25th September 2001 21st September 2001 I've had a bruising time since I ventured my opinion on the behaviour of George W. Bush (see below). The consensus is that I know fuck all and should keep my big trap shut. Futhermore I must keep my fucking nose out from where it isn't wanted. Charming. Even Klaus has seen fit to criticise. Don't worry, I'm getting out of politics while I'm behind... 20th September 2001 That said, there is a certain hypocrisy in the breast-beating and sabre-rattling we've heard from Blair and Bush since this tragedy. Without wishing to upset anyone, the fact is that in the recent past both the US and Britain have committed - and are currently funding groups and other governments who are committing - atrocities against innocent civilians. The CIA even trained Osama Bin Laden in terrorist techniques when he and his Taliban mates were fighting the Russians in Afghanistan, so the Americans should not be too surprised at what's happened. With that in mind we should think very carefully before allowing our sense of righteous indignation to precipitate more killing of innocents. While we're at it, I would like to suggest that perhaps people in the US might also like to think very carefully about whether they should be giving money to fund organisations like the IRA, who have been steadily killing innocent civilians in terrorist attacks for over thirty years. Once again, I'm not trying to upset anyone, just to point out some facts that nobody else seems to be mentioning. One man's freedom fighter is another man's terrorist. None of us is innocent, and we can all learn lessons from this. On a lighter note, Dr Les has found out that Gus Poyet was paraded in front of the crowd at the Arsenal game, and he's incandescent with rage about it. He also finds himself in conflict with Arse Wenger once more, and has a dig at UEFA for cancelling the football. Read on if you have the stomach for it. 18th September 2001 17th September 2001 It's all over bar the shouting, so now is the time to do as I suggested at the beginning of the season: withdraw your life savings, smash up your kids' piggy banks, lift your grannie's purse, pinch the tasteful spastic kid charity box from outside Boots, etc., and get down to Ladbroke's with the proceeds. You won't get 11-1 on Chelsea winning the Premiership as you would have when I first advised this two months ago, but you will still get a better return on your money than you would from Mr. Lloyd, Mr. Barclay or Mr. Hong Kong and Shanghai. The game ? You will know by now that the score was 3-2, with two goals from Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink and a last-gasp winner from Marcel "The Rock" Desailly. The details will be so much chip paper by tomorrow, but suffice to say that Glenn Hoddle's statement after the match that he didn't believe JFH's denial that he dived for the penalty is an egregious outrage to taste and decency. Repeated viewings of the incident prove beyond all doubt that JFH is blameless, if only in his own mind, and that Glenn is, therefore, a twat. Amen. I expect that I will be receiving the usual tasteless tat masquerading as informed comment and unbiased match reports from my various "correspondents" just as soon as the Alka Seltzer (or Largactyl in Dr Les' case) have taken effect. Watch this space... 11th September 2001 Then we have Klaus, who has submitted an equally ludicrous rant masquerading as a match report. It seems that this site is a refuge for every Tom, Dick and Psycho. I just can't understand why... 10th September 2001 See Steve Belfield's lively match report. 7th September 2001 6th September 2001 Albania coach Norman Wisdom did his best to rally his troops by pulling his flat cap down over his ears and walking like a chimpanzee while yelling "Mr Grimsdaaaaale !" in a high-pitched, strangled voice, then tripping over his bootlaces. This was unfortunately to no avail, and Wisdom was forced to cling on to Sven Goran Erikbloke's lapels, laughing hysterically, as his side were treated to a good duffing. It was a shame that only twenty Albania fans were able to meet the criteria for being awarded a visa to enter the country by proving that they were football fans, but that will teach them for going around looking for asylum everywhere when they've already got a perfectly good country of their own. Why would ANYONE in their right mind want to leave a country whose TV schedule this week includes such televisual gems as "Diff'rent Strokes" and "Go With Noakes", while films on general release at the cinema include "Trouble In Store" starring Norman Wisdom as a bungling store detective and Margaret Rutherford as a master shoplifter ? Crazy, I know. I am as flummoxed as you are... Now we can get back to some proper, Chelsea football. I am looking forward with relish to the 3-0 trouncing of north London rivals Arse on Saturday. Chelsea fans are expecting one hundred percent commitment from all the Chelsea players, regardless of how tired (and depressed in the Dutch lads' case) they are after their internationals this week, so let's be having you, boys. Make no mistake - this is the real deal and is what you are on this planet for. We are expecting you to shove it right up the Arse, and in some style. Never forget that you are playing for the best football club in the history of mankind. PS. A personal message for Rupert Ward, keyboard warrior, window-licker and so-called webmaster of the awful 'Arseweb' fan site: if you ever pluck up the courage to call me a cunt to my face rather than via email, just let me know the time and place. And bring your fucking dad, you muppet. 4th September 2001 Dr Les has also returned from whence he came, namely the gin joints and 'sucky-fucky five dollar' massage parlours of south-east Asia. He was last seen at Heathrow, waving a bottle of Jose Cuervo 1800 around his head and "accidentally" dropping handfuls of loose change on the floor whenever a Virgin Atlantic stewardess walked past. I understand he had to be threatened with handcuffs by the Captain on the flight when he was caught fiddling with the door controls, muttering that he wanted to get out for a "spot of fresh air". Having somehow survived the trip he is now back to his usual rude health. Amongst the beneficiaries of Les's bile this time are Jon Harley, Poyet (again), David Burrows and, of course myself (again). Prepare to be sickened. August rants
© 1996-2002
Priesty's Chelsea FC Refuge.
Boro Rumbles
The complaints are coming in thick and fast.. Check out Klaus's match report on the Boro farrago - I'll be posting some more bile from Steve Belfield and Dr Les tomorrrow...
Chelsea 3 Levski Sofia 0
A good night for Chelsea in the UEFA Cup as they take a three goal lead in the first leg of the tie against Bulgarian side Levski Sofia. Check out Stephen Belfield's match report. A great pity that Aston Villa, with their excellent manager John Gregory, were beaten, and that Leeds, with their excellent manager David O'Leary, were beaten. Fnnnnnnnhhhh.....
Condolences
I haven't mentioned the terrible events that occurred in New York recently on this page, as there has been enough of it all over the media, and after all this is a site about football. On the other hand I know that a lot of people from the US frequent the site, so I would like to offer my condolences to the Americans for the appalling tragedy they have suffered. I can honestly say that in the past few days I've never been more shocked and moved by anything I've seen in my life.
The Voice of the East Stand Speaks
Klaus has just returned from Three Point Lane via every pub between Tottenham Hale and Fulham Road with a match report of the finest vintage..
Tottenham In Vatican Visit Shocker
It seems that Glenn Hoddle's masterplan to win the title for Spurs by increasing the average age of his side to 43 is faltering, as yet another win at Three Point Lane puts Chelsea firmly in the driving seat in the Premiership.
Arse Fallout
The usual ragtag assortment of oddballs have put poison pen to paper in response to the events of the weekend. First we have Dr Les, who, like me, has it in for neanderthal throwback Keown amongst others.
Chelsea 1 Arse 1
A disappointing draw at Stamford Bridge against a team we never seem to have much luck with, although the impertinent sending off of JFH for supposedly elbowing neanderthal throwback Martin Keown did not help. If JFH had to go then Keown should have gone as well for fouling him in the first place and then adding to it by going down like a sack of spuds when TV replays show that there was no contact. Fuck off, Keown. And Lee Dixon can fuck off as well.
Germany Calling
Voice of the East Stand Klaus has been understandably licking his wounds since the Germany 1 England 5 match, but he has broken his silence to pay tribute to the England team and to have a pop at the Dutch, apparently a popular pursuit amongst the Germans. Klaus has shown his mastery of tactical matters by putting his finger on why it was that Germany lost so heavily, and needless to say it involves Nady Cole. Well spotted, Klaus. Read on..
England 2 Albania 0
England march on in their quest to qualify for the World Cup by beating Albania at geordie hovel Newcastle (I am allowed to call it a hovel as I had the bad luck to be born there). Once again England won purely because Nady Cole wasn't playing.
Best Match Ever ?
At last England beat the hell out of the infernal Boche in their back yard, and none of the muppets in the press seem to know why. It's bloody obvious - Nady Cole was nowhere to be seen, that's why. I am expecting an apology from Erikbloke as I write, for not listening earlier to my advice to consign Cole to the dustbin where he so obviously belongs. Fuck off, Cole.
