The bard and the warrior continued to track Tapert and as they moved
quickly along, they crossed paths with Rich.
"We're looking for Tapert, have you seen him?" Xena asked.
"Yeah. He just ran by a little while ago. He seemed upset," said Rich,
pretending to be worried.
Colleen looked at the portly Survivor distrustfully.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Rich asked, deepening his look of
concern to throw the cuddly co-ed off.
"Which way did he go?" asked Gabrielle.
"He headed off between those trees over there," Rich pointed.
Xena narrowed her eyes. But even the warrior was unable to get past the
years of consultant-honed fake sincerity.
"I don't trust him," said Colleen. "He's always trying to manipulate
everything."
"Well, that's true…and you shouldn't trust me," said Rich. "But that's
honestly the direction he headed. Listen. I want you all off the island. And I figure Tapert's the key to getting you out of here. And with you gone, I can get back to winning Survivor."
"What makes you think you'll win?" frowned Colleen.
"Nice guys and gals finish last," smiled Rich patiently.
"Not always," grumbled Colleen.
"Xena, it's going to be impossible to find him if we don't keep moving,"
interrupted Gabrielle.
The three women headed off into the direction Rich had indicated. The
corpulent consultant had indeed been telling the truth.
"Have fun," the consultant chortled as the beautiful trio ran out of earshot. "You'll find Tapert when the Island Goddesses are ready for you to." Rich turned and headed toward the Survivor camp.
"Back off, chick," the spawn spat, leaping out of her grasp. It turned and
spied Rich trudging into camp.
"Daddy One!" it squealed in delight. Rich smiled and bent down, hugging
the baby.
Jenna burst into tears. "A family reunited," she cried. "That's so sweet."
"Well, we're not completely reunited," said Rich, oozing more fake sincerity to get Jenna to work with him. "We need to find Daddy Two, don't we, honey?"
"Baby Rich has twooo daddies," cooed Jenna.
"Where's Daddy Two?" sniffled the DemonRichSpawn. "Doesn't he love me?"
"Oh, honey, I'm sure he loves you," said Jenna. She turned to Rich. "He
needs his Daddy Two," she cried.
"Yes, he does, and we're going to go find him and be one, big happy family again," said Rich to Jenna. She nodded, tears streaming down her face.
Rich grasped Mini-Me's hand and began to walk away from camp.
"I think your Daddy's had juuussst enough time to get completely
hysterical. Let's go find him and push him over the edge, shall we?" said
Rich. "We've got a job to finish and I've got a contest to win."
Waving his pitchfork in the air, tail whipping back and forth like a cat, and
hooves making tiny indentations in the ground, the offspring of a love that definitely dare not speak its name…and Rich…headed into the jungle.
"Who knew that guy could move so fast," said a frustrated Xena.
"You would have thought we would have found him by following his
screams," said Gabrielle. "But I haven't heard a peep out of him for awhile now."
"Maybe the goddesses don't want you to find him yet," offered Colleen.
"Between you and me, I don't think they're quite finished torturing him.”
"Well, I'm finished having my chain yanked by these Island Goddesses,"
Xena said angrily.
The threesome heard a strange whirring noise in the distance accompanied by the murmuring of two deep voices.
Xena and Gabrielle crouched down, pulling Colleen down with them.
"I'm going to go check that out," whispered Xena. "Maybe it's something to do with the Island Goddessess."
"If it isn't, we're going to get that much further behind Tapert," noted
Gabrielle. "Let me go after him while you check that out. Then you can
catch up with me."
"I don't like splitting up, but I can't think of a better plan," said Xena. The
bard nodded and the dark warrior slipped into the jungle undergrowth.
Gabrielle began to move when she noticed the co-ed behind her.
"No, I don't want you following me. Go hide over there, just in case,"
whispered the bard, pointing to a nearby bush.
"I'm beginning to feel like first-season Gabrielle," sighed Colleen as she
took up reluctant residence in the green foliage.
Gabrielle stepped away from the co-ed and began to look around. Using her well-honed tracking knowledge, she could tell Tapert had already been through the clearing. She began looking for broken twigs and footprints to ascertain which direction he was headed. She found a path and began to follow it. Deeper into the undergrowth and further away from Xena and Colleen, the bard found a small swath of cloth. The blonde Amazon was checking it over for clues when a hand grabbed her shoulder from behind.
"I wonder when the Island Goddesses will show," said one of the men
loudly, glancing about.
The Warrior Princess smiled at the mention of the Island Goddesses. That
explained the floating chariot and these must be some of the goddesses'
lackeys! She exploded from the undergrowth, delivering her patented "I'm gonna kick your ass" warrior cry.
The men whirled to see a dark-haired, leggy, charging warrior running
directly at them. Their eyes widened in terror. One of the uniformed men
finally found the presence of mind to grab for the controls of the hovercraft, but his fear made his hands clumsy and he found himself flailing about going nowhere.
"Get us out of here!" screamed the other man, unable to pry his eyes off
the frighteningly beautiful warrior running his way.
Just as Xena came upon the chariot, the first man managed to find
Forward and spun away from her.
Xena began chasing the hovercraft, determined to get the men and certain they knew something of the Island Goddesses. The warrior put on a sudden burst of speed. She somersaulted into the air, defying all laws of gravity and physics, and landed on the hovercraft between the extremely surprised men.
"It takes a lot more than a speeding chariot to get rid of me, boys," smiled Xena.
The warrior then snarled, grabbing one of the men by his collar and flinging him off the machine. She looked ahead to see that she and the remaining guard were on a collision course with a giant tree. Grabbing hold of the second man, the warrior leapt from the hovercraft a split second before it crashed into the tree.
The Warrior Princess and the guard rolled a few feet. Xena leapt up off the ground. The guard looked groggily about just as the warrior punched his neck. He began to gulp for breath.
"You'll be dea…" began Xena.
"We were sent to make sure you were kept away from Gabrielle for a few
minutes," the man gasped out in a frantic rush.
"You said something about the Island Goddesses back there," continued
Xena.
"We were told to do that so you would follow us. It was…" -gasp- "a trick.
Burnett didn't think he could handle you and the blonde together," the man explained.
With a deep, throaty growl, Xena quickly released the neck pinch and then punched the man in the face, knocking him unconscious.
"Gabrielle," she whispered and began running.
