SinginRose's Online Safety Tips

Online Safety Tips...

Here's a list of online safety tips that I've come up with, over the past year or so that I've been online:-)
If you notice anything I've missed, or that you think I should add, feel free to e-mail me, and I'll add it to the list:-)

General Online Safety Tips...

VERY IMPORTANT - NEVER give out personal information like your full name, address, phone number, therapist's name etc. to ANYONE online that you don't know. Don't include your full name or city and state in your web pages, or in any online service profiles. (Personally, it takes me anywhere from several weeks to several months before I feel comfortable giving out info like this to people I've met online.)
NEVER download files sent to you from anyone you don't know. Many contain either viruses or programs that send your online service passwords and private account info to hackers. If you aren't sure whether a file sent to you is safe, don't download it.
Learn how to log chats and private messages on whatever online services you use. If someone is bothering you either in a chat room/channel or in messages, turn your logs on immediately.
If someone is causing a disturbance in a chat room/channel, you can use the "Ignore" feature to make that person's chat not appear on your screen.

Staying Safe in Chats......

If someone is discussing something that's triggering for you, and you mention politely that it's a trigger, either they should encourage you to leave for a few minutes to get yourself safe, or they should change the subject.
If it's a topic chat, or if others are discussing triggering stuff and they don't change the subject after you mention that it's triggering, LEAVE. If the chat is safe, people will understand your need to leave for your own feeling of safety. When you enter most MPD topic chats, the host will announce what the topic is. If you know that this topic is not safe for you, leave and ask the host via e-mail or messages what the topic will be the next time the chat meets. Many chats have mailing lists; once you join the list, you'll get notices in advance about the topics, so you can pick and choose which you want to attend.
If they DON'T change the subject and try to make you stay by sending messages or by telling you that you shouldn't be triggered and you start to get triggered - GET OUT, it's not safe. Anytime you feel intimidated or pushed into staying in a space that isn't safe for you, LEAVE, or even sign off of your computer for a time. Remember-- no one has the right to try to intimidate you!
Be especially careful with inside kids. Make sure they know to find an adult to help them if they don't feel safe. Make sure everyone in your system who chats online knows about leaving channels/rooms or signing off if they are being harassed or made to feel bad. If kids are in a kids or littles chat, make sure some adults know what is going on. If kids have their own e-mail accounts, make sure they haven't downloaded files or sound files that have triggers in them.

How to Tell if a Person is Unsafe for You...

NOTE: Because different things are unsafe for each person, just because a person is unsafe for YOU, does not necessarily mean that they are intentionally engaging in unsafe behavior. The following are merely guidelines to help you determine if a person is safe for you, personally.
Do you notice that you are scared after every time you've had contact with this person, or that a specific alter is triggered? Do you engage in unsafe behavior after contact with this person, like self-harm, on a frequent basis? If so, they may be triggering this alter on purpose.
Does the person trigger you in non-topic chats, and do they continue to talk about triggering subjects (unless it's a topic chat where the subject is announced as the topic for the hour) after you've mentioned that the subject is unsafe for you?
Do they insist that you're wrong for feeling unsafe if you're triggered, and try to make you stay when you feel unsafe?
Does the person scare littles on purpose on a regular basis? Do they tell you not to get a big to help protect you, or do they do things like play sounds that make you unable to get a big to help scared littles?
Does the person ask you for very personal information, like details about your address, phone number, perps, specific triggers, abuse? When you tell them it's not safe to discuss those things with them, do they keep asking and try to intimidate you into telling them?
Does the person trigger people in posts or e-mails on purpose without using trigger marks regularly?

Chatting and e-mailing with other multiples can be a wonderful experience. In the vast majority of chats/mail groups, you'll be safe and will get to talk with interesting people from all across the country. But please do keep these safety tips in mind in case something does go wrong!

Copyright © 1997, Carol A. Martzinek

| Home | About Me | Links | Mental Health Links |
| Child Abuse/Domestic Violence Links | My Friends | Spirit Links

	VERY IMPORTANT - NEVER give out personal information like your full name, address, phone number, therapist's name etc. to ANYONE online that you don't know. Don't include your full name or city and state in your web pages, or in any online service profiles. (Personally, it takes me anywhere from several weeks to several months before I feel comfortable giving out info like this to people I've met online.)
	NEVER download files sent to you from anyone you don't know. Many contain either viruses or programs that send your online service passwords and private account info to hackers. If you aren't sure whether a file sent to you is safe, don't download it.
	Learn how to log chats and private messages on whatever online services you use. If someone is bothering you either in a chat room/channel or in messages, turn your logs on immediately.
	If someone is causing a disturbance in a chat room/channel, you can use the "Ignore" feature to make that person's chat not appear on your screen.

	If someone is discussing something that's triggering for you, and you mention politely that it's a trigger, either they should encourage you to leave for a few minutes to get yourself safe, or they should change the subject.
	If it's a topic chat, or if others are discussing triggering stuff and they don't change the subject after you mention that it's triggering, LEAVE. If the chat is safe, people will understand your need to leave for your own feeling of safety. When you enter most MPD topic chats, the host will announce what the topic is. If you know that this topic is not safe for you, leave and ask the host via e-mail or messages what the topic will be the next time the chat meets. Many chats have mailing lists; once you join the list, you'll get notices in advance about the topics, so you can pick and choose which you want to attend.
	If they DON'T change the subject and try to make you stay by sending messages or by telling you that you shouldn't be triggered and you start to get triggered - GET OUT, it's not safe. Anytime you feel intimidated or pushed into staying in a space that isn't safe for you, LEAVE, or even sign off of your computer for a time. Remember-- no one has the right to try to intimidate you!
	Be especially careful with inside kids. Make sure they know to find an adult to help them if they don't feel safe. Make sure everyone in your system who chats online knows about leaving channels/rooms or signing off if they are being harassed or made to feel bad. If kids are in a kids or littles chat, make sure some adults know what is going on. If kids have their own e-mail accounts, make sure they haven't downloaded files or sound files that have triggers in them.

	NOTE: Because different things are unsafe for each person, just because a person is unsafe for YOU, does not necessarily mean that they are intentionally engaging in unsafe behavior. The following are merely guidelines to help you determine if a person is safe for you, personally.
	Do you notice that you are scared after every time you've had contact with this person, or that a specific alter is triggered? Do you engage in unsafe behavior after contact with this person, like self-harm, on a frequent basis? If so, they may be triggering this alter on purpose.
	Does the person trigger you in non-topic chats, and do they continue to talk about triggering subjects (unless it's a topic chat where the subject is announced as the topic for the hour) after you've mentioned that the subject is unsafe for you?
	Do they insist that you're wrong for feeling unsafe if you're triggered, and try to make you stay when you feel unsafe?
	Does the person scare littles on purpose on a regular basis? Do they tell you not to get a big to help protect you, or do they do things like play sounds that make you unable to get a big to help scared littles?
	Does the person ask you for very personal information, like details about your address, phone number, perps, specific triggers, abuse? When you tell them it's not safe to discuss those things with them, do they keep asking and try to intimidate you into telling them?
	Does the person trigger people in posts or e-mails on purpose without using trigger marks regularly?