Chapter 133
Serena woke up with a start.
"I had another dream," she said.
"What was this one about?" Luna muttered.
"I have no idea," Serena said. "Luna..have you noticed the disturbing trend that has been going on since the third year of junior high?"
"No Serena, what trend would that be?" Luna said. Disturbing trend. She's never used that phrase before.
"I'll tell you what it is. It's all a matter of battles per capita," Serena said.
"What?" Luna said.
"Yeah, you know..battles per capita..which I think is...oh it doesn't matter," Serena said. "Look let's use a different measurement."
"Please do," Luna said.
"Since my last year of junior high, I've been involved in all the battles and been the big hero less..and everyone else has been the big hero more. Do you follow me so far?"
"I guess."
"Add to that, that my usual activities of bringing joy to the world has decreased."
"Probably because of your increased high school work load, you have to do more work just to keep your d average."
"I don't have a d average, well..at least not permanently," Serena said.
Luna sighed.
"Now, I've constructed this graph," Serena said pulling one in front of her.
"When?" Luna said in disbelief.
"That doesn't matter, now look, what we have here is a graphical representation of..."
"Graphical representation!" Luna said.
"Exciting huh?" Serena said. "Now on this chart I've averaged toghether all the conflicts and battles that me and all my friends are involved in. Now..what I've constructed is a ratioof the minutes that my life has any real meaning to anybody in for every average twenty two minute period."
"Twenty two minute period? Where'd you get that number?"
"Not important, now the point is that for every twenty two minute period I'm important for about five minutes..now what is wrong with this picture."
"No idea," Luna said.
"Luna! You're not cooperating!"
"Guess I'm not."
"There's clearly degredation here," Serena said.
Luna let out a screech and woke up with a start.
"What is it Luna?" Serena asked drowsily.
"I had the most disturbing dream," Luna said.
"Oh..I know how it feels, try to go back to sleep," Serena said and went back to sleep herself.
"Us cats are good at sleeping, what an odd dream," Luna said and closed her eyes.
"AH!" Serena said waking up.
"What?" Luna said waking up again.
"I have a very short but annoying dream," Serena said.
"Where?" Luna said.
"What do you mean where? Here?"
"Sorry..I'm a little confused right now," Luna said.
"I am too.." Serena said.
That morning at school.
"Pollen," Mike said.
"So?" Rick said.
"That's the joke," Mike said.
"Pollen's the punchline," Rick said.
"Uh huh," Mike said.
"Not much to the joke is there?" Rick said.
"There never is,"Mike said.
"Guess Steve isn't coming in today."
"Guess not, he might be visiting Lita."
"Yeah..he really roughed her up didn't he?"
"Not his fault."
"Of course not."
"Hello guys, what's going on?" Greg asked walking in.
"Oh..hey Greg.." Rick said.
"Just the man we wanna see," Mike said.
"Why?" Greg said apprehensively.
"No reason, I just love to see that look on your face when you wonder just what I'm up too," Mike said.
"Mike's worked long and hard to illicit that kind of response from people," Rick said with a grin. "Did I just say illicit?"
The other two nodded.
"Well.." Rick said and pulled out a little book, he wrote something in it and then put the book away.
"What's that?" Mike asked. "I've never seen it before."
"Pray you never see it again," Rick said in a very scary tone.
"This is an important question Raye," Mina said as the two walked up the stairs.
"I understand," Raye said.
"If a guy is a great kisser, is that enough?" Mina asked.
"Not normally," Raye said.
"But there are exceptions?"
"Mina, you're the self proclaimed love goddess, you should know this," Raye said. "Now you've got me curious."
"If you didn't know for sure why didn't you tell me?"
"Mina, how could I know for sure?" Raye asked. "I measure a guy's adequacy by looks, intelligence, and courtesy, kissing is an added bonus."
"Hmm...why does intelligence rank so high for you?" Mina asked.
"Mina.." Raye sighed.
"Surfing the internet Melvin?" Amy asked as she noticed that the only other occupant of the computer lab that morning was the nerdmeister himself.
"I'm not merely surfing the net, I am changing the face of it."
"How so?"
"Today I am testing my latest program designed to upgrade my website to it's full capacity."
"Melvin, how many people visit your website?"
"Seventeen hundred, a day."
"Why?" Amy blurted.
"Et tu Amy?" Melvin said.
"Well..Melvin, isn't an honest question?"
"I am the leadingmost student expert in hundreds of fields, many other students with my similar height build, personality, and glasses perscription wish to to visit my site and view what I have to offer."
"I see.." Amy said.
"I have my own world organization."
"That does what?"
"Surfs the internet..we're just sort of a club."
"That does what it already did before."
"More or less, but we do it as an online community."
A thought came to Amy of an entire neighborhood filled with Melvins walking out the door with briefcases and getting into cars while their wives, also with Melvin's trademark face waved from the porch.
Amy shuddered.
"Cold?" Melvin asked.
"A little," Amy said quickly and smiled before backing away.
Serena meanwhile was dashing down the street.
"Serena! Are you kidding me! I thought you had outgrown this!" Luna said.
"No this is my plan you see! I have to live my life exactly like I was before.."
"Before what?"
"Before, I stopped being so important.."
"What do you mean?"
"Listen Luna, I have no time to graph this out for you!"
"No..that was just a dream last night," Luna said to herself.
"See Luna....I've been doing some thinking."
"About a certain disturbing trend?" Luna muttered.
"Disturbing trend? Guess you could it put it that way. Anyway...you notice that more and more my friends are getting into fights and I'm nowhere to be found."
"It's probably because...no..never mind.."
"Well..you know what I think, I've changed my lifestyle habits, so I'll change them back."
"I see..and what do you hope to accomplish by doing this?"
"Not sure yet, but something's gotta happen," Serena said.
"Didn't you have this talk with me a year or so ago?" Luna asked.
"Yep, and I was learning to live with it, but now..I've changed my mind," Serena said.
"Then I've got news for you?"
"What?"
"You're reminding me more of the old Serena every second," Luna said.
"Yippie," Serena said and immediately tripped over a vase and fell onto the ground.
"Oww! I mean yes!" Serena said and climbed back up, and started running down the street. "I've still got it!"
"Serena! That's not a good thing!" Luna said. "Think about this logically!"
"Logic has no place in my world!" Serena said.
"It's worse than I thought," Luna said.
"Oh..look, Serena's late again," Miss Haruna said.
"It's also one of the few times this century that four of the planets are in a certain alignment with each other Miss Haruna," Mike said.
The entire room turned and looked at him.
"That's quite correct Mike," Amy said. "How'd you come by this information?"
"Well..you'd think Greg told me, but that's not true," Mike said.
"Then just how did you learn it?" Miss Haruna said.
"I read it in a book Miss Haruna," Mike said.
"Why?" Miss Haruna asked.
"Just for a change of pace," Mike said.
Half the class sighed.
"Well.." Miss Haruna said.
Serena ran in the door.
"Sorry Miss Haruna, I overslept and my alarm clock didn't work," Serena said.
"I could have guessed that Serena," Haruna said.
"I know, but I felt like telling you," Serena said.
"Why?"
"Um..it's not important," Serena said.
"Do you all plan this, hoping I'll somehow have a break down and quit."
"Miss H, we don't want anything to happen to your car," Mike said.
"Detention Mike."
"And very justified I agree," Mike said.
"And I'll see you after school too Serena."
"I'll be there," Serena said happily.
Miss Haruna starred at her.
"This is odd behavior isn't it?" Haruka whispered to Michiru.
"Yes, very strange," Michiru said.
What's going on with Serena anyway? Amy, Mina, and Raye thought simultaneously.
Mike is in rare form. Something must be wrong with the tilt of the world's axis. Rick thought.
This is more abnormal than usual. Greg thought. I wonder if it has something
to do with the monster attacks.
That day at lunch.
"And then..Darrien will marry me and we'll live in a castle that he'll buy for us, I don't know how but he will.." Serena was saying.
"Knock it off meatball head," Raye said.
"Oh..was I thinking out loud again," Serena said.
"For the thirtieth time," Raye said.
"Ahh...but I'm so glad Darrien's my boyfriend..he loves me so much," Serena said.
"Serena..are you..hmm..forget euphenisms are you insane?"
"No I'm in perfect shape," Serena said
"She seems fine to me," Mike said.
"Mike, this is serious, Serena has lost her mind," Mina said.
"Did something happen that we don't know about?" Amy asked.
"You guys don't get it, but this is all part of my plan," Serena said.
"What plan?" everyone asked.
"Glad you asked!" Serena said with a smile.
"No..I've figured it out. She's high," Mike said.
The others nodded.
"I am not," Serena said. "You broke the mood, now.listen carefully.."
"I'm all ears," Mike said. "Uh..anyone want some of the ears, I mean...I have the extra and.."
"Mike.." Mina said.
"Okay..now..here's the plan..see..there was a time when me, Serena was the greatest hero on the planet.." Serena said.
"You could say that," Raye said.
"But then..things changed," Serena said. "And other people started showing up..not you girls..that was fine, you were just backup."
"We were more than that," Mina said.
"On several occasions," Raye said.
"You're right, you're right, I said it wrong," Serena said. "What I meant was that you guys helped a lot, but it was always me stepping in and nailing the bad guy."
"Usually," the Sailor Scouts said.
"I was also going on these wonderful adventures, meeting all sorts of people, you know," Serena said.
"Uh huh," The girls said.
"But that doesn't happen as much, it hardly happens at all," Serena said. "And I want to the glory days to come back."
"Serena, let me get his straight..you want to always be fighting the monster and getting scared stiff?" Raye asked.
"It all goes with meeting new people," Serena said.
"I thought you would have liked the break," Mina said.
"Yes, the fighting's more equally distributed," Amy said.
"It's okay, I don't mind," Serena said. "Oh it was wonderful, I'd be in trouble and then a rose would hit the ground and he would be there."
"The florist?" Mike asked.
Serena leveled Mike with an uppercut.
"Wow..that was one heck of a punch," Rick said and tended to Mike.
"Now...you see..I'm just living my life like I used to," Serena said. "I'm going to come over to your place Raye and read your comic books okay?"
"Not without my permission meatball head?"
"That's what I like to hear," Serena said and hugged Raye.
"Uh..Serena, please cut it out," Raye said blushing.
"Mina," Serena said letting go.
"Uh..yes Serena."
"As soon as Lita gets better, I want you to start arguing with her okay?"
"Uh..I'm not sure I should be an enabler here," Mina said.
"It's okay, you two are so good at it," Serena said.
"Amy..will you ace the next seventeen tests for me?"
"I was planning on doing that anyway," Amy said. Except biology she thought.
"Good, good, that's great, and don't hesitate to point out your great academic accomplishments," Serena said.
"But I thought you didn't want to hear them because they made you feel bad."
"No, no, be my guest," Serena said.
"Oh.." Amy said.
Serena disapeared under the table and popped up next to Greg.
"Hey," she said.
"Uh..what is it?" Greg asked.
"Word has it you want to date Amy?"
"Wha...I'm already...her.."
"I know, I know..but.I can hook you up," Serena said.
"Umm..Serena," Greg said.
"Wow..he's really been flattened," Rick said looking at Mike.
"Woah...that was a new experience," Mike said opening his eyes. "Though it wasn't all bad."
"What wasn't bad about it," Rick said.
"Hey, don't tell me you don't enjoy getting knocked out by a girl just a little bit fun."
"I really don't."
"Oh..that' s too bad Rick, guess you'll just have to get used to it then."
"What are you talking about?" Rick asked.
"Guys, don't fight," Serena said. "I'm sure there's an easy solution to this."
"Like what?" Rick asked.
"No idea, figure it out," Serena said and hopped back to her chair.
"Serena..I think we need to talk," Raye began.
The bell rang.
"Uh oh.class.." Serena said.
The others sighed.
"I still think she's high," Mike said.
"So do we," everyone else said.
That afternoon.
"Um..hello Haruka, Michiru," Raye said as she and Mina came upon up on the two enigmas.
"Oh..hello Raye, Mina," Michiru said pleasantly.
"Is there something we can do for you?" Haruka asked more bluntly.
"Um..well you have a car right?" Raye asked.
"Yes, we have two," Michiru said.
"Curious where'd you get them?" Mina asked.
"Mina never mind," Raye said. "Ahem...we were wondering if you can help us out."
"You need a ride somewhere?" Michiru asked.
"Uh yeah," Mina said.
"I can take you, Haruka is occupied," Michiru said.
"Yes, I am," Haruka said. "Good bye," she said and walked of.
"She's under a lot of stress," Michiru said. "Just where is it you need to go?"
"Tokyo University, we have to find Darrien," Raye said.
"This is about Serena isn't it?" Michiru asked.
The two nodded.
"Hmm..I was going to ask you about that..what's going on?" Michiru asked.
"We'll explain on the way," Mina said.
Amy hurried up.
"Were are you three headed?"
"Michiru's going to drive us over to the university, we're going to talk to Darrien," Raye said.
"Wanna come?" Mina said.
"No, you two can handle it," Amy said and walked off.
The three then headed off.
The first stop is the video arcade of course. Serena thought. Then I'll buy some donuts. Oh..and I can't forget getting a milkshake. It's all part of the plan. She walked inside the arcade.
"Hey Andrew," she said.
"Hello Serena, how are you?"
"Gorgeous," Serena said leering at him. "I mean..fine.fine..and are you okay?"
"Uh..yeah, you okay?"
"Sure Andrew, I'm fine," Serena said.
"Good to hear," Andrew said.
"Hey Serena,"Melvin said popping up behind her.
"MELVIN! Wow!" Serena said and hugged him.
"Wha.." Melvin said.
"I'm so glad to see you..do you have a bug to show me?"
"Um..no..I was just saying hello," Melvin said.
"That's fine," Serena said. "Well say something disgusting."
"Disgusting, you mean I should talk about how a mantis eats her mate..."
"Yeah. That's disgusting Melvin! Don't tell me things like that!" Serena shrieked. "Thanks."
"Wha.." Melvin said.
"It's okay..I'm just having fun..I appreciate it.
"If you say so," Melvin said.
About half an hour later Serena was walking along the street again.
Donuts were good. I liked the milkshake. Now what should I do? I know..see Darrien. He should be out by now. After all I did get a detention and all.
Suddenly there was a screech of tires. Serena turned to see a large green creature standing in the middle of the street.
"EVIL!" he shouted.
"Hey! A monster! Yes!" Serena said and ducked into an alley. She pulled off her brooch.
"Celestial Moon Power!"
She transformed and emerged from the alley.
"I am Sailor Moon! Champion of Justice. I shall right wrongs and triumph over evil. And that means you! Oh behalf of the moon I will punish you!"
"EVIL!" The creature shouted and lunged at her. She dived out of the way and skidded along the ground.
The creature stood there.
"EVIL!"
"Uh huh.. Moon Tiara Magic!" she shouted. The attack flew through the air and hit the creature. It then bounced off and embedded itself in a street lamp.
"Okay..next plan," Sailor Moon said as it advanced towards her.
A rose smashed into the ground. Sailor Moon looked up to see Tuxedo Mask standing on a stop light.
"Wherever there are beautiful girls in need of assistance, that's where I will be," Tuxedo Mask said.
"Oh I love you so much Tuxedo Mask!" Sailor Moon shouted.
"E...vil?" the creature said.
Tuxedo Mask leapt off the lamp post and hit the creature in the head with his staff and bunch of roses flew out from him and stuck into the creature as well.
"Jump kick time!" Sailor Moon said and ran forward, she jump kicked the creature in the head. It fell to the ground with a crash.
"Now Sailor Moon!" Tuxedo Mask said.
"Moon Crystal Healing Power!" she shouted. The creature was covered in white light, then it returned to the form of a man.
"Who's he?" Sailor Moon said.
"No idea," Tuxedo Mask said.
"That was odd," Sailor Moon said.
Tuxedo Mask walked over and pulled Sailor Moon's tiara out of the lamp post.
"Yours I believe," Tuxedo Mask said.
"Yes, thank you," Sailor Moon said.
"Uh...Sailor Moon, I was visited by some of your friends today. They're worried about you."
"But everything's fine...see..this is just how I wanted it," Sailor Moon said. "Sure I could have beaten him on my own..probably..maybe..but that's okay..because it was just like old times."
"Yes, see now I'm worried about that," Tuxedo Mask said.
CHAPTER 119 CHAPTER 120 CHAPTER 121 CHAPTER 122 CHAPTER 123
CHAPTER 124 CHAPTER 125 CHAPTER 126 CHAPTER 127 CHAPTER 128
CHAPTER 129 CHAPTER 130 CHAPTER 131 CHAPTER 132 CHAPTER 133