*Consider it done. But, uh, ter be honest, yer seemed kinder listless, so I don't think I'll have ter restrain yer.* It was my turn to give a small laugh. We sat in silence for a bit after that, my mind racing. I did not want to go. I had to think of something to talk about before he kicked me out. Surprisingly, he spoke first. *Would yer like ter stay fer a while and talk?* he asked. *Yer don't have ter, mind yer,* he added quickly.
"I vould love to stay." And stay I did.
We talked. And talked. And talked. About my years at the circus. About his years before and during his time at the Acadmey. About anything that just happened to come up. We talked ourselves hoarse--well, I did, anyway, since Jono can't really get hoarse anymore. When I looked at the alarm clock on his night stand, it was nearly two in the morning.
"Mein Gott!" I said, standing. "Look at ze time!" He did and shrugged.
*Yeah....* He stood with me. *Yer gonner leave?* I yawned and stretched stiff limbs, then nodded sheeplishly.
"Ja, I should. I have training tomorrow." He groaned. "Vit' Scott." He groaned louder.
*Better you than me, mate." We both laughed. *I really had fun with yer, Kurt. It was nice ter...talk ter someone again.* He reached out and embraced me, his thin arms wrapping around me like a warm blanket. It unraveled me. Something inside me let loose. I pulled back from him and his eyes were full of need and wanting, matching my own. He lifted a hand to my face and caressed my cheek softly, then moved it down to the hollow of my neck. Every touch was like fire, igniting sparks all over my body. He bent down and nuzzled my neck softly. I pulled him closer to me and lifted his face to kiss his cheek. His back kneaded my back gently. He sighed quietly in my head. *Kurt...* His voice brought me back to reality, and guilt suddenly tore through me, extinguishing everything he'd started. I pushed him away.
"Nein. I can't...I can't..." His eyes filled with hurt and disappointment. I turned and went for the door, not wanting to see it.
*I'm...sorry. I thought...* I shook my head and left him there. God forgive me, it was the most cowardly thing I had ever done.