live with no regrets
teen angst
My interest in Humanities and Communications started very early in life. My first pantomime performance was at the age of 4 in kindergarten playing a mother cat, then went on to play a couple of musical instruments during my primary education. The performing bug stopped during my adolescent years because I got too self-conscious and stage-fright took over. I went to St. Joseph's Institution along Bras Basah Road for my secondary education. If you see St. Joseph's now, you will be amazed at how they preserved such an institution, and befitting our legacy I guess...you see, many of us who graduated did partake in the entertainment/media industries, hence I think it quite appropriate for the authorities to turn it into an Art Museum.
I chose to go to the Arts stream - failing certain subjects (Science, in particular) so as to orchestrate my academic future. Arts students were always the dunce of the school, with the least respect from other students. In fact, Science students would look upon us with such awe and abject disgust that we took sadistic pleasure in scaring them with our seemingly Bohemian lifestyles.
School was uneventful - I hated it and since it was the late Seventies, we were all trying to be the glamour anti-establishments. Unique to our school was the understanding that we could wear anything we wanted on our feet, so the status quo was set on our footwear. I was the Kickers, Adidas and Lotto kid. Would have loved to wear New Balance then, but couldn't afford it.
Another interesting rule was the prohibition of entering McDonald's in our school uniforms (school regulation, not McDonald's), because they felt that we would tarnish the school's image if we were to hang out there. I guess it is ironic now that I am handling the McDonald's advertising for Northern China.
Smoking was also the rage among us, although it never caught on with me. I loved the musky scent of tobacco on my buddies' shirts though - it sort of gave them membership into a unique masculine fraternity - the balls club.
Proving our manhood was always high on our agenda. As with our siblings in the animal kingdom the most convenient way to prove one's manhood (apart from pulling out the measuring tape) is to win a fight, and Josephians were always taunting students from the Anglo Chinese School. Fights often broke up among groups of students from both schools. The territory encompassing our "trading areas" - Fort Canning Hill down to Orchard Road was the warzone and we treaded carefully when happened to be there.
Allan and I never had much faith in our studies, because our interests in Humanities were never supported by the system. There were no formal Media nor Communications courses available, so my future seemed rather bleak. So low was my academic future that when I received my GCE "O" level results, I had to sit down.. because I made it to Junior College...
In fact, there were more students entering Pre-university from my class than any other classes in school. This was mainly due to one person who had been a strong influence in our lives. Rev Brother Henry O'Brien. Brother Henry, as we called him, was such a dedicated educator that he touched every single one of his students and we made good for him.
I was very religious during my adolescence, This came during my religious years at St. Joseph's, and participating in most Catholic activities. I came short of being an altarboy, though I quietly suspected my parents would have killed me should I go that far. I read about other religions, and cultures and weakly attempted to have my own principles in life. It took me 15 years to get to here, but these are principles I constantly questioned but adopted for lack of better ones:
Do not judge others
Do not hurt anyone.
There are no absolutes. Life is in the grey
Everything (as I see it) is social and bound by relationships in a greater universe.
The law of cause of effect.
The need for equilibrium - balance.
Live for the better.
I also sought to be independent - not to depend on anyone unless really necessary. I give credit to my mother. She wanted her children to be independent, and encouraged us to realize our dreams through learning - not just formally, but everyday life skills and hobbies. Mother firmly believes that inner strength comes from one's ability to prosper independently.
Going beyond this is the recognition for personal space and development, even in a relationship. An ideal relationship would be one that is free of material or emotional dependencies, but of collaboration. It is a long search, but I'm sure my collaborator is somewhere.
Superman Di sisi daku On the Shelf Reunited Woman in Love charge me your fare Stay Awhile Torn between 2 Lovers Bad case of you Physical "Marie" Share a tear with me continued
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