27th February 2002 Priesty Wipes Egg From Face I have been reminded by kind reader Mark Andrews that it was not Robbie Di Matteo who passed to Franco Zola for the winning goal in the Cup Winners Cup Final, but one Dennis Wise. How could I have forgotten ? Easy: medical doctrine states (and I'm sure the good Dr Les will back me up here) that alcohol and Class C drugs are not beneficial for the memory. That's my excuse, and I'm sticking with it...

20th February 2002 Robbie No More I'm gutted at the news that Roberto Di Matteo has been forced to retire as a result of the triple leg fracture he received while playing against St Gallen in the UEFA Cup two years ago. From the minute he arrived at Chelsea, bought by Ruud Gullit for around £5 million, it was obvious from Robbie's assured, classy style that he was a cut above the average. Although on the pitch he provided some of the most exciting moments in Chelsea's history, let's not forget that Robbie was a credit to the club in other ways as well - I never heard of him complaining, even when dropped by Vialli for long periods for no apparent reason or during his long periods of injury. He just got on with the job patiently and with a smile on his face. This endeared him even more to the fans, with whom he had a genuine rapport. Di Matteo was blessed with incredible skill and poise on the ball and his glorious, pinpoint passing, at seemingly any distance, could light up a game. Many people forget that it was Di Matteo who provided the inch-perfect 50 yard pass to Franco Zola in the Cup Winners Cup Final that sealed the game for the Blues. He was also more than capable of scoring spectacular goals, usually from long range. For me, though, one moment of excellence shines out from the dozens that Robbie provided over the years he was at the club: which Chelsea fan can ever forget his amazing goal after 43 seconds of the 1997 Cup Final against Middlesbrough ? The pure joy I and thousands of other drunks experienced that day at Wembley, after 27 years of failure, will surely never be repeated. On behalf of all of us I would like to thank Robbie from the bottom of my heart for all he has given us fans and the club, and I nominate him as a Chelsea Legend. He is a man of honour, style and class and we will miss him. I wish him well for the future, and reflect that he shows certain other ex-players up for what they really are. No names, no Poyet drill...

19th February 2002 In Your Face, Poyet Do not worry - I'm not going to start ranting about Poyet again, it's just a reference to what will be a certain passage through to the semis of the FA Cup, courtesy of a quarter final tie against Rottenham at Three Point Lane. He is a cunt, though. What a fucking... (That's enough - Ed) My old chum Dr Les has finally surfaced from some south-east Asian hellhole to send me a semen-stained letter outlining his thoughts, if you can call his music hall ravings thoughts, on the Preston match. East Stand correspondent Klaus has also penned a missive in which he expounds an interesting theory to explain why Chelsea are certain to win the Premiership next season. Can you afford to miss this ? (Answers on the back of a 100 Euro note) 8th February 2002 Official: FA Cup No Good I have received a rather provocative letter from regular correspondent Klaus, in which he expounds the view that Chelsea are wasting their time piddling about with the FA Cup when there are infinitely bigger fish to fry... 4th February 2002 Over Land And Sea.. Stone me ! Three wins in a row, and a victory over our biggest bogey team, Leicester - albeit in the final minute. This is a truly significant event in Chelsea's history, as Klaus, who saw the match first hand, points out. 1st February 2002 Just A Small Team From Bradford An excellent victory over dirty Leeds keeps Chelsea in touch with the top five teams and paves the way for a strong run-in towards the Champions League place that is the minimum expected of Don Claudio and his expensive band of brothers. The reason our team beat Leeds, ladies and gentlemen, is because each member of the team, especially the ones I rashly sacked last week, played with a commitment that was so total you just couldn't believe they were the same people who had failed to turn up at Three Point Lane. It's incredibly frustrating that the team can see-saw between magnificent and correspondingly awful and back again in the space of a few days, but that has been Chelsea ever since I can remember. The personnel at the club has changed a hundred times over, but the inconsistency remains the same. Unfortunately they won't win a championship unless they sort it out, but I don't really mind as long as we have the privilege of watching the type of football we have seen from the likes of Franco Zola, Eidur Gudjohnsen and JFH this week. OK, it may not win titles, but by god it gets the blood coursing. Klaus was at the Leeds game and was enthused enough to send in a match report once he'd sobered up. Read on..

January rants

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