This
was sent to me, amongst many other such things, but i am humored by
this and thought i would share this.. as i could not imagine anyone
to be offended by this.. *light hearted humour???*.... or is it???? *WINK*
It
reminds me of a saying ....i am sure you all have heard of it
... *Everyone is crazy ... 'cept You and i ...* *LOL* |
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The
Top 10 Most Commonly Found Doms
On AOL:
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1. The
'I Am Dom Hear Me Roar' Dom:
All
shiny new leather wear, with a belt full of toys (just bought at Jack's
Whip-O-Rama). Of *course* he knows what to do! He read SM101...and even
watched Exit To Eden three whole times!
2. The
'I Just Wanna Get Laid' Dom:
Roams
the halls of AOL sending IMs to the ladies in the Chateaux telling them
"On your knees! I am a Dom and U R my slave!". When he gets irate IMs back
from the Domme he just sent to by mistake (what, read a profile? you *must*
be kidding, right?), he quickly changes his tune to "R U a FDom? I am your
slave! May I lick your boots?".
3. The
'Dungeon Slut' Dom:
Has
a new 'lady love' each day (sometimes 2 or 3 a day). He swears each time
that *this* one is his 'eternal true love'....at least for the next two
hours.
4. The
'Psycho-Stalker' Dom:
Wants
to know *exactly* what you do...every minute of the day and night.
Insists on BCC's of all sent mail, and Forwards of all read mail, plus
access to your account to check up on you. Do you get the feeling that
someone is watching you? With this one, you're probably right.
5. The
'I Just Wanna Be Your *Friend*' Dom:
Offers
to guide you and protect you....you innocent sweet thing you. Oh, those
other 10 subs? Just friends. Really.
6. The
'Of Course Im Dom...
Uh
Oh My Wife Is Home Gotta Run' Dom:
Warning
signs: Picks 'no response' on marital status in profile. "No honey
you can't call me at home...call my voice mail instead". Often disappears
in the middle of a hot n heavy cyber session...uses an excuse like 'my
power went out' when asked about it. "Of *course* Im not married!"
7. The
'Im Not *That* Type Of Dom' Dom:
Squeaky-clean
image. The type of Dom that everyone *knows* is a good guy. He would never
do something less than up-front and honorable. Uh-huh.
8. The
'Tom Cruise' Dom:
He's
young, rich, handsome and perfect....until you meet him in person. Then
you find out that the 'Tom Cruise look-alike' you've been subbing to is
5'4", 400 lbs, bald, 48 years old, and living with his elderly mother.
(Oh yeah... and he works as a clerk at 7-11...not as a CEO of a 'major
corp').
9. The
'Alex I'd Like to Buy a Clue For $200' Dom:
Ok,
now you've got a sub....now what?
10. The
'I Don't Have A Sub Bone In
My Body'
Dom: Really a bottom at heart, just refuses to admit it...even to himself.

And
... just in case you submissives out there thought you
were
off the hook.... *LOL* |
TOP
7 subs
1. POOR-ME
SUB:
This
"sub" always has something going wrong in her life. Of course, it is never
her fault.. she is always being played upon and victimized by others. If
only she found the *perfect* dom, her life would be problem-free and forever-blissful.
Favorite
IM to send:
"Will you be my dom, sir? I am just a helpless little
subbie."
Favorite
IM to receive:"Just do what I say, slave!"
2. JUST-DO-ME
SUB:
This
"sub" just wants to be beaten. It doesn't really matter by who, or what..as
long as he (I use "he" here because these are typically male) can feel
the lash. Frequently misbehaving on purpose, this sub can drive any dom
*crazy*.
Favorite
IM to send:"I have been naughty and need to be punished. Spank
me now, Mistress!"
Favorite
IM to receive:"You are a bad sub and need to be punished! Bend
over!"
3. BARBIE-SUB:
This
"sub" just likes the way she looks in leather fashions. She is afraid of
the whip, and has never seen a clamp in her life. Her favorite store is
"Dream Dresser", and her whole paycheck is spent there each week.
Favorite
IM to send:"Would you like to know what I am wearing, sir?"
Favorite
IM to receive: "What are you wearing?"
4. HE-HURT-ME
SUB:
This
"sub", without any negotiations, talk of limits or safewords, rushes out
to a country cabin to to play with a dom she met 2 days ago online. After
letting him tie her up and whip her, she decides he is a menace to society,
and can't wait to tell all her "sub" friends he is a "BAD dom".
Favorite
IM to send:"Sub sis, I need to pass on a warning to you!"
Favorite
IM to receive:"My poor subsis, you have got to warn everyone
about this creep!"
5. I-JUST-NEED-A-MAN
SUB:
This
"sub", after exhausting all her singles bar and healthclub meeting places,
decides that the D/s world would be a good place to meet a *man*. she really
has no interest in D/s, she just needs someone to spend the rest of her
life with. She is a close relative of POOR-ME SUB. Amazingly, when
she "gets her dom", she suddenly looses interest in any type of sex.
Favorite
IM to send:"Sir, will you take care of me forever?"
Favorite
IM to receive:"I have always dreamed of having a large family."
6. NO-ONE-CAN-TOP-ME
SUB:
This
"sub" longs to submit, yet claims no dom is strong enough to top her. Some
say she is really just a Domme in disguise.
Favorite
IM to send:"Think you are strong enough to put me in my place,
jerk?"
Favorite
IM to receive:"No, Mistress, I am really just a weak and helpless
slave. ::falling to the floor and kissing your boots::
7. SUBMISSION
IS THE GREATEST GIFT Submissive:
This
submissive has stars in her eyes and naivity in her heart. She swoons
at the mere thought of a dom, any dom, asking her to pass the salt.
She writes her dom's name in the corner of her notebook with little hearts
and flowers around it. She declares that there is no better way to
love than through submission, and that D/s is a "better" and "higher" manner
of loving than anything a vanilla person might do. She lives on an
emotional roller-coaster, sentimental enough to cry when seeing a long-distance
phone company commercial.
Favorite
IM to send:"You are all of life to me, there is nothing about
life worthwhile without you."
Favorite
IM to receive:"I am everything you'll ever want or need, and
I'll protect you from everything."
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