Chapter 130
Friday Night in Tokyo.
"So..it was like this..a man went into a bar.." a man said standing on a stage in a night club.
"Boo!" someone shouted. Soon the entire group was booing. The man hurried off the stage.
"I just can't do this anymore," he said.
A few minutes later he was walking out the stage door of the night club.
"It wasn't as bad as they thought," Mike Leslie said leaning against a wall nearby.
"No? Well..things have changed," the man said. "Micky Arkio is just a thing of the past."
"Micky...you just have to change with the times, that's all."
"What should I tell? President Clinton jokes?"
"No, but.." Mike said.
"See the thing is Mike, I just don't know what's funny anymore."
"Sorry to hear it," Mike said.
"Yeah..well..this is the last you'll see of me."
Elsewhere.
"How's it going up there?" Michiru asked into the phone.
"Not so great. Hotaru's taking a while to adapt.," Setsuna replied.
"Oh...that's too bad," Michiru said. "To tell you the truth, we're all pretty baffled back here. Her skills could be useful."
"I'm not about to ask her to inject herself into this mess without complete cause," Setsuna said. "She's been through enough right now. I'm just trying to help her rejoin society."
"It's still too bad," Michiru said. "None of us have any answers."
"Guess you'll just have to hang in there," Setsuna said.
"I guess so," Michiru said.
Meanwhile at Amy Anderson's house.
"The room's all yours," Amy said. "No one ever used it while we lived here anyway."
"Thanks Amy," Greg said.
"Least I can do."
"You could really do well in real estate," Greg said with a grin.
"Or demolition of such real estate," Amy replied. "Well I'll let you get unpacked. I've got to plan how I'm going to attack my latest assignments."
"Sure," Greg said.
"How about you guys help me with a little problem I have?" Mike said.
"Does it involve the Yakuza?" Rick asked.
"The revenue service?" Steve asked.
"Or Tony the Pizza King?" Rick asked.
"No," Mike said.
"We're listening," the two said.
"You guys ever hear of Micky Arkio?"
"Sure, great stand up comic, until a few years ago," Rick said.
"Yeah, he's lost his touch," Steve said.
"Exactly, well I'm friends with him," Mike said.
"Then you are responsible," the other two said and stared at him.
"Maybe, maybe not," Mike said. "Listen, I want to help get him back on track."
"Why?" Rick asked.
"Because he used to be hilarious," Mike said.
"I admit, I have missed his kind of comedy," Steve said.
"Do you think it's even possible to do it," Rick said.
"Yes," Mike said. "He hasn't lost his ability, just his motivation. That night at the film awards depressed him..the three of us will give it back to him."
"Isn't this something the girls should be doing, I mean..we're just supposed to blow stuff up and get into trouble. They're the ones who save people's lives, carreers, and whatever else," Steve said.
"Who says?" Mike said.
"Well that's the way life's been going," Rick said.
"Greetings," Serena said appearing.
"AHH!" the three shouted.
"What are you three shouting about?" Serena said.
"Nothing," Mike said. "Something we can do for you Serena?"
"Well..I don't know..." Serena said. "You see...I haven't been able to find anyone. I mean..Amy and Greg are at their house studying."
"Yeah..their house," the three guys replied and started hooting.
"You guys okay?" Serena asked.
"Never better," Rick said.
"As for Lita, Mina, and Raye, I think they're up to something," Serena said.
"Pertaining to what?" Rick asked.
"No idea," Serena said. "But they aren't around. So...that leaves you guys. I want to see what you three do."
"What we do?" Steve asked.
"Sure...you obviously have a lot of time on your hands," Serena said.
"Ah..well..then...let's explain it. In my spare time I assist Scotland Yard to solve various crimes," Mike said.
"Rick is a part time Proctologist at a well known metropolitan hospital," Rick said.
"And Steve can't launch a rocket to save his life, but he still tries," Mike said.
Serena glanced at them.
"Actually Serena, we've got something right up your alley," Rick said.
"Like what?" Serena asked.
"We're going to improve a stand up comic's life, you know make him feel good," Steve said.
"How are you three going to pull that off?" Serena asked.
"Oh..that was to be decided along the way," Mike said. "But we could use you. I mean you're an expert at making people happy, even when they're at the point of suicide."
"Well I am a bit perky," Serena said. "And just how much footage has Patterson shown you anyway?"
"Enough," Rick said and the three grinned.
"Ehh..well are you going or not?" Serena said.
"Lead the way Mike," Steve said.
"Okay...this is going to be interesting," Mike said.
"It had better be," Serena said.
In less than half an hour he four arrived at a large mansion.
"How can this be it?" Rick asked.
"Well he bought it before he fell out of favor," Mike said.
"Fell out of favor?" the other three asked.
"I've been experimenting with important sounding words," Mike said.
"Why?" the three asked.
"It's a psychological phenomenon really," Mike said.
"Don't you two beat him up when he gets this annoying?" Serena asked.
"We used to..but then..it happened so often.." Steve said.
"Yeah..we tired out before he did," Rick said.
The two reached the front door and knocked.
"Who is it?" came a voice.
"Mike Leslie..and..his band of merry men..and um.women.sort of."
"Whady'a want?"
"To talk to you."
"Well okay.." Micky said. The door opened.
"Automatic..wow.." Serena said and stepped inside. The other three followed.
A metal contraption skidded out in front of them.
"Ah..daimon," Serena said. Rick and Steve took up defensive positions.
"It's just robo butler," Mike said.
"What?" the other three said.
"I am robo butler," the contraption said. "Follow me to his highness Micky Arkio."
"Wow..that must cost some money," Serena said.
"Not a lot, it came pretty cheap because of it's history of going out of control at random times," Mike said.
"You'd better be kidding," Rick said.
"Fraid not, but it only needs a good kick to the head to get it back to normal," Mike said.
"Oh..well..that's okay then," Steve said.
The robot stopped in front of a room.
"This is Master Arkio's room," the butler said and opened the door.
"After you," Mike said.
Serena stepped forward followed by Rick and Steve.
"Go away robo butler...before you kill somebody," Mike said.
"Perhaps I should just shoot myself would that do?" Robo Butler snapped.
"Sure."
"Ehh..." robo butler said and rolled off.
"They program him well," Mike said.
"What's all this underwear doing in here!" Serena shouted.
Mike grinned and entered the room. Sitting in stacks all around the massive room were pairs of underwear. Rick and Steve were staring up at them almost in reverence.
"Mike! Who is this weirdo?" Serena said.
"This is just his trick room. His real office is across the hall," Mike said "Come on."
"If it's not his real office.." Serena said.
"Stacks and stacks of underwear..." Rick and Steve said in unison, and then
followed.
"So did you enjoy the underwear room?" Micky asked.
"No," Serena said.
"We found it curious," Rick said.
"Yeah, it's quite an impressive collection," Steve said.
"Bought a truck full of it back when I could," Micky said. "Now, I'll probably have to sell it all to pay the rent."
"Who would buy the underwear?" Serena screeched.
"Foreign investors," Mike said.
"You'd be surprised about the offers I've gotten," Micky said. "So Mike who are these people you managed to trick into being your friends?"
"Oh..well..this here is Serena."
"Pretty..but what do those meatballs on your head do exactly...transmit radio waves?" Micky asked.
"None of your business," Serena said. "Though I must admit it's one of the few good insults I've heard in a while."
"And this is Rick, and Steve."
"Hello," Rick sang.
"Hello," Steve sang a key higher.
Then they both glanced at each other.
"Hmm..no third person," they muttered.
"Seems like a fitting bunch," Micky said.
"I only know him because my friend dates him," Serena said.
"Oh..you have a girlfriend Mike. Why didn't you tell me man! I thought we had more time till the apocalypse!" Micky said.
The others started laughing.
"Apocalypse? Isn't that some Greek temple?" Serena asked.
"No, that's the acropolis," Steve said.
"Oh..." Serena said.
"Listen Micky..we're here to help you out. We know you've had some problems with your comedy career.." Mike said.
"The problem is no one thinks I'm funny," Micky said.
"That's because you're not," Mike said. "The Micky everyone knows and loves was the one who broke the rules, didn't do what everyone else did, you know the time you parked the limoseine out in front of that hotel as if waiting for someone, and left it there for two days."
"I remember that, that was hilarious," Rick said.
"And that time you flew that remote controlled airplane in for a landing at Haneda airport," Steve said.
"I did some jail time for that one," Micky said.
"Now you just tell those bad jokes," Mike said. "Remember when you would tell those stories which always ended with someone being eaten by a shark..and yet somehow they were nowhere near water. You just aren't trying."
"After the film awards what's the point?" Micky said.
"You took a chance," Rick said.
"It didn't work," Steve said.
"They gave you some opportunities to try again, but you lost the heart for it didn't you?" Mike asked.
"Yeah, I guess I did, and now it's too late," Micky said.
"Your turn," Mike whispered to Serena.
"Oh..it's never too late," Serena said. "You know these guys are three of the most twisted, insane, slightly brain dead, people I've ever met, but I also know all sorts of people like them...and I guess if they still can laugh at you, and they are looking for your kind of humor things can work. After all..they say you're a rogue. Right?"
"Pretty much, I get into as much trouble as I can," Micky said.
"Well..see..then it's not hard for you to make a comeback, all you have to do is kiss the Prime Minister or something..then baam..it's all yours," Serena said.
"Kiss the Prime Minister, that's a very good idea," Micky said. "You guys really think I could do it?"
"Sure," the four said.
"I've been saying that all along," Mike said.
"Yeah, but you're only trying to get in on the action," Micky said. "Still..we need to make plans..," an alarm went off.
"Uh oh..robo butler's gone bezerk in sector three. You guys want to help me disable it?"
"I'm there," Steve said.
"Me too," Rick said.
"I'll pass," Serena said.
"Not my cup of tea," Mike said.
"All right then..onward men!" Micky said and the three ran out.
"We actually reached him," Mike said.
"That quickly? I'm amazed," Serena said.
"Some people just need to hear a few words," Mike said.
"That few though," Serena said.
"I think he was desperate," Mike said.
"Well I'm glad I could help."
"We're not semi brain dead by the way. We just act like it," Mike said.
"I know. I was just trying to make a point."
Mike fell to the ground and began glowing suddenly. Serena began to back up.
"It's happening to you isn't it?" she said.
"Fraid so," Mike said.
"Celestial Moon Power!" Serena shouted and did her transformation. Mike had turned into a monster. Serena waited for him to turn into a Guardian Neptune which he did in short order.
"What is the deal with Guardian Neptune anyway...I'm from Neptune yet I don't use a water attack..just what is the deal?
"But you have at triton," Sailor Moon said.
"Oh..right the symbol for Neptune..I got ya," Neptune said. "Still...you know what I don't understand?
"What?" Sailor Moon muttered.
"They call it a hamburger..but there's cow meat in it. So it should be called a cowburger."
"I guess you have a point."
"Thank you. Thank you," Neptune said and pulled out his sword. "I think we have to have a little fight."
"Moon Sword," Sailor Moon said. "Who'd have ever thought I'd be fighting you of all people. Venus should be here."
"But she isn't, and besides, that fight would last for two seconds, but you on the other hand. Well..we all know your fighting abilities are reliant on that big sceptre of yours."
"I can still fight."
"Yeah, about as well as I can....this may be interesting," Neptune said. "En Guarde!"
"That's french right?"
"Like I would now," Neptune said and thrust his sword. Sailor Moon met it and blocked.
"Hah hah..I assure you Cardinal Richelieu I am quite able to match your ability," Neptune said.
"What are you talking about?" Sailor Moon said and blocked another attack.
"You haven't even read the three musketeers."
"Well no...you have?"
"Of course not! Hah!" Neptune said swung at her. She ducked it and swung back. He blocked it.
"Ah...the force is strong with this one," Neptune said instantly opening himself up for a lawsuit.
"I'm going to have to beat you quickly," Sailor Moon said and swung her sword. Neptune blocked again. The two parried across the room, back and forth.
"I'm really not a sword fighter," Neptune said.
"That I've noticed," Sailor Moon said and stepped back before jabbing. Neptune slid away.
"Close but not Sitar."
"Stop saying stupid things!" Sailor Moon said. She called on Venus' agility and leapt backward landing on her feet. Neptune fired his sword.
"Hey no fair," Sailor Moon said as she dived out of the way.
"Oh I see, this was supposed to be fair..too bad," Neptune said.
"Ehh.." Sailor Moon said.
"But you know...this fight is pretty boring," Neptune said. "Let's turn it into a chase!" he said and leapt towards another door.
"I should just let him go," Sailor Moon muttered but then took off after him.
Neptune leapt down a corridor. She leapt after him.
He turned acorner. She followed. An orange blast flew at her. She dived under it as it flew into a wall and exploded.
"Ah...nuts," Neptune said and kept running.
Sailor Moon got up and leapt towards him. Neptune started leaping again. He blasted open a door and rushed into it. Sailor Moon followed. It was very dark inside. Sailor Moon held her sword up in front of her, but didn't provide much light. A shot came out of the darkness. She dived away from it.
He won't stay in the same place. She thought. The next shot came from the exact same place.
"Hah hah!" Neptune shouted and then jumped to a different area.
Sailor Moon looked for some cover and hid behind it.
"Wonder why I can't see his sword, and he can see mine," Sailor Moon muttered. "For that matter, I'll have to go without it.." she said and let her sword disapear. Slowly she crept out of her hiding place and moved across the floor. She pulled her tiara off her head and waited for him to make a move.
"Yaaahh!" Neptune shouted and leapt through the air. Sailor Moon didn't feel a thing as he flew over her, by several feet. Sailor Moon turned.
"Hey..missed," Neptune said.
"Moon Tiara Magic!" Sailor Moon shouted and launched her assault into the darkness.
"Missed me!" Neptune shouted.
"Come and get me sucker!" Sailor Moon said. "I'm waiting."
"Naw..." Neptune said. Sailor Moon heard the door open and close. She sighed and followed.
Neptune dashed down the corridor. Sailor Moon raced right after him.
"Moon Tiara Magic!" she shouted. The attacked bounced off the wall and at Neptune...who dropped to the floor spun and leapt right at her. He tackled her and pushed her down before flipping up and running back down the hallway. He held his sword above him and destroyed the ceiling as he went. Sailor Moon dodged falling bits of plaster as she jumped after him.
"Oh come on..this is too easy," Neptune said and rounded a corner. Sailor Moon winced as she was hit by a small bit of cement. She slowed slightly and then followed. A blast of energy flew at her. She slid around it and kept coming.
"Fine!" Neptune said and swung his sword at her. She went for his legs to try and tackle him, and dived under the sword swing propelling Neptune into the wall. She rolled off of him.
"Moon Sword," she said and faced him again.
"Okay..we'll have another boring sword fight.." Neptune said and readied himself.
"I will win in the end you know."
"Why?"
"Because good always win."
"You'd like to think so, wouldn't you."
"Well in my corner of existence, I kinda have experience," Sailor Moon said.
"Let me ask ya something kid..."
"What?"
"Boxers or briefs?"
"I'm a girl you imbecile!"
"Like I care!" Neptune said and swung at her. She blocked it and tried to push his sword away from him. He pushed back.
"Hah..you're not even as strong as I am," Sailor Moon said.
"You're probably just using Jupiter's power."
"Nope."
"Liar," Neptune said and tried to roll away. Sailor Moon kicked him. He staggered back. Then she did one of her own brand of jump kicks. Neptune staggered back down the hall.
"Moon Tiara Magic!" she shouted and launched the attack. It smashed into Neptune and threw him several more feet back. He lay on the ground breathing heavily.
"Moon Crystal Healing Power!" she shouted. Slowly he returned to normal.
"Woah...that was...fruitalicious!" Mike said.
"Don't you ever shut up?" Sailor Moon said.
"And deprive the world off all I have to give," Mike said.
"I'm sure the world wouldn't mind," Sailor Moon said.
The next day.
"Well..thanks to you kids I've begun my comeback," Micky said. "And they say teenagers are cynical people."
"Well..most of them are," Serena said.
"Is that just your opinion miss optimism," Mike said.
"Don't..." Serena said.
"Fine, fine," Mike said.
"Say...what happened to Rick and Steve?" Serena asked.
"Oh..they're off fighting robo butler it went beserk again," Micky said.
"They've found a new toy," Mike said. "See everyone's happy."
"Yeah I just got a network deal," Micky said. "But the Prime Minister wants to kill me."
"Everything has it's costs right, I hope you do well," Serena said. "Just don't come by my house all right?"
"Fine," Micky said. "Well I've got to work on material for my next act. Maybe I could bring a fish onstage and then just leave it there," Micky said.
"That's golden," Mike said.
"I don't get it," Serena said.
"Pray you never do young lady...it's a sign that you've left the realm of the normal and entered the abnormal. It shouldn't happen to such a pretty girl," Micky said.
"Yeah, imagine yourself acting like me twenty four hours aday," Mike said.
"What..don't you get to sleep?" Serena moaned.
"Oh..that was just symbolism.." Mike said.
"Whew..it's still a pretty putrid existence..ahem..I mean..oh.it just is!" Serena said and stalked off.
"Nice girl huh," Micky said.
"Yep, she has her moments," Mike said.
"Well.good luck to you Mike..and if you need some connections, you give me a ring."
"Uh..now that you mention it."
"Hah..I knew it," Micky said.
"Well you see..if we just had a talent agent appearing at our next band performance..maybe.."
"I'll see what I can do," Micky said. "Are you any good?"
"We are the definition of good."
"That's your band's name isn't it?"
"It is now..I like the sound of it," Mike said.
CHAPTER 119 CHAPTER 120 CHAPTER 121 CHAPTER 122 CHAPTER 123
CHAPTER 124 CHAPTER 125 CHAPTER 126 CHAPTER 127 CHAPTER 128
CHAPTER 129 CHAPTER 130 CHAPTER 131 CHAPTER 132 CHAPTER 133