to hollywood like every other sheep. bah bah. which is not to say that sheep don't have good taste, most of the time.
the last samurai - somewhat 'white', but beautiful action sequences and good for people with hakama fetishes.
honey - hmmm. not brilliant. in australia, people who talk like that would be known as 'tools'.
underworld - ohh ahh. surprisingly good. selene is hot.

monday jan two.six - black eyed peas - elephunk (album) calendars out and mark this day as the day when everything crapped itself up.

sunday jan two.five - counting crows - colorblind wake up. sulk sulk sulk sulk sulk sulk sulk sulk sulk sulk sulk sulk. sleep.

friday jan two.three - tragedie - sexy pour moi "...the male zebra finch, though anatomically ready to engage in sexual activity, displays a complete indifference to the female finch until rain falls. then, naturalists plot the course of the zebra finch this way: copulation within then minutes, nest building within four hours, and egg laying within a week after rain has fallen."
thus, is it then possible to assume taht for humans too, the sudden touching of lovers' souls is in face no more than an 'environmental stimulation of gonadal recondescence'?
---gonzalez-crussi
how much for a bottle of tequila? ... too much you thieving son of a dog and camel.

monday jan one.nine - kelis - milkshake ooh lookie shoe sale, and there's annie swindling her life savings.
ooh lookie bra sale, and there's annie swindling her dwindling life savings.
ooh lookie book sale, and there's annie sindling what little there is left of her 'life savings'.
etc etc.

sunday jan one.eight - karekano ost 1 - miyazawa yukino v (nocturene) the mogu weren't on sale so i bought two new sets of pencils, which were 25% off, instead. i don't know why i keep thinking that having sharp new overpriced colours will magically improve my skills, because by god it doesn't. the first time was when i bought a thirty six set of derwents with all my savings at the age of ten. back then, a set of derwents had status among the primary shcool population. its been seven years since primary shcool and still i keep doing this, even though faber castells are better. by my last estimate, i currently have over fifteen hundred colours in seventeen different mediums, and the chains of art stores have made around four five hundred dollars from me alone. i never needed that many colours.

friday jan one.six - frank sinatra & ella fitzgerald - luck be a lady not sleeping much lately. already i'm not used to sleeping on my own anymore. not playing much pool (and i couldn't pull off that corner trick today which was embarrassing for all), not that i could afford to play much more either, since mother isn't planning to fork out one cent towards my so called joke of an education this year; so... a little light reading and too much mango sorbet while his dog follows the movements of my spoon all too optimistically.
PS. I WANT A MOGU!! MOGU MOGU MOGU MOGU!! COZ THEY'RE SUPER FUN TO SQUISH!! WANT! MOGU! YAY!

tuesday jan one.three - bleh two week. he's been gone one night and i've already smuggled his dog into my bed. my my, if only everyone's fleeting affections could be bought with food.

saturday jan one.zero - fiona apple - slow like honey after we started going out, i realised that there were a lot of things i couldn't tell him. not because i can't, per se, but it just feels awkward, even more so than when we were just friends. he tells me now, if sparingly, what i needed to hear back then, and asks what i'm thinking, and listens with more attention than anyone ever has. but sometimes he doesn't like my answers; i stop. he'll eventually wonder why i never tell him anything. insecurities and complications etc.
the friends that we both knew before, too, the dynamics have changed. that's awkard. very. when we are out together, it's not the three of us anymore, it's the couple plus one. and suddenly, the boys, with their strange male codes, treat me with a grinding hesitational distance. and that smarts. because it feels like... i don't know. they apologise too much. they don't call anymore.
if we break up, and neither of us are naive enough to think we won't someday, in all likelihood, they who were his friends before they were mine, their loyalties to him will always outweigh their link to me.

friday jan zero.nine - nakashima mika - aroma there's no money for anything. i'm hungry.

monday jan zero.five - pm dawn - if you never say goodbye it's past two in the morning and i've been drawing self portraits. without much luck. maybe my pencils aren't sharp enough, but i am almost certain that i was much better at this when i was a child. now the years of drawing manga has left my lines too sharp, and my colours too brittle. three and a half attempts later, i look like... her. and for some ridiculous reason, i can't get this her/me to smile.
...but isn't it amazing, how a fractional shift in the size or position of your features can make you resemble someone else entirely? that all your face is, is a relic of your parents, and theirs, of their parents. or you could by chance look like a complete stranger. and your face, it seems, isn't unique at all.

saturday jan zero.three - lumidee - honestly The air conditioning on the trains in summer is always either non-existent or up too high. The newer trains tend to provide only momentary relief form the scorching heat before I habituate and find myself dressed too thinly in the recycled, artificial breeze, while the tinted windows filter out precious tan making sunlight. This however, is still an improvement from the older style trains, which feel like, i imagine, a bun being heated in a microwave, not hot to the extreme, but very yeasty, very moist, like being cooked from the inside.
And then there are the people with very bad BO, who seem to enjoy the services of public transport, especially during the summer. The stale cigarettes and alcohol i am getting more tolerant of, because if everything irritated me, i wouldn’t get anywhere. But the BO. Ye gods. I find myself fighting the unbelievable impulse to counter their full frontal nasal assault with the spray on deodorant that i always carry, wielded like a mace can.

tuesday dec three.zero - dabo ft lisa - nee d (lady) back from philip island, home of the fairy penguins. not a single penguin sited, though did manage to turn a few heads with life sized naked woman sculpture on the beach. heh. it's fun sculpting ass cheeks with great love and care
i don't understand how people can stand to live a beach lifestyle long term though. the sand gets everywhere. in bed. in your underwear. in your ear. etc etc... clogs up washine machines too.
anyhooties, have a great new year. don't drink too much or too litte. =)

thursday dec two.five - rurouni kenshin cisII - sono mama have a great christmas everyone!!! smile and eat lots!!

wednesday dec two.four - the corrs - only when i sleep never except during the holiday season do i feel like my loyalties are so torn.
it's christmas eve, and he is sitting on the floor helping me wrap her present; black mounting board, butcher paper and magenta straw, and the end will look better than the sound of its parts. and though i know better than that, that christmas is a time to be spent with family, with her especially, going to church, eating strange blends of sino-anglo food...
....and i am lost, spiralling, smiling, in the cliche....
i want nothing more than to be selfish, and with complete abandon, spend all my time with him, to wherever it is that he wants to take me, even if i have to walk. don't want to share him with anyone. don't want to share myself with anyone else either.

tuesday dec two.three - black eyed peas - shut up warrnambool was cold, rainy and somewhat xenophobic. and although the beach was only ten minutes stroll from our crib, we managed not more than twenty minutes in tanning time. however, there was a lot of conversation going on, and that, more than anything, is what matters to us.
Taken Out Of Context...
"I'm not even any cup, and it's still spilling."
He does this Indian accent thing, properly, when he says my name. It's such a turn on."
"Collin Firth... he has class, he has something, like Mr Short."
"I know what you mean... you have to get into the pool, and out of the pool."
"I bet my miniskirt's shorter than yours. It's a micro mini."
"Who's humpy?"
"Yes, he's strong and horny. But who's going to be president and who's going to catch the fish?"
"I'm sure they can wait until after the trial. After all, I'm sure she has potens sui."
love you girls!!

thursday dec one.eight - tonic - flower man oki doki. am off to the sunny victorian beaches for a weekend with some hot hoochey mamas heh heh heh. back in a few days, hopefully with a nice tan.

You represent... desire.
You sure are motivated. You have a definite knackfor getting what you want. You always put your own interests before those of others, and you almost always find youself being satisfied.
Though you have determination, try some compassion. Putting others first occassionally can get you even more satisfying relationships.
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

wednesday dec one.seven - fabolous ft ashanti - into you oh... i'm too 'sappy' it seems. well. fine. that's ok. we'll just have a relationship based on sex and alcohol. no problem. since we seem to have nothing else in common.
*ring ring* booty call, darling. and bring some tequila.

sunday dec one.four - billie halliday - don't explain it is a throat infection. which is no good since i have to troop down to warnambool for the weekend, and it's absolutely paramount that i be better to play mini golf and hike and get sunburnt and gossip and make fun of people before then.
in other news, my semester results were really not what i had expected (pretty happy), i have blown a whole day's pay on yet more new books, and scary movie 3 isn't a bad as a movie as everyone says it is.

saturday dec one.three - wyolica - slow rain either i have a hangover or my cold has come back. my ego, so typically, hopes it is the latter.

thursday dec one.one - natsugawa rimi - nakisou sou Dear Amrita
For the sake of all our sanity, your own emotional very-well being, and just general entertainment value, please, just get with him already.
Love,
Annie.

tuesday dec zero.nine - fiona apple - criminal Last night there was a car alarm somewhere that wouldn’t shut the fuck up all night.
It had been hot, so you had left the windows open, which didn’t help matters at all.
The panicky siren reminded you of a cheap toy gun that you buy from little variety stores run by no-speaking English migrants in the poorer suburbs, with all the flashing orange light bulbs and no warrantees on the packet. But the shelf life of last nights car alarm seemed to be of a better quality than the toy gun. Every ten minutes, and you timed this by the red LED of your alarm clock, there would be a heart wrenching moment of suspense when the sirens would pause, as if to cease altogether. But then, as though the pause were merely a moment for it to find more breath, it would start up again, with a slightly different tune, form deeDAAdee to deedeedeeDAA, and then something else; and repeat. You fell asleep to it, eventually, though not before you wondered irritably if the people who lived directly by where the car was parked would some time soon, please, please, be taking a blunt object to it.
In the morning, the alarm was still going. A little less offensive now, in the light, blurred by all the other frenzied morning sounds of the city.

monday dec zero.eight - whitetown - i can never be your woman summer is a horrible season. with no uni and hence no structure to these terminally long days, i spend too many lazy afternoons shopping for things i don't need, or as an afterthought, want. the shopping gets to me, especially, since mostly that's were my money seems to disappear to before i get to the liqour store. and it annoys me to no end that summer clothing is sold for the same price as winter stock. even though, quite obviously a singlet doesn't use even half the material that a rugby top, say, would take up; and a sandle really shouldn't be worth the same as knee high boots. i just feel like i'm not getting my money's worth.

friday dec zero.five - b52s - the love shack uploaded the other three pages, about, links, and a new song to download in omake, and some fresh readings.

friday dec zero.five - smashmouth - i'm a believer two bottle of bad champagne and a quiet limo ride later, we are at lotus bar in sth yarra, and he is fevered, passed out with his head on my shoulder. if it were anyone else getting between me and my dancing there would have been tantrums and trouble, but because it's him, and because i'm the one who gave him the cold, it doesn't seem to matter much. so then it was my turn to stay with him through the night. afterwards, i think it's so sappy as to be nauseating.
i hate working on weekends, all weekend, but damn i know i need the money, especially after a week splurging on really, really, hot-damn sexy new shoes.
fuck if i can figure it out. it seems like i can't think of anything but him lately.
what... a H1 for my DCT assignment.. hmm. even though i handed it in three days late, which cost me 10%. And the only reason i finished it was because he wouldn't see me until i finished it. so i did as that old chinese proverb goes, and put on some really painful shoes and didn't allow myself to take them off until in three spectacularly productive hours, i analysed, collated data, and compiled a thoughtful and scholarly discussion about the apology act sequence on green paper, since i ran out of white.
i feel like i'm turning from an underwear girl to an Imelda. shoes and him. that's all i seem to think about lately.

wednesday dec zero.three - love psychodelico - love pshychedelic orchestra album melbourne was struck with a magnificent storm last night. among the worst hit areas were northern suburbs. the shops along high street have mostly swamped and are undergoing major cleanup. my own house meanwhile managed to escape with only a few bruised flowers and the recycling bin floating down the street.
i'm struck down with what may or not be a cold. somewhat fevered and mumbling 'fush fush' a lot. so he stayed with me all night, while the angry rain pounded on my window, despite all my nasal, sniffled protests of infestation, he stayed, feeding me liquids and rubbing my aching body until i shut up rather happily. he's too good to me; i don't deserve him.

monday dec zero.one - love psychodelico - love pshychedelic orchestra album just a teasing one, two, one, two. the rest of the pages aren't up yet. i can't get this colour scheme to work out properly. maybe all you can eat pizza pasta on lygon will help... off to make my jeans more... volumous then. more later.