Psyko: "I'm sorry, ma'am, I can't allow you to check your son." |
Jazzsoda: "Howdy, I'm Leavis, the fire dwarf, let's be friends! Wha? Huh? Oh, I guess you're just like all the rest! Screaming & flailing to get away from the new guy!" |
Cerg "Damn Time-Life home repair books. Roof it yourself my ass!" |
Hippie: The Members Only investigative team met Bill at the coffee shop and, after a few intensive interviews, he admitted he was NOT a member. |
GuloGulo: Engrossed by the latest People magazine, Ron doesn't even notice that he's being hog-tied and that ruffians are abusing his wife and stealing his possessions. |
keogh: Jim almost made it to his lunch break. Then Mrs. McGillicuddy rolled her chest of drawers up to the counter. Damn her! |
HunterZ: And rember kids see your dentist twice a year...Billy here didn't and look at him now. |
Cerg: "I never should have eaten that wonka gum. Look at me, I'm turning into a blueberry..." |
Hippie: (The shadow falls on her) No you don't, Granny Appleseed! You've been caught by THE HUMAN BUTTERFLY! |
Artanas: "Hello God! It's me again and......thanks for making me gay!" |
keogh: The Packers know -- it's Prince Spaghetti night! |
Hippie: Dr. Benson took such good care of his files, they would always jump up to greet him when he came through the door. |
TravisBickle: Oh yeah, Turner, that's the way. Shake your money maker, c'mon... |
E_B_A: "Lego 1: this is Houston. You are cleared for launch." "I can't push the button?" "Is it a malfunction?" "No. My arms don't bend at the elbow." |
Seltaeb: Let's pretend we're hugging Brando! |
keogh: It was a harsh and lonely childhood, having his Aggies taken hostage and never being told how the fairy tales ended. |
Goob: In Texas, auditions for "The Sunshine Boys" were often nasty, bitter rivalries. |
Occupant: You're gonna punch me in the head and kick me in the balls? Why, them's fightin' words! |
Artanas: Awwww, widdle insuwance baby gonna cwy! It's okay widdle insuwance baby, you special... |
Seltaeb: Look at that chair she's sitting on. Amazing what you can do with Triscuits these days. |
Hippie: Man, the place is packed tonight! Good thing you wore the CLOAK OF SATAURION 7! *Phil, I'm not going to mis-use the power! *Just get us a good table! C'mon! |
keogh: "You wouldn't sell your grandpa out to the Nazis, would ya, Billy?" "Uh, no." "Good boy. They're those guys in the white suits. I gotta submerge." |
Hippie: But before we start trolling, let's have a moment of silence, stand, and say our pledge to Riff's hat. |
BestBrainsInc: "I smell fish and saltwater..here.." 'Alright Don, ENOUGH song parodies! Can't you see we're trying to sell some damn vibrator fish lures????' |
keogh: "Stop it! Stop struggling and listen to me! I'm you from 6 months into the future, and I've come here to tell you not to take this role!" |
Hippie: Frankenstein's classes in "constructive criticism and reassurance" really paid off. "There, there. You do good. Is work in progress. Have nice qualities!" |
E_B_A: Q. What's up DJ Miko? A. Broomstick. |
Artanas: "Thank you for pointing the way Somewhat Like A Compass Man!" "Think nothing of it Him Who Looks Like Mark Twain" |
HanoverF: Why does he have Poirot's moustache on his collar? |
Hippie: I changed the toner in the copier, ma'am! *Thank you, Simon. You can have the day off. Don't bother coming in tomorrow either. *Damn! Again! |
Tumbler: Quasimoto was torn ... because he hated the Dukes ... but he trusted General Lee. |
Seltaeb: It's always fun when Bill Nye The Science Guy gets drunk and does that shadow puppet of a Stephen J. Cannell Production. |
keogh: "When I said you needed a hobby, Lorie, I meant stamp collecting or gardening. I want to be supportive, but collecting dead chimney sweeps is a lot to ask." |
Hippie: Sherrie argued it was Johnny's constant Telethon that was ruining their marriages; Johnny, via satellite, vehemently disagreed. |
Hippie: Now I'm going to leave my sweet tweety bird right here--don't you try to eat him, you mean ol' Hitler! *Jawohl! |
Hippie: Jackets later successfully went on to be covers for third grade Health books. |
Shockupant: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! |
Hippie: A tutu... and a yellow construction helmet. This could only mean one thing! (Brought to you by Luke Duke Rash Conclusion Playhouse). |
Jazzsoda: George has devised a plan to fit more pictures on his desk. His wife thinks he's mad. |
keogh: Special Agent Sally Rough and Mona Lisa -- they're cops. "Okay, get in the cart. When they order breakfast you jump out and give 'em room service with a smile." |
Angel_Noir: "My kung fu has a stronger portfolio than yours." "Insolent dog, my kung fu shall leverage buyout your kung fu's commodities!" |
GuloGulo: The problem with finger sandwiches at parties is that some people don't know when to stop. |
AgentQ: "Hi! You're under arrest. Mind if I watch the game?" That's next week on Harry Nicks, Leisure Cop! |