The information below and the information in the links is not a substitute for counselling. People who struggle with anger need to receive counselling from a qualified counsellor. Anger can be compared to getting air miles points. With air miles points, you get a certain number of points when you purchase things from specific stores. Each time you become angry, you get a few air miles points. Eventually, you have enough air miles points to take a trip. And you end up taking a trip deep into anger. When frustration builds up too high, a person can become verbally or physically explosive.

To prevent anger from building up, feelings of anger need to be addressed so they are not stored up for long periods of time. One way to reducing feelings of anger is to use assertive communication.

With assertive communication, the goal is not to be rude or pushy. God does not want His people to be rude and pushy. The goal of assertive communication is to resolve the problem that caused anger.

One formula for communicating assertively is to do the following:

1. Think of the problem. Name or explain the problem in a short sentence.
2. State how the problem makes you feel, using a specific emotion.
3. State how you would like the problem solved.

For more information on assertive communication, you may want to visit the following sites.

Assertive Communication. Popular California State University web page describes a number of assertive communication strategies.

Assertive Communication Handout. University of Iowa web site briefly discusses assertive communication, the importance of being assertive and techniques for assertiveness..

Managing Stress: Communication. Web site briefly discusses passive, aggressive and assertive communication and explains that assertive communication reduces stress. Methods of assertive communication and active listening are described.

For more information on anger management, click here. The web page describes an approach that can assist people with some causes of anger and links to other web sites that are about anger management.