| December 16: Yes, I won't be driving to Maryland. Hopefully I can drive back, if Dad and company can drive my car out during the summer sometime. I would love to be able to explore the sites of the East Coast while I'm so close. Can I tell you how much I'm looking forward to this Americorps thing? I can't wait. I know that it's going to be difficult and trying and ass-kicking. But that just makes me itch even more to get out there and prove my mettle. I can do it. I'm up to the challenge. Finished my first week at my new job, training. This week it will be for real. Eek, I always feel unsure of myself in new places for a bit. I hope it goes okay. I've met some neat people. I'm told I did well and learned quickly. We'll see. Today I had my first experience with home leg-waxing. It was interesting. Not what I thought. It was messy and awkward. It certainly hurt, but it wasn't the mind-blowing pain one hears about. Rather, it's a grit-your-teeth-and-just-get-it-done-with sort of pain. Like if men had to do it, they'd be clenching nails betwixt their teeth and grunting loudly. Actually, I grunted. In an attempt to transfer some of the energy from the pulling and the pain, like the noise-making distracts or surprises the nerve endings, so that instead of, "Yow!" they turn their little nerve endings and say, "Hey, what was that?" It certainly took a lot of grit to pull the damn things off. Talk about steeling oneself. Man. I didn't know I could do something like that. I should say, though, that I only did a little bit. Maybe five on each leg. I figure that's a plenty good start, for my first time. Right? |
| Perhaps the third one is the charm. Maybe? |
| Happy Boxing Day! Yes, it's the Day After Christmas. It was only a few months ago that I actually found out what Boxing Day actually is. Interesting. My mom left for Spain today. Have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do. Tee hee. Oh, by the way, in case anyone was curious (what a joke, since that would require anyone reading this nonsense!), the next day I tried to finish the waxing. It didn't hurt as much, perhaps because I knew what to expect. Either way, it was still uncomfortable, but it's not like leg nerves are that sensitive. Right? So Christmas sucks. I was in a crappy mood (as I was last year, if i recall), and I was astonishingly tired. At the family dinner on Christmas Eve, I felt soberly intoxicated. Meaning, I had to concentrate on enunciating words and it took a large amount of energy to stand up, also not to fall over or run into things while standing. It was terrible. I can't wait to be on my own for the holidays, to be depressed without having to report to family or whatnot. (Dude, I hate people that say "whatnot.") Christmas morning, we awoke to a breathtaking sunrise, brilliant blue sky, a beautiful vista of the snow-capped Mt Rainier and surrounding foothills. That part wasn't so bad. I wouldn't have minded snow, but sunshine was the next best thing. The job is going pretty well. I'm still not entirely sure of myself, but I can tell I'm improving. That's all anyone can ask of me, right? Yup. Plus, there are boys. Some of whom are actually cute. Woohoo! That makes work ever so much more fun and interesting. In general, the folks there seem pretty genial. Haven't met any kindred spirits just yet, but that's not really expected anymore. This weekend there was a fun, all-night soiree to celebrate the graduations of two friends. Congratulations! And it was fun. Even if I still haven't recovered from the lack of sleep, I had a good time. Many games were played. We stayed up way too late. Just like the old days. :) |
| Only a few short days until the New Year. Very odd, I feel like this year has just sped by. A lot of things have happened. My life has seen some new and interesting things happen or change. Here is what I have done in the past six months: graduated from college, traveled around three new countries, fell in love with Greece and Italy, bought a new car, finally quit Starbucks, drove down the West Coast alone, moved to Los Angeles, where I sought work, saw famous people, and secured a brief but educational internship, moved home, found new jobs, not once but twice, and had a crappy-ass 22nd birthday. Whew! Quite impressive. I really must remember this when I feel depressed at my life's aimlessness and lack of exciting stuff. Yesterday I watched the movie "crazy/beautiful." It was amazing. Understated but meaningful. The direction, script, cinematography all came together to make an incredible film. Movies are so cool. I can't wait to move back to LA and learn more about the whole process. I think I would be a good set dresser. It would put to great use my attention to detail and obtuseness. And I want to perform, but I don't know that movies or tv would be my ideal thing. I would love to get in a theatre class and do some plays and just have fun. That would be so wonderful. Anyway. Earlier last week, two friends and I went to the Seattle Art Museum for the exhibition of Annie Leibovitz' latest project, called "Women." It was incredible. The photographs were stunning and thought-provoking. I loved the way she put the exhibition together, contrasting images. For instance, at one spot, on the left were two stark, black-and-white close-ups of battered women, and on the right was a photo of three middle-aged Texan socialites, looking so self-important and disdainful. It was a powerful juxtaposition, one example of the division of labor and power in our country. |
| Happy New Year! Did you have a nice one? Mine wasn't bad, actually. I had fun. I worked a double shift yesterday, and had to work today also. It was sort of funny, everybody had a story about their evening. We were all feeling out of sorts, some more than others. I just generally felt like crap. This afternoon I had a nice nap. Quite a relief. So. It's been raining since afternoon, and windy too. Though I don't love being in the rain, I like the sound of the drops on the roof and the wind through the trees. It's soothing, somehow. That's one of the things I miss most about Bellingham, they have wonderful windstorms there, being right on the water. My old dorm was surrounded by trees, and the sounds of the raging winds was like a release. Ah, the good old days. It is so weird that it's a new year, and that it's 2002. It sounds funny, you know? I wonder what is in store, for the world, for little me? This time last year seems eons ago. I hope there are some interesting things, at least. January is a weird month, it is so bleak and plain in my head. I hate not knowing what's ahead for me, too. Just impatient, I suppose. I have declared a temporary ban on trips to the library. Somehow, I have ended up with a growing pile of new, non-library books that I need to read. Since for some reason I haven't been able to read more than one book at a time, I'm determined to make a dent in my pile. But there's so much good stuff! There's one about Paris, there's the new one by Stephen King, and even the old feminist classic, Backlash. I look forward to reading it all. What is it with self-esteem? More specifically, my lack of it? Is it normal, does everyone despair at every glance in the mirror? Yesterday, while gussying up for the goings-on, I felt so depressingly resigned to look like shit. It was awful. Lately those kinds of thoughts haven't been too loud in my head, but they're rearing back into gear right quick. And it sucks. I feel like there's no reason to even try, since it doesn't make a difference, and it's not like there's anyone to impress. If people aren't dazzled by my razor-sharp wit, then to hell with them, right? Ha. Right. |