"Ja," he said softly, looking up at me. "Sorry. I had sleepvalking problems as a child." He looked away agian, his eyes swimming in memories. I got the impression from him that he wanted someone ter confide in, so I sat down next ter him. Not too close, but close enough if he wanted a shoulder ter cry on.
*Why? What causes it?* He shrugged a casual shrug, making it look graceful.
"Stress. Anxiety. I vas told I vould grow out of it eventually. But now...." He trailed off, going back ter his memories. I could understand how he would have stress and anxiety growing up as a kid, lookin the way he does. "I don't understand vhy it's happening again." With those words, at that very moment, I decided ter be very brave.
*Do you wanner...talk...about anythin'?* He chuckled softly and I felt a flash of hot anger. Damn him, I was trying ter help him and he was laughing at me. I stood. *Well, if yer don' mind, I'd like ter get back ter sleep.* The bitterness in my voice was sharp enough ter cut. He looked utterly surprised and a little hurt.
"I just didn't think you vould vant to be kept up all night listening to my self-pity stories. I meant not to upset you." I felt like the biggest arse in the world right then. Should I apologize? The most I could do was make light of it.
*Eh, well, I can't sleep anyway, and besides, if anyone can handle self-pity stories, it's me.* I tried ter keep the embarrassment out of my voice and sat back down beside him. He looked at me then, really studying me, and I saw his eyes drift down ter my bandages. I fought the urge ter be angry again and look away.
"Ja," he whispered, nodding. "Ja." There was a momentary pause, then, "Vhy do you hide from everyone?" The question caught me off-guard.
*Uh, hide?* He nodded.
"Ja. You are so closed off from everyone. Vhy?" My nostrils flared in anger, and there was no stopping what came outter me mouth.
*Well, if yer face and chest blew up, yer'd be the same way! Never able ter smile or talk with yer own voice again!* I didn't mean fer it ter come out sounding as rough as it did, honest, but I couldn't do anything now. My short fuse was really gonner get me in trouble one day. To my complete surprise, he smiled a mournful smile.
"You and I have a lot in common. Ve bot' hate our physical appearance. You vear a mask of loneliness, and I...I have my own mask of friendliness. I have spent my whole life trying not to be what people see. Zey see me and zey run." He shook his head, looking down. "Zey do not stop to see ze real person..."
What a beautiful person yer are, I wanted ter say. But being the no-self-esteem tosser I am, I kept me mouth shut. I refused ter make a fool out of meself in front of this beautifully gentle, yet haunted man.
Wagner stood abruptly, startling me. "I should get back to bed," he mumbled, and started fer the door. I couldn't help the wave of disappointment that washed over me. He stopped at the door and turned ter look at me. "I appreciate you listening, Jonothon."
*Jono,* I blurted.
"Vhat?"
*Jono. Call me Jono or Chamber. Just not Jonothon.* He nodded and turned ter leave. Meanwhile, I was mentally slapping myself. Why couldn't I have said, "Yeah, I enjoyed listening. Come back anytime"? I was such a bloody idiot!
*Kurt, wait,* I said before he shut the door. He peeked back in, looking expectant. *If yer need ter-or want ter-talk more, yer welcome anytime.* There, I said it. He smiled, flashing fangs, and I sooo wanted ter jump him right there. Compose yerself, Jono.
"I might take you up on that offer. Danke schon. Gut Nacht, Jono." I about melted when he said my name with his accent, but I just nodded and watched as he closed my door.
When he was gone, I sighed wistfully and climbed back inter bed. I felt better than I had in days, and soon I fell inter a deep, dreamless sleep.