Where shall we start this all...I was born August 12th in a country town in South Australia, Australia and named Lisa. I was what some people would call an "unplanned" or "unwanted" child. It wasn't pretty. I know a few little stories I will resolve to keep out of the pages here. Sorry, but I'm not sure I could hold my head high in public view if you all new that the doctor and nurse that washed me when I was born got more than they bargained for!
Well back to the tails and journaling of Lisa. I was returned to my parents after they decided they would abandon me at birth, the police brought me back to them. It wasn't going to be easy, as I can look back upon it now, but life must go on, so they say. Getting returned, although they couldn't see it, was one of the worst things they could do, though the law believed it was for the best. So much did they believe this that it happened on several occasions. After a while of getting abandoned in hospitals, after getting abused, I am still here to live my life. I have suffered conditions that no one should.
From getting out of there when I turned 15, not really even knowing myself who I was, I lived on the street. Living in places like boxes, old buildings, in the parks, and under trees, busking, earning money for food, trying to do things to stay warm, I finally got my break by playing music. Slowly I saved more and more money and worked on getting a place to live. Afterwards, I had some of the people I had met on the street come round to help work on a life for them and give them some hot food now and then to show that I didn't forget them.
After a while things were fazing out around me. I started to get work and I really got on my feet working at life. Now, I have someone in my life and by the pages around this you shall see it is the most special and luckiest thing to ever happen to me in my life. Of all the things that could happen, I never expected this and still pinch myself sometimes to see if it is real.
If only she ever knew how she affects me. Calling me the names she does melts my heart to an instant, it holds me like glue. Even after we say goodbye in our chats, I sit there a few minutes knowing that this all feels so right and I stare at the words she has written for our goodbyes trying to be close to her and I know, I am. She warms me when I am cold; she holds me when I cry; even though she doesn't feel me, she is within my arms and love.
She may never know half the things she does to me, but she gives me life where no one else could ever have. She gives me life and feelings I could of never thought would be possible, giving me love and affection. If she only knew everynight I take a picture of her to bed with me and actually hold it at my heart and just keep her close. I know she will read this and smile and feel a little tear as those butterflies race around in her heart and tummy, making her feel queezy and in love even more.
Everyday, I wonder if it is the last knowing her love is so strong. All I know is that I won't let her out of my heart no matter how hard she beats it up. Baby when you read this, as I know you will, think that only happy times are ahead - that beach, the moonlight, is all we ever need even in the future of our life. The love you give binds me stronger each day. You are my light within the tunnels of darkness; you are the love beneath my wings; and most of all baby, I know that we will marry as your love is true to me. BABY take me now and forever as you're all I could ever be. |
