Welcome Taffers
Greetings, and welcome to my webpage.  Since switching colleges I have decided to change many aspects of my page.......if I get around to it.  Last year while attending Stan's Discount Bait and Education (otherwise known as Chowan College) I began this webpage as an outlet for all my boredom induced visions.  I now attend UNC Greensboro.  The food is rather good here and the showers have water pressure.  Excellent.

Anyway, by now you're probably asking yourself "Self, what would possess someone of John's character to continually update and mantain such a laughable excuse of a webpage?"  Well, my young friend, I have two options at this point.  Either I continue this webpage
or I reveal myself as Gilgamesh reborn, smash your pitiful cities to dust, kidnap your women, and return the Eastern Euphrates Little League Baseball team to their rightful spot at the top of the game.

The following bands are better than Conway Twitty:
NOFX, Pennywise, The Ataris, Mad Caddies, Lagwagon, A New Found Glory, Strung Out, No Use For A Name, Good Riddance, Face to Face, Jimmie's Chicken Shack, Weezer, Bigwig, Rancid, Nerf Herder, Bouncing Souls, Less Than Jake, (old) Suicide Machines, Useless I.D. , MxPx, The Deviates, Op Ivy, THE VANDALS, AFI, No Motiv, Hi-Standard, Goldfinger, H2O, The Impossibles, Further Seems Forever, Dashboard Confessional, Thrice, RX Bandits,, and some selected works of Frank Zappa

Things I enjoy doing: Feeding fried chicken to live chickens (I  have actually done this, a must try for all college students in rural North Carolina), Tormenting small mammals, pointing out less than obvious facts about people, frying chicken heads at McDonalds...perhaps I've said too much, and writing up odd profiles in AIM.

The best TV shows in exsistence: The Simpsons, Family Guy, King of the Hill, Kids in the Hall, The Brak Show, Space Ghost, and anything on the History Channel.

The worst TV shows in exsistence: Any and all "Reality Shows," espcially the Real World, anything on the WB.

Interesting history note: on September 25, 1893, Whitcomb Judson invented the zipper.  On September 25, 2000, I squished a bug with my room mate's shoe.
Pol Pot took some bad first grade school pictures too, and nobody's laughing at him now, are they???
Email Me At:
Not original at all (Top Ten List)
Too small to read (Friends)
Badgers (Photos)
Star Trek ensign destined to die (Fun with Photoshop)
Updated February 24, 2003:  Well its been a good run but soon the time will come to retire Dwarfinvasion ver. 1.0.  Its time I come to my senses and use some of this education I've recieved and make a new website, a real one this time.  Thanks to Liyana for giving me the motivation to get off my lazy butt and do something about this webpage.  So why not show your appreciation and check out her blog?
All I ever did in AP Government (John's art)
Gabba gabba hey 
Mitch doesn't like it (History of America
Best idea I ever had (Project Boyband)
I'm mysterious (John Think)
Never updated (Quotes)
Another great idea never expanded upon (Christopher Walken page)
Oddly enough, I've been hearing more about Dee Snider than Christina Aqualung lately
As if you care (Links)
Where I got that Y chromosome (The Pete Page)
I am also mighty, watch me lift this bearded asian man single-handedly.
Fear me, I'm witty
You are number
to visit this hall of shame