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It's
just another day at "Enrico Fermi High" However, the school's
tyrannical principal, Miss Delilah Strict, senses trouble in the shape
of transfer student Jonny Warner. In addition to taking the "H" out
of his name as a sign of rebellion, Jonny (an orphan from the wrong side
of the tracks) has taken up with Miss Strict's star pupil, Toffee.
Jonny and Toffee's friends are abuzz with this hallway romance ("Ain't No Goin' Back"). But Miss Strict, with the help of Toffee's parents,
bullies the girl into leaving Jonny.
Despondent, Jonny hurls himself into the main
waste treatment silo of the local nuclear plant. His charred and
radioactive body is buried at sea in a lead-lined coffin. Toffee
mourns ("Jonny Don't Go").
Three weeks later, Toffee is still haunted by
the memory of her dead boyfriend ("Good as it Gets/The C Word").
Miss Strict admonishes the girl to get her mind out of the graveyard and
on to more important matters ("Rules, Regulations and Respect"),
but the child is obsessed. So imagine her surprise when Jonny reappears
at school, a genuine nuclear zombie ("Blast from the Past").
Her reaction, unfortunately, leaves a little to be desired, and she flees
in terror.
Meanwhile, word of this toxic teenager finds its
way to the offices of the notorious scandal sheet, Exposé Magazine,
and straight to the desk of seedy ace reporter Eddie Flagrante ("That's
the Beat for Me"). Smelling a hot story, Eddie heads to EFHS.
Jonny
pleads with Toffee to take him back despite his advanced state of decomposition,
and accompany him to the prom. He even confesses that it was her
love that brought him back from his watery grave to begin with ("The Voice in the Ocean"). Toffee is unsure of what to do, but the
same can't be said for Miss Strict. She steadfastly refuses Jonny's
request to return to school and finish his senior year ("It's Alive").
While the student body argues the pros and cons
of Toffee's relationship with her gangrenous beau ("Where Do We Go From
Here?"), Eddie charges in. Even the sight of a rotting teenager
pales in comparison with the shock Eddie gets when he sees Miss Strict.
Obviously, the two share a rather juicy history, but Miss Strict stonewalls
on the subject. Eddie settles for arguing Jonny's right to come back,
a classic case of civil rights. Miss Strict will not budge, though.
The cadaver can't return. End of story ("Trio (Case Closed)").
Or so Strict thinks. With Eddie working
round the clock to stir up trouble, Jonny becomes a cause celebre, even
as the school is thrown into turmoil ("Then Came Jonny").
Eddie drags Jonny onto television, where amidst the singing Ramona Merengue
and the Motorwise Guys ("Come Join Us"), Jonny gets to plead with
his true love to take him back ("How Can I Say Good-Bye").
In her bedroom, Toffee watches her undead beloved
on television. And with the help of her friends, she comes to a decision
regarding prom night ("Easy To Say").
On prom night, Miss Strict is caught unawares
by Eddie, who teases her with hints of their torrid romance back when they
were in high school. For a while, it seems to be working. Delilah
melts at these scorching memories ("Exposé"). But the
school bell shocks her back to reality, and she runs screaming into the
hallways.
The kids all enter the decorated gymnasium, a
veritable shangrila of papier maché and toilet paper ("Isn't
It?"). Toffee enters, looking for Jonny, and sure enough he's
there -- a handsome corpse in a cutaway, corsage in hand. They are
crowned King and Queen of the prom ("Forbidden Love").
But their joy is short-lived (no pun intended)
as Miss Strict enters, attempting to end the prom right then and there
("The Lid's Been Blown"). With Eddie and the kids all rebelling
against her, she cracks. Eddie chides her into telling everyone the
real reason for her actions. Distraught and defeated, Miss Strict
tells the whole student body of her own dreadful senior prom night ("Delilah's
Confession").
Grounded on the night of her prom for dating a
boy from the wrong side of the tracks (Eddie, of course), Delilah ran away
with him. Parked off the side of the old highway three, nature took
its course that night, and Delilah and Eddie conceived a child! Well,
Eddie was being shipped off to the Navy the next day and never learned
of the consequences of their sweaty, sordid (if embarrassingly brief) tryst.
Delilah's parents promptly sent her to an out-of-state orphanage to have
the baby, and things were never the same after that. Yes, Delilah
Strict knows a thing or two about the trouble that comes of boys, and she
is determined not to let Toffee make the same mistakes!
But the story doesn't end there. Oh, no.
For you see, Eddie has been doing a little digging. And his fact
finding mission has uncovered a little something of interest to everyone
at the prom. (And if you don't see this one coming, kids, I weep
for you.) Yes, it turns out that Delilah and Eddie's illegitimate
child is none other than -- Jonny!
Mother and son are reunited. All is forgiven.
Jonny has Toffee. And Delilah even gets to go to the prom at long
last, with Eddie, her one true love. All is happiness and music.
This, truly, is a Zombie Prom to remember ("Zombie Prom"). |
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