31st October 2001 I've had an email from a guy called Ori from Israel that I thought I'd share with my deranged readers: "I'm an Hapoel Tel Aviv fan and it was great reading those words (Billy's match report) you wrote. You have to understand that for us playing against such a famous team as Chelsea is a big holiday. I've been to the game and it was great. We appreciate you came and I wish you good luck on tomorrow's game."
30th October 2001 Forgive me for going over old ground, but may I remind my readers that Todd is referring to the man who spent much of the game on Sunday charging around the pitch with his face contorted with rage, arguing with Chelsea players, his own team, the referee, the linesmen and in particular Monsieur Desailly, who he continuously and publicly bated after an incident between the two players, refusing to stop even when ordered to by the referee. Once the game was over the model professional tried to ambush Desailly in the tunnel, and when that failed he waited over an hour for Desailly to emerge from the dressing room to confront him as he tried to board the team bus. It's not just this one game, either - Ravioli's poor disciplinary record in this country is a matter of record. At the very least you would have to agree that Todd's interpretation of the phrase "model professional" is somewhat bizarre. At worst you could say that the sooner both the model professional and his odious manager are sacked by Derby, which will not be long if things progress the way they are, the better things will be for professional sport in this country. Fuck off, Todd and fuck off, Ravioli. 29th October 2001 Back to the Derby match. A couple of points are worth mentioning: firstly, the bovine morons who masquerade as supporters in that part of the world booed Boudewijn Zenden throughout. The reason for this, fatuous and highly dubious as it is, appears to have been because of an interview that Zenden had given prior to the match, where he admitted that he knew nothing about Derby County. The Derby fans, being the pig-ignorant bumpkins that they obviously are, took this as some kind of insult. Why ? Don't ask me - who knows what thought processes could have occurred in their neanderthal brains that led to the conclusion that they arrived at ? It obviously escaped their notice that Zenden is Dutch. It's hardly Zenden's fault that the last time Derby were in the headlines in Holland was when Derby were enjoying brief European success roughly at the time he was born, is it ? I despair. Still, the match was a cracker. Surprisingly, Derby were pretty good and showed great commitment, possibly because of the fact that Derby's rotten manager Colin Todd (who ?), desparing of firing up his team by telling them that they were good footballers (something that has failed dismally up until now), tried instead to stir up hatred of Chelsea by telling them that Zenden had been disrespectful to them, presumably for the crime of admitting that he couldn't name any of the Derby players. With psychos like Fabrizio Ravioli in the team this was unbelievably foolish, and was almost certain to lead to trouble. Nobody was therefore surprised when Ravioli and Marcel Desailly became involved in a prolonged handbagging dispute. It was pathetic really, and Ravioli proved beyond all doubt that he is a whining bitch by choosing to keep it going for the entire game by constantly abusing Desailly, whose only crime was to stick up for himself, after an incident that even a neutral would have called six of one and half a dozen of the other. Worse still, as if to prove his thuggish tendencies, Ravioli tried to ambush Desailly in the tunnel after the game, and when Desailly avoided him he waited outside the Chelsea dressing room until Desailly emerged. I can understand losing your temper on the pitch, but still being a victim of the red mist at least an hour afterwards is surely a sign that Ravioli needs psychiatric help. In other words, he's mental. Hopefully the twat will get his from the FA, but don't hold your breath - they'll probably ban Desailly for reacting to the provocation, the twats. Todd should get his knuckles rapped as well for his breathtaking irresponsibility in promoting the attitude that it was all right for his team to become involved in this sort of behaviour. There's a fine line between commitment to a failing cause and outright thuggery. Ravioli clearly crossed that line long ago, presumably in a pathetic attempt to extend his failing career. He has proved in the past what a bitch he is by dumping on Middlesbrough when they needed him most, so the Derby fans who are according him messianic status should not be surprised when he dumps on then too, which he certainly will if something better comes along, which is extremely unlikely. AND his goal was offside. Fuck off, Ravioli. It's now almost open war between Chelsea and the media, with the players refusing to give interviews and Ken Bates' superb sandbagging of Richard Keys on Sky Sports yesterday. If you ask me they have very good reason to do be wary of these so-called journalists, given the contemptible treatment they have been subjected to in the past few weeks. Chelsea fans should not worry whether the media likes us or not. It doesn't make the tiniest difference to us. Chelsea will be there long after these reptiles have crawled back to their holes. I remember a chant that used to go round Stamford Bridge during the seventies that seems apt: "No-one likes us, we don't care..." 26th October 2001 To put the record straight: specifically I am referring to some of the US's more odious foreign policies, and even more specifically I am referring to the fucking idiots who have been paying the IRA to bomb the fuck out of us for over thirty years on the flimsy excuse that one of their distant antecedents was Irish. Well why not ? you might say. The English have treated the Irish like shit for hundreds of years. Good on the Irish-Americans, sticking up for their relatives. Defenders of Liberty ! Who's Your Fucking Daddy ? Yee ha ! U S A ! Pathetic, really, isn't it ? None of us is really in any position to shout down at the rest from the high moral ground after what both our governments have been doing for the past hundred years or so. Imagine, for instance, the rumpus if I were to send explosives and guns to the few remaining native Americans that have managed to avoid being killed off, and encourage them to get in on the act as well ? Do you see my fucking point ? OK I have had my say. Fear not - once again I am retiring from politics to concentrate on something far more important. Which brings me to Dr Les, a man who is never backward in coming forward with generalisations. I'm pleased to say that Les has once again put pen to paper, and this time he means business. This time it's Specsavers chairman David O'Leary who takes the full force of the errant medico's wrath. And don't imagine that Di Canio is getting away with it, either. The silly little bastard has once again been putting his nose where it's not required vis a vis Chelsea, this time saying that if it had been him he would have been on the first plane out to Israel. I would advise Chelsea fans against being tempted to go on a pilot training course... 25th October 2001 23rd October 2001 22nd October 2001 Although scoreless, the game was exciting nonetheless, with both teams playing with passion, pride and skill. The only real sour note was caused by the dim-witted Leeds manager David O'Leary, who was sent off for having the cheek to complain when Graeme Le Saux finally lost his patience with Leeds defender Danny Mills' constant fouling by subjecting him to the sort of two-footed tackle that he had obviously learned from watching re-runs of old Leeds games. It was a bad tackle, and it probably should have earned Le Saux a red card, but O'Leary's stunning hypocrisy in vociferously moaning about the incident, having feigned blindness during two seasons' worth of dirty play from his own side just about takes the fucking biscuit. If you ask me, what really pissed him off was that Chelsea gave him a taste of his own medicine for a change. Fuck off, O'Leary. Various reports and comment from the usual suspects will follow, including the welcome return of Billy The Bridge, who was one of the hundred or so mugs who went to Israel to witness the Chelsea who can't perform against sides who are supposed to be pushovers. He has sent me a match report which I will post as soon as I have translated it from Hebrew... 18th October 2001 We continue with an excellent (although horribly late) match report on the Leicester game from Stephen Belfield. Apologies to Stephen - the lateness is my fault, but the report is well worth reading nonetheless. 2nd October 2001 Never in the field of football conflict have so many been so pissed off by so few. Fifteen years ago when Chelsea were a second-rate, second division side they easily spanked Fulham, but now, when they are by far the best team in the Premiership, apparently they cannot. Kerry Dixon would be spinning in his grave. If he were dead, that is. Not much to look forward to on the Chelsea front in the next week or so, due to the fact that the footballing authorities seem to think that it's a good idea to have important international qualifiers right in the middle of the domestic season. Bunch of arse. The next round of the UEFA Cup sees Chelsea playing in Israel, and I know what you buggers are thinking. No, it's not at Three Point Lane. Shame on you... September rants
© 1996-2002
Priesty's Chelsea FC Refuge.
The People's Champion, My Arse
Twatty lunatic Dr Les has had the nerve to criticise my stand against the rampant hypocrisy we have been subjected to by some of our Irish-American cousins recently. Les is clearly an ingrate and cretin of the highest order, but I will print his lies nevertheless, just to show that I am even-handed and can take criticism. He will have to stick a toothbrush up his arse to clean his teeth if I catch hold of him. Read on if you must...
Just One Cornetto
Colin Todd, rotten manager of a small Premiership team, has spoken out to defend Fabrizio Ravioli, the famous mental case, labelling him "a model professional".
Derby 1 Chelsea 1
Another draw, away at Derby this time, sees Chelsea slipping behind the early leaders in the Premiership. Not to worry - as if to emphasise what an unnatural situation this is, Aston Villa are one of the teams at the top at the moment. This proves that although every dog is said to have it's day, John Gregory is the biggest dog of the lot. To coin a phrase, I hate the bastard, and am looking forward immensely to seeing Villa, a two-bob team managed by a not-the-full-shilling manager, relegated by Christmas.
American Pie Goes Sour
It seems that I have upset at least one of our American cousins with some of my recent comments. I have been accused of sweeping generalisations. Looking back on what I wrote I can see that there is some substance to these allegations. I apologise.
West Ham 2 Chelsea 1
Chelsea lose their unbeaten record to a supposedly down-and-out team at Upton Park. Familiar ground to most Chelsea fans, but what will Dr Les make of it ? We will find out in due course, but I have just found a letter down the back of the settee where it has been since I dropped it there two weeks ago (apologies, Doc). I will print it on the grounds that although rather out of date it is at least amusing. The good Doctor has a word or two to say about Fulham, amongst others.
Our Man In Israel
As promised, here's Billy The Bridge's eye-witness report from the terraces of Hapoel Tel Aviv.
O'Leary Doesn't Like Own Medicine Shocker
After three days of the sickening sight of the scum gutter media trying to create divisions in the Chelsea squad that don't exist, Chelsea delight their fans with a performance brimming with team spirit at Leeds, the home of our greatest and most hated rivals. The final score was 0-0, although both sides could easily have pinched a win but for some outstanding saves from both goalkeepers.
Hello Stranger
Another enforced break has no doubt left me with no readers, but I will forge on regardless. My apologies once again - hopefully we are now back to normal. I will start by publishing the latest odious outburst from Dr Les. His letter appears to berate the Chelsea youngsters who had the misfortune to be out on the piss the day the world changed. He even finds himself agreeing with Paulo Di Canio, who if you remember took it upon himself to publicly chastise Jody and his chums. Or does he ?
One Harvey Nichols..
In the space of three days last week Chelsea have hit soaring highs and equally plunging lows, but it's somehow comforting that some things never change. The good part was easing into the next round of the UEFA Cup by beating Levski Sofia 5-0 on aggregate. The terrible, rotten, awful part was the disgrace of drawing with a joke team owned by a greasy grocer from Cairo.
