Wouldn't it be great if Sable was sunbathing and her boobs melted and she died from silicon suffocation?
Why didn't Kane just rip the door off the cell? He did it at BADD BLOOD.
Why is Mongo back? Are they that desperate for ratings?
I hate it when the nWo runs away from people. The Wolfpac has 4 people, the nWo has 6 or 7 people and they still ran away.
Dx kicks ass. And the Road dog is the funniest one, but he's the worst wrestler.
Sign of the night: I want to eat in Chyna
Why is Tony the Fatass so stupid? DDP says some crap about "delivering" the Bang, then they show a video for Karl Malone, then Tony says they have an announcement, but it MIGHT be about Karl Malone, yet all the newspapers already reported that he will be wrestling. Tony should die a horrible, horrible death.
Did anyone see Thunder? They showed Bichoff kicking Macho Man's knee then they showed it in slow motion and it was the same speed as the regular kick. Bichoff sucks.
I wish that Bichoff, Shevontee, Goldturd, DDP, Hogan, Bret Hart, and Larry Zabisco were all driving home in a car and the driver pulled a JYD.
Reese lost to Juvi-juice and Goldturd, all in one week. He should just end it all, his career is over so he should jump off a bridge. His tombstone will say "REESE, THE WORLD'S LARGEST JOBBER".
I watched Thunder with the sound off, it is sooooo much better. The matches sucked but at least I didn't have to hear Shevontee and Ixnay Teney ramble on about the nWo during the Benoit/Guerrero match.
Do you know what's funny? WCW got all these basketball and football players and it's costing them a fortune but RAW is still winning the ratings. I only have one thing to say about that, HAHAHAHA YOU SUCK BICHOFF.
Speaking of bishoff, I'm watching "Desperado" as I am typing this and during a gunfight they are playing the song Bichoff uses as his theme song. Bichoff is a desperado? HAHAHA what's the matter "I'm a little twerp who dyes my hair black" was already taken?
The Edge's first match and he already killed somebody. AY AY AY NO ME GUSTA.
Did anyone see that Japanese guy fighting Stevie Ray on Thunder? This guy weighed about 100 pounds but they made him out to be a sumo wrestler. At least if they're going to copy Yokozuna get a fatass guy to be a Sumo. Hell they can use Tony Shevontee, but make him wear a mask to cover up his ugly face. His name can be "the Shrilling Sumo".
I like watching Stevie Ray butcher the English language. Dat Sucka don't speak no English, he be speakin' Ebonics fool.
Why does Goldturd have a job? I would like to kill the guy who injured him playing football. And why does the announcers start to jerk off when he comes out? And they all climax when he wins, which means they can only last for 30 seconds.
I was reading that someone told Bret Hart that his dad Stu died, but it was only a joke. Now I used to crank call people and mess with them and try to get people fired, but what this sick person did to Bret was just so evil and so disgusting that it makes me....WISH I DID THAT TO SOMEONE!!! That must be the excuse for that piece of shit match at the Great American Bash. Bret was thinking "Ohhhhhh the match sucked elephant balls because I was thinking of my 800 year old dad BOO HOO." I mean Stu is so old he bleeds dust. And he's so damn old he has a Jesus Christ starter jacket. This is just another excuse for Bret to cry like a little girl.
Damn Mankind is a sick bastard.
If Goldturd is so damn tough then why does he need all those cops around when he comes to the ring? The answer is he's a pussy.
I watched the episode of Pacific Blue with HHH in it and it was about kiddie porn. And HHH was the bodyguard for the dude who made the porn, so I guess that makes him a pedophile protector. But the show was also about the cop chicks getting naked for the magazine "PLAYPEN", so that was good.
I'll be damned they choppy choppy Val's pee pee. How does the WWF get away with that?
JOHN WAYNE BOBBIT WILL BE ON RAW!!! OH MY GOD THE WWF IS FUCKED UP. WCW gets Leno and WWF gets John fucking Bobbit, damn WCW is lame.
Notice how WCW's celebrities pretend to be badasses? But they're just a bunch of pussies. Yet the WWF gets real badasses. Let's take a look at the celebrities they had:
Rodman:WOW!!! He dyes his hair and has tattoos. GOLLY, HE'S A BADASS!! What he fucked Madonna? Big shit half of Hollywood banged her.
Malone:Real mailmen are scarier then him. They're crazy.
Leno:HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasp* HAHAHAHAHAHA *wipes tears from eyes* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Travis Tritt:see Leno.
Mike Tyson:He was convicted for rape and he bit a guys ear the fuck off, he's a badass.
Gennifer Flowers:She banged the President.
Pete Rose:Will never be in the Baseball hall of fame for gambling.
Jenna Jameson:Porn star.
John Bobbit:Got his wife pissed and she cut his pee pee off, became a porn star. Stared in the movie FRANKENPENIS
I keep on forgetting about Sunday Night Heat. I missed the beginning of the first episode, because I was watching HEATWAVE 98' and I just missed the start of the second, because I was playing Grand Theft Auto for the PSX.
What the hell does PSX stand for? I know the P is Play and the S is Station but what the hell does the X stand for?
That Road Wild sucked fucking ass, the only good part was during that lame ass street fight when Public "we used to be the best team in ECW, now we have to fight with stupid fake cookie sheets while Shevontee tries to hype a Main Event for a PPV you already bought" Enemy put Disco through three tables.
During the "EXTREME"(major fucking sarcasm) triangle match Kanyon and Saturn gave Raven "TOTAL ELIMINATION" which used to be the finishing move for the Eliminators, and Skeevontee had an orgasm saying how that was the first time in the history of "our" sport that move was done. What a fucking douchebag.
I hate Goldturd. I want him to die so bad. And big surprise he won the battle royal, isn't he sooooooooooo great?
Notice Goldturd is just like the Giant in his rookie year? Giant was the champ in his first year so is Wee Willy Goldturd, now the Giant is jobbing to the Goldy. I can't wait for next year when Jewberg is jobbing to every one move wonder and their mother. OHHHHHHHHH I hate Goldberg. Please God take his life.
Now I don't know any bikers but I don't think they listen to country music. I didn't watch the concert but I wish the bikers all rioted and went on a drunken rampage and they killed Tony Shevontee.
The Oddities kick ass!! I hope Vince makes them all dance every week, there is nothing like watching a bunch of freaks dancing. Now all they need is some midgets and people without arms and legs dancing around and they will become the greatest stable in the history of our sport.
I know you all want to hear my thoughts on the Warrior so here they are: HE SUCKS!!!!! He sounds like Dr. Suess, making up words, and his new music sucks. He is a fucking psychopath, he changed his real name to the Warrior, he needs professional help. And what's with this bat signal crap? He really thinks he's a superhero. He's like Goldturd with hair, he know's three moves (gorilla press, splash and clothesline) which is two more moves than Luger and four more moves than Goldturd. I wish he would make like Dr. Suess and die.
Why is Fat Tony soooooooooo stupid? High Voltage was fighting and he called them one of the greatest tag teams in the history of our sport. High Voltage are jobbers for Christ's sakes. They suck.
On Thunder Skivontee said that Saturn was a loser when he was in the Flock but now that he's out he is a winner. Wasn't Saturn the US Champ when he was in the Flock? Yes, so Shevontee is a fucking idiot.
Why is Mongo a Horseman? Isn't the Horsemen an elite group of the BEST wrestlers? Well Luger was a Horseman.
OH MY GOD!!!!! NORMAN FUCKING SMILEY WON A MATCH !!!!!! DID YOU SEE THAT BOBBY WALKER !?!?!?! STICK IT TO THE MAN !!!!!!!
It is indeed a sad day in the sport of professional wrestling, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan is retiring. After reading about this I cried myself to sleep and I know you are all choked up about it too. This is for you tough guy:HOOOOOOOOOO...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU SUCK JIMBO HAHAHAHA I GUESS YOUR FEUD WITH MENG IS OVER!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU SUCK HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
On Nitro(9-7-98) after Goldturd beat his toughest challenge ever, Scott Putzski, he grabbed the top rope and jumped up, then he FELL ON HIS STUPID ASS HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA *gasp* HAHAHAHA HAHAHA!!!!!! WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT, HE CAN'T EVEN JUMP WITHOUT KILLING HIMSELF OR SOMEONE ELSE. He hurt La Parka (my favorite Luchadore) and a bunch of other people jumping up after his grueling 30 second ironman matches, he's like a white Ahmed Johnson. Wait a second, Ahmed and Goldy are bald, they both know the same amount of moves(3),they both can't speak a word of English and they both suck. So that means Goldy is Ahmed!!!!!! Notice they are never in the same room at the same time.
I just read that the extreme icon, the Sandman, has signed with WCW. What the fuck is he doing? Doesn't he know what WCW did to Raven? They turned him to a whining pussy. The Sandman can't use his gimmick in WCW, he has no real wrestling talent, what are they going to do with him? I guess money talks, and the Sandman walked. Jackass.
I'm sick of reading these internet idiots saying how they were crying when Flair returned. What a bunch of pussies. I didn't even cry when my dad died. The last time I cried is when I was watching Transformers: the Movie when Optimus Prime died, now that was sad.
The first time I heard the Horsemen's new music I thought the ceiling was going to fall on Bichoff's head. But it was just the stupid horses running. Oh but I can dream can't I?
OK I'm watching Emeril Live and during a commercial I flipped over to Thunder and Disco just beat Chavo, and Juvi comes out with a piece of paper. And on the paper it says that Disco is 220lbs so Nick Patrick has a scale and we find out he's really is 230lbs. So Chavo wins the match because Disco is to fat. What the fuck is this? Didn't Goldberg beat Chavo? Yes, so that means that Chavo should of won. So Goldberg is 900 and 2.
I love how the WCW announcers try to make it out that Norman Smiley is so great. My left ass cheek has more wrestling talent and charisma than that piece of crap.
I wish the plane that was flying everyone in WCW somewhere crashed and Jericho was the only survivor.
During the Horseman interview they were all saying how they were going to bang Elizabeth. And Flair called Malenko the man of a thousand positions. Isn't Malenko married? And didn't he just have a baby a couple months ago? And it was pretty funny hearing the Horsemen all talk about how they were going to gangbang Liz. Here is the actual transcript of that interview:
Flair-"Liz WHOOO even WHOOO though WHOOO I'm WHOOO married WHOOO and WHOOO have WHOOO a WHOOO son,WHOOO who WHOOO is WHOOO the WHOOO reason WHOOO I WHOOO got WHOOO sued, WHOOO I'm WHOOO going WHOOO to WHOOO tie WHOOO your WHOOO ass WHOOO up WHOOO and WHOOO you're WHOOO going WHOOO to WHOOO ride WHOOO Space WHOOO Mountain WHOOO all WHOOO night WHOOO long WHOOOOOO!!!
Mongo-"Let me tell you something boy, I'm an all pro football player and I won the Superbowl now I'm a horseman, the most elite force in pro wrestling. I don't really know how I fit in there, but I'm going to kick your stinking teeth in, punk."
Benoit-"Liz after you're done riding Space Mountain, Your're going to ride the Pirates of the Caribbean then you're going to take a trip to the Haunted Mansion."
Malenko-"You see Liz my wife just had a baby a couple months ago and she's still a little fat, so I'm going to use every position I know and you will tap out to the Texas Clover Leaf, I promise you that.
Arn-"Since my arm is all fucked up someone is going to have to jerk me off while I watch."
See that was a funny interview.
Oh my God, Owen did it again! HAHA He's the world's most dangerous man. You think he would stop doing piledrivers like that.
It was great when Austin got arrested because all hell broke loose. That almost looked real. But on Nitro the Horsemen got arrested and they just left, no struggle they just walked away.
Did you hear the sound when Austin was getting arrested? It was like a Godzilla movie. Well the good Godzilla movies not that piece of crap new one.
It was funny after McMahon got his ass kicked when Mankind was trying to give him soda. Mankind is the second coming of Christ.
Goldust is back WHOOOO! I like the freaky Goldust better but the homo one was funny too. But they brought him back to soon. Unless he comes out dressed like Jesus. That would be great.
I just thought of this on the way home from the mall: The main event for Wrestlemaina 15 in my home town of Philadelphia will be Dan "I eat through a straw" Severn VERSUS Chris "I need a monkey to dial the phone" Reeve. Just think the Beast against Superman, that would kick ass. The only way to win is to stand up under their own power. They could lay them in the middle of the ring and wait for someone to stand up. I want front row tickets to see that.
While I was at the mall I got "MICK FOLEY'S TRIPLE THREAT", which is a Mankind, Dude Love, and Cactus Jack figures and it comes with a barbwire baseball bat. It's pretty cool.
Did you know there is Goldberg candy? Well there is, it's a bottle full of black and yellow jellybeans.
How come there isn't any Mankind merchandise? You go in a store and there's a million Austin and Goldberg crap but no Mankind(except the figures).
And why the hell can't I find a KANE figure? I saw one in a store but it was out of the box and it was missing the mask, that sucked.
I just read that Severn's not paralyzed and he can eat solid food, so I guess me saying he will fight Chris Reeve is wrong. So sue me(well don't, I'm poor).
I also just read that that laughing on Nitro is Chucky from the Child's Play movies. I can see it now the main event for Starrcade: Hogan and Chucky VERSUS DDP and Woody from Toy Story.
I can just imagine the interviews:
Hogan-"I know all my nWoites love to worship the ground under my feet and I love to worship myself."
Bishoff-"I love worshipping you too, because I love you man."
Hogan-"I love you too boss."
Chucky-Hey Page after I'm done stealing your soul I'm going to sick my head inside your wife's ass. Then I'm going home and fucking my new wife in the ass. HEHEHEHEHEHEHE
Then next week on Nitro
DDP-"Hollywood SCUM....(the crowd chants Hogan). I have a little surprise for YOU. And I do mean LITTLE."
Woody-I met DDP in a bar the other night and he we was knocking back some brewskis, and he told me he needed help from a demonic doll and I said you can count on me. Because Chucky you are a TOY, T-O-Y, TOY and I'm going to kick your buttocks, because if I can beat Sid then I can damn sure beat your battery needing ass."
DDP-"And after Woody is done beating up Chucky SCUM Chucky, I'm going to make you Hogan feel the BAAAA....."
Oh I just thought of what those papers Chyna got. Mark Henry is suing her for sexual harassment. That's what Stevie Richards did to Missy Hyatt in ECW.
(10-5-98)Come on say it, SAY IT! Who was right about those papers Chyna got? IT WAS ME DAMN YOU HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
(10-5-98)I said it a billion times before and I'll damn sure say it again, Mick Foley is Jesus. He is the greatest thing since the invention of the wheel, that hospital segment was the funniest thing I ever saw. With him blowing that whistle in McMahon's face and Mr. Socko, I must of pissed my pants four times.
(10-5-98)After Austin was done beating the shit out of McMahon, I flipped to Nitro and I see this kid beating up Bichoff. I mean Vince got hit with a bedpan(which was as funny as Mr.Socko), shocked with defibulator paddles and he got an enema, and Eric is getting his ass handed to him by a child. But what is more gay? Vince getting an enema? Or Bichoff getting his ass kicked by a little boy?
(10-5-98)Now this has nothing to do with wrestling but I just have to tell you about this. OK the other day my brother was trying to make a grill cheese, now that's just dandy but the moron was making it it a pot. Yes, you read that right a FUCKING POT. I must of laughed in his face for like two hours and I woke up the next day laughing. So my brother gets the retard of the week award, he should be proud but he's crying. HAHAHAHAHAHA A FUCKING POT HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
(10-5-98)How the hell can they call it the Wolfpac with only one member of the real Wolfpac?
(10-5-98)What the fuck is with this lWo? I, for one think there are enough NWOs. And shouldn't they be against Konnan? He's been taking all their money, just ask La Parka. ¡NO ME GUSTA! And their sign is "we got two words for you: KISS IT!!" and they slap their ass.
(10-5-98)How come Rick Stiener called Buff and Scott "sissies" and "girls", yet he's the one who told Buff's mom? Who's the sissy now? What a tattletale, and as Cindy Brady was told "it's not nice to tattle".
(10-5-98)Why was Buff's mom so pissed at him for being in the nWo? He was there before he broke his neck, how come she wasn't mad at him before? And why was she with Rick Stiener? Isn't he the one who fucked up Buff's neck in the first place?
(10-5-98)It would of been better if Stevie Ray's momma came out. I just think it would of been funnier with a sassy, jive talkin', big fat black lady yelling at Stevie. She could of told him to "Talk to the hand" and she could of been shaking her head, that would of been a classic.
(10-11-98)Since the Simpsons wasn't on I watched the Pacific Blue (or to you "hip" people Pac Blue)with Sable in it. And her hair is soooooooo fake it's not even funny(well it is). Her weave was a different color then her real hair, the damn weave was grey for Christ's sakes. And the reason she got in jail was for killing her cheating husband, which is funny because Marc is "cheating" with Jackie so I hope she really kills him and puts him out of his misery. Oh yeah she was a dyke too.
(10-11-98)Chucky is going to be on Nitro tomorrow to further embarrass the wrestling world, we'll see if he teams with Hogan to fight DDP like I said. You know Fat Tony will make it out like he's real and make a jackass out of himself. I just hope the they make him kill Skivone.
(10-11-98)Mankind better win the damn IC belt tomorrow. Or Shamrock because then at the PPV Mankind can beat him for it there.
(10-12-98)Why does Hawk's makeup look like the Warrior's? Are they trying to get sued?
(10-12-98)The Blue Blazer is back, baby. As you may or may not know he was my favorite wrestler back in the old days. But it was kind of sad that I recognized him with his back turned as soon as he came in the ring.
(10-12-98)Mankind's new finishing move with Mr.Socko is the greatest thing I ever saw in my life. Just the thought of him shoving that stinky ass sock in Mark Henry's mouth is great, I must of pissed my pants three times and shit them twice from laughing during the end of the match.
(10-12-98)The women's title sucks. And are we to believe that Jackie and Sable are the toughest women in the WWF? Chyna can beat the shit out of them two sluts any day of the week.
(10-12-98)That Austin/McMahon interview had to be the gayest thing I ever heard. Austin said Vince didn't have any balls, then Vince says his balls are as big as grapefruits and Austin is going to be picking seeds out of his mouth.
(10-12-98)It's a good thing Shamrock won the IC belt because now Mr. Socko can kick his ass and finally get Foley a singles title.
(10-12-98)Why does JR call X-Pac "kid"? How many kids do you see running around with beards?
(10-13-98)Who the hell was that race car guy on Nitro? And it was funny hearing Skivone say how great he is while he was getting his ass kicked.
(10-13-98)Why is it that everyone in WCW are tattletales? First it was Rick Stiener now it's the Horsemen.
(10-13-98)Remember when the Bulldog was this steroid monster? Now he's a fatass.
(10-13-98)Why do the lWo shirts look like the Italian flag?
(10-13-98)Is Rick Stiner that stupid? Doesn't he know that Chucky's a puppet with wires and crap coming out of it? Chucky can't come to the ring because he has a hand up his ass.
(10-13-98)Why does Adam Sandler's spear look better then Goldberg's?
(10-13-98)Did you see Bichoff get hit right in the face with a beer when he was going to get Flair? That got the loudest pop of the night.
(10-13-98)Are we to believe that it took all them cops to arrest Bichoff? I'm sure I could ring his scrawny neck by myself.
(10-13-98)Why did Michael Buffer say that this was the first time Sting and the Warrior teamed up? I think the Warrior during his speech earlier said they teamed up before, but it's hard to understand him so I may be wrong. And yes, they used to be the Bladerunners, Sting was Flash and Warrior was Rock.
(10-13-98)Mike Tenay just said that Sting and Warrior used to team up, now it looks like Michael Buffer is a jackass.
(10-13-98)The Scorpions on Sting's clothes look like they're giving him a titty twister.
(10-13-98)Why didn't the Warrior take off his coat? Oh I see he was only going to be in the ring for 30 seconds.
(10-13-98)You know it was funny when Skivone said that RAW's main event was 10 seconds long and every Nitro main event has been less then that ever since he said that and they don't even end with a clean pin.
(10-13-98)How is Warrior's smoke mysterious? You can see the smoke machines in the corner of the ring. It's just like Kane's fire, doesn't JR see the pyro things attached to the posts?
(10-16-98)Did you know they sell Goldberg masks? Well when I was at the mall yesterday I found out they do. I wanted to take a shit inside the mask and put it back so when someone trys it on they get shit all over them. And the mask looks like he's trying to take a mad shit but he's constipated.
(10-16-98)Why the hell can't I find the Mankind mask? I saw an Austin,Undertaker,Crow Sting,Wolfpac Sting,and Goldberg but no Mankind. I know they sell them because I saw it in the WWF catalog. And I know you're saying "well just order it from the catalog you retard" but I don't want to wait 20 years to get it, my friend ordered a Kane mask in June and he still hasn't gotten it yet.
(10-16-98)At Kay-Bee you can pre-order your very own Goldberg action figure. It's kinda sad that the toy knows more wrestling moves then the real thing.
(10-20-98)Jerkicho? Did DDP say Jerkicho? What is he in kindergarden? I bet he stays up all night making up names. "Let's see I'm fighting Lenny Lane tomorrow...Let's see Lenny Lane...Lenny Lane...OH LENNY LAME!! That's killer man."
(10-20-98)Is DDP trying to be Austin? He said "bottom line", and "son".
(10-20-98)And if DDP is so tough why is he kicking that old,fat guy? That guy is cool.
(10-20-98)Did you see that kid in the Goldberg charity video? This boy looked soooooooo pissed off that he was there, everyone was chanting "GOOOOOLDBERG" but this kid had this look of disgust on his face. Hey, who can blame him? If I was there I would cause such a ruckus it would be great.
(10-20-98)Why does everyone say DDP is the hardest working man in wrestling? Is moving next door to Bischoff that hard?
(10-20-98)The beginning of RAW kicked ass. But it would of been great if the ring broke and everyone died.
(10-20-98)Once again Mankind proved he is the funniest guy in wrestling. "We can start a clique,you,me,Austin,and MR. SOCKO."
(10-20-98)When Mankind said he had a game to play, I said that it has to be Twister. And when Mankind was playing Twister I was accused of reading about that. Now you have a cripple,a fat guy and a sock, what other game is there to play?
(10-20-98)When Austin made Vince squeal like a pig I thought he was going to rape him like in Deliverence.
(10-20-98)I want a Vince 3:16 shirt, both versions.
(10-20-98)I liked Kidman better when he was all itchy. He could be getting pinned and he'll still be scratching.
(10-20-98)I didn't know Debra McMichael was that hot, but don't give her the microphone. Knowing Mongo fucked her kinda ruins her though, I mean if you look at her ass you think "EWWW Mongo fucked her there". Now that sucks. At least she's dressing like a whore now.
(10-20-98)HA! Bishoff is wearing a cigar hat. Is that what he uses on Hogan? Or is that what Hogan uses on him?
(10-20-98)Hey, my brother finally said something constructive,he said Horace's name should be Horace Shit. Get it Horse Shit.
(10-20-98)Who the fuck cares if Hogan kicked Horace's ass? Everyone and their mother beat his down syndrome looking ass, I mean even I beat him up.
(10-20-98)Did you see the Sting/Hart video? They bleeped out the word "SUCK". What the fuck, all he said was suck? Hey,that rhymed.
(10-20-98)The Rock's new music sucks ass.
(10-20-98)As soon as Tiger said swallow kielbasa, I knew it was going to be the Kielbasa Queen from Howard Stern. Who who would of thought that she used to be one of Kama's hoes? I'll be damned.
(10-20-98)Austin should of had this giant knife like Crocodile Dundee, but instead he had this little pussy knife. Or McMahon could of pulled out this big ass machete and said "that's not a knife...that's a knife."
(10-20-98)Is the Head a lesbian? It's a woman's head so I guess the Head's a dyke.
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