Click here to subscribe to Kim's Chuckle-A-Day for free!
July 7, 2000
6th Grade History Test Answers Part 2
- The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William
Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly
on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous
only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,
comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic
pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic
couplet.
- Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was
Miguel Cervantes. He wrote "Donkey Hote". The next
great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise
Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise
Regained.
- Delegates from the original 13 states formed
the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and
Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration
of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by
rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse
divided against itself cannot stand," Franklin died in
1790 and is still dead.
- Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest
Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he
was born in a log cabin which he built with his own
hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the
Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14,
1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his
seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show.
They believe that the assassinator was John Wilkes
Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's
career.
- Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions
and had a large number of children. In between he
practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his
attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the
most famous composer in the world and so was Handel.
Handel was half German, half Italian and half English.
He was very large.
- Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He
was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in
the forest even everyone was calling for him. Beethoven
expired in 1827 and later died for this.
- The nineteenth century was a time of a great many
thoughts and inventions: People stopped reproducing by
hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention
of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring
up.
- Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Madman
Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the
Marx brothers.