MY SEX LIFE
You're here coz I said I don't have a girlfriend. And went on to say that, in fact, I've never had one. And countered that all these not withstanding, I'm not a virgin. Then offered to tell you about my sex life. Well, here we are!
Actually, there's nothing much here. Just some stories. Most of the scandalous stuff is classified. Whatever that is here, however, is kinda explicit, the words i.e.. So if words like p***y, d**k, etc, offend you, take flight now.
When we were kids, as you once was, we used to engage in what, I've come to learn, child psychologists refer to as "children's sex games". In retrospect, some were games aaight. But some sure as hell weren't games; not in the sense the psychologists would seem to imply. Here's the story:
I recall very clearly how, as a small boy, we had this house help, who, this once I remember, showed me her pussy, spread her lips (not her oral lips!) and told me to "put it in".Don't ask to put what in.I was so young and naïve I didn't realize what was being offered at the time. And to make matters worse, I didn't know what goes where. I basically didn't know what sex (or anything thereof) was. I don't recall actually getting to put it in; I think maybe I didn't have an erection, or maybe mum called her and she abandoned her sexducation.
When I was five going to six, we moved to another town (actually we moved from upcountry to the town, called Thika). I quickly made new friends. By this time, I at least knew that something goes somewhere, and knew which was which, and who had what, and what mine was. I remember playing with my new-found-friends outside our house. There was me and two girls. Sisters. One about two to three years my senior, the other my age. The idea was for me to pull their skirts up, and if manage to move their panties and see their lil' ones, I'd get laid."Laid",actually. The elder one of course was too strong for me. The other one I could manage. But by the time I managed to see her goodies, she was raising such a ruckus I freaked out coz someone might come to see what was going on. We never got to have sex (or something similar). She was, however, my "girlfriend" for a while. At this age, nothing sexually significant emanated from these girlfriendships.
There also was these two other girls. Incidentally sisters too. Same ages as the others. The houses they lived in used to have communal washrooms (ours were self-contained). We were in these communal showerooms and decided to have some. I went with Diana*,the younger one, first. She was just like me, experience-wise, so we didn't do much; just put it in, and stay there. If there was any movement, it was accidental rather than intended to please. And we were standing. After a few minutes, she went out and Kate* ,the elder one, came in. She knew what she was doing. Like I said ,she was older and experienced. So we rocked, or rather she rocked me. And naturally I wanted to stay long coz, well, I was being rocked! So we stayed a coupla minutes longer, which in no small way pissed off Diana, so much so that, feeling cheated, she decided to tell on us. And off she ran, shouting "Ng'ash and Kate are 'doing bad manners' in the bathroom....." We tried, I tried to call her back, offering to give her as much dick she wanted, but she wasn't having any of it. It was too late; some kids heard her, and soon enough, all the kids new about the escapade. They didn't care she was in it too; she'd let them in on a secret, so she'd be put out of the equation. It was very embarrassing, since this sort of thing was supposed to be completely confidential. Fortunately, no adult got to hear about it, since then I would have been in really big trouble. I think that cliché of hell having no fury like a woman scorned starts way back in their lives.
There was another girl called Anne*,very very pretty. And kinda secluded from the rest of the kids. I think it had to do with her mum, she had this att. Our houses were back to back, so we shared the same 'backyard'. I didn't know she liked me. Then one day, we're at the back of the house, near the chimney, and when you're this young the corner where the chimney joins the house is large enough to hide you. We're talking, and soon we're kicking it. Again, no real sex. Just feeling the warmth between her legs and all. But it felt mighty good, especially considering she hardly hung out with anyone else. The boys I told about it got really jealous.
Back to Diana. Another time there was me, her and another boy. The boy was to keep watch. By then we'd become smarter. Not a whullatta, but still some. I told her that she had a 50cents coin in her pussy. By then, a fifty cents coin could buy 5 pieces of some candy we adored, so it was strong enough a motivation. I then told her, look, we can't use a finger to remove the 50 cents, we need something that won't hurt. I don't have to tell you what that something was. Life was good.Or maybe she knew what the deal was all the time,just playing along.
There also was this girl in school, Jane*,who I remember used to show me her lil' one from under her desk. Sometimes she'd want us to go kick it behind some huge ant-hill somewhere in the school playing field, but I found it too risky. Besides, I didn't fancy her all that, so nothing ever happened between me and Jane.All the times she showed me what she showed me,all I'd show her was a very small part of my foreskin(I wasn't ct yet),and I'd call it dick. And I had my eyes on another girl, Lucy*,who, on account of Jane, didn't think I was available. Lucy was very pretty too.
There must have been other similar incidents, but those are the main ones that I remember clearly. I'd even forgotten about the 50 cents thing, but I met the boy who was on watch two years ago and he told me about it. as we talked about ol' times and all. I nearly died laughing. I couldn't imagine I was that creative when I was that young.I wish I still had that "touch",coz ,you have to agree,that was some bit of genius.Fifty cents?.
When I was nine years old, moms went back to college to do a diploma in psychology and special education (She didn't finish the diploma. While there, she left and went to university to further her studies in music and literature). As a result, I had to move upcountry and stay with my granny. The girls there were mostly from poor peasant families, unkempt and all that, so my sexcapades came to a halt.
When I went to high school, which was a boys only boarding school, I got to meet some girls during school trips, drama and music festivals, sports tourneys and so on. We got to kick it with some, but nothing serious or special to deserve mention ever happened. Normal stuff, kissing, petting, fingers, bj's, things like that.
After high school, I stayed home for two years. I was again staying with my grandma. This time it was because my mom had passed away in the November before my senior high school year, and in Kenya, if you're going to a public university as a govt. sponsored student, there's an almost two year break between high school and college. I never got with anyone during this time.
By the time I got to college, I was 19 and my attitude and thought process had changed. I think I'd become serious. I however had this image about tons of sex in college. But when I got here, the tons never materialized. Somehow the relationship, and not mere sex, became important. And you can't fake a relationship, you can't fake an attraction. In all my college life, I've only been attracted to two girls. One had a bf at the time, and she was 'born again'. Funny enough, she now has another bf, and she drinks, so I suppose the born again part isn't there anymore. She was my classmate before we took different majors and kinda parted ways. We still see each other sometime. In fact, we're supposed to be going to see 'A Beautiful Mind' with her sometime. The other girl I've been attracted to, I found out the other day, has a boy too. And the boy is my classmate and buddy. So she's a no no too. I guess maybe Joe was right, all the good girls are always taken.
So now I'm 23 and single. I'm not pushing a relationship, it will happen in it's own good time. Like I'm fond of saying, you don't do things with, or to, or for a woman coz she's your woman; it's the things you do with, and to, and for a woman that make her your woman.
The first two sisters I mentioned are still around. I get to see them sometime. Incidentally, they're both born again.
Diana is still around too. I hear she became a nurse. I've never met her since our childhood days. I hear she's good-looking enough to want to have sex with(). I would love to meet her and reminisce( )
Her sister Kate got married. She has two kids.
Anne died in a road accident when she was about 12-13.Two of her elder sisters perished too. I hope she rests in peace. I wonder how she'd look like now, if she were still alive. I also wonder whether she'd fancy me. Or maybe she'd be born again too.
Jane is around too. I saw her once last year in Thika, but she was too far I couldn't talk to her. And who knows, maybe she doesn't remember me.
Lucy is no longer pretty. She became a snob. Maybe it has to do with the fact that she became pregnant and had a baby when she was about 20.I hear she doesn't like talking to the people she used to know, even those she's been with all along. But if I could, I would love to tell her that it's all good, that she's still a person, and her life is her life.
I've never met any of the girls I used to know in high school. Just one of them. Once. In a very busy street in Nairobi, and by the time I realized it was her, she was too far past and the human traffic was to large to move against.
That, I think, is what I'd call my sex life.
It sounds like a memoirs or something, doesn't it?
*All the names have been changed for privacy reasons. This is online, you know.
©2002.David Ng'ang'a Wanjiru.