I've never loved a girl like you
And I know that it's dangerous for me
Cause you've twisted and shaken me
To an extent I never thought possible
Maybe I should kill myself to escape the pain
And maybe the memories of misery are good
All I know is that it rips at everything inside
I die to breathe to live to hate to love my love
I say this world can take a new place
I want things my way
I hate myself
Take it
In the midst of all my dollars I'm so broke
As I cry deeply into my pillow just to choke
The memories I've sold out for a little bread
I cast myself upon the humble floor for dead
With my knowledge wanting to die away
I pray for another day to come without delay
But still I wipe away and I move on
Longing for the rising of the morning's Son
There used to be a pathway on this road
But now it seems I trip with every load
My journey isn't too hard this I do know
It's just now up to me to love and let go
Do the clouds have a destination
Or do they wander alone above?
When my heart mists and wanders;
Where can I remember the feeling?
My life seems so distant
And a window is grown black
All the time I become jaded
To the mysteries that I loved
An open eye is staring away
At the newness of a struggle
Where does it all end,
And where am I now?
It's over and over running through my mind
How we can transcend both space and time
Why are we stranded by this mystery
I don't know but mayhaps someday we'll see
I like to be involved where I'm clueless
I like to know nothing's going on
I'd rather be the biggest ignoramus
Than have a shekel of knowledge I've won
Maybe someday there won't be no answers
Then we'll all sing sweet harmonies
Because all the mysteries are unraveled
That will be better because we'll be free
Sometimes I feel like the earth has left me
And mountains they don't tremble at the word
But then I think of Jesus and the love He has for me
And I know that is the greatest joy that is here
When God speaks so softly, can we still hear His voice
When He asks us to go in faith, do we wait upon a sign
Do we dare to take the tasks at hand and leave it all behind
Or do we sit and wait and ignore grace and then take our own choice
I cannot explain the path that others they may choose to take
I only know what he has in store for my life as it is today
I must trust and obey and I must take Him for His word
He's the greatest miracle and He's my Saviour and my Lord
So now I sit and write and think and pray of the love He has for me
And I know that when He speaks to me it isn't as soft as it seemed
I'm growing day by day taking upon the newness of life He shows
And I love Him much more cause the love he gave me expands and flows
I have so much love to give
But that's not on what you live
So since you never realized my heart
It shouldn't surprise that we're apart
I guess life can be better without friends
Though I never picked the way to end
And I'll think about the memories behind
Thoughts of you will always cross my mind
If my life were like a giant wish
I'd hope for something more than just this
My heart screams at the pain within
Still I straighten neck and lift chin
Sometime I fly and touch the sky
And then I sink below to die
I'm lost and now I cannot be found
It's too late for me because I've drowned
My mind is no longer alive and fresh
I've departed and still I won't be missed
I've been tricked into living a lie
So now my only hope is to fly
Where do I turn now since my hope is gone?
Where do I go when there's nowhere to run?
I must find the place where time has begun.
But I can't because my life is done.
Wonderful piece of my savior
Who empties himself into me
I empty my wants and my worries
He is my king and my lord.
A love that endures forever
Though rain can so bitterly sweep
And tides come and crowd the surface
I His keep I will stand always
My passionate friend of my life
Who shares with me all of my days
The beauty; his vast dominion
I praise, I shout; Glory to His name.
My hope was all fading from you
Quicker than the hourglass it seemed
I never knew it would be this bad
I wish I had never dreamed
You barely came into my heart
Yet you quickly kicked me out
Of all my loves in a life like this
How could you even ever doubt
My tragic death; beyond compare
Like swimming an endless sea
Will one day captivate them all
your pain; you won't believe
I am in the wilderness; I raised up from the sea
I am the catastrophe; the one your parents feard you'd meet
But here I am standing and still you are here
I'm not that bad, am I? I can disappear.
Do I have normal friends or a real life
Is there a better way to end all my strife
No, there is nothing that I can do
Yes, there is something you can say too
Do what you want to me, I do not care
Hate me and laugh at me just please don't star
No, there is nothing I want for love in you
Yes, I love everything, to you I will be true
Do everything at all and nothing around
Kill every other one that lives in your town
No, I can't stand for this I am not alone
Yes, I will go on and live a life atoned
I can't take any more; I just don't have the strength
I have to stop hating me; that's just the way it has to be
So here I'll be waiting and you are still here
We can be great together; we can disappear