KFC Fanfic: Friday: Raiha's Session by Bottou-chan Her Page

Kurei gazed steadily across the table. "Well?" he asked, holding his hand out expectantly.

Rei sighed and counted out $200. "Stupid railroads," she grumbled, scooping up the dice and tossing them again. "Two, three, four, five, six..." she counted out the spaces. "Who owns St. James?"

"That would be me," said Jia Xian. "Four houses-- that's $750."

Rei sighed elaborately and peeled off more bills from her stash of fake money. "I don't need to rent four houses at once," she grumbled.

"If you want to be in the Uruha, you have to be good," reprimanded Neon, standing behind Kurei with her arms draped around his shoulders and her chin resting on top of his head. "We have game nights-- it's no fun if you're a party pooper."

Rei glanced longingly at her katana, lying abandoned in the corner.

"It's a rule that no weapons are to be brought into the game room," explained Bottou-chan, her elbows propped on the table and her chin resting in her hands. "Things got a bit messy one night during a game of Parcheesi-- and the rule has stood ever since then."

"I didn't think the Uruha had a gaming team," explained Rei, passing the dice to Kurei. She had only relinquished her katana because of his direct request. "I just want to work for Kurei-sama. I don't want to spend every other Thursday night playing board games. How wimpy."

Kurei rolled the dice and moved his piece, the little hat, five squares. "Marvin Gardens. I own it."

"Genjuro was never much for game nights, either," reminisced Neon. "And look where he is now."

"The seventh level of hell?" Jia Xian hazarded a guess.

"Oi, are you guys roleplaying?" asked Joker, popping into the room. "Ah-- Monopoly."

"How's it going down there?" Bottou-chan asked him. "Sorry I missed your session... Jia Xian and Kurei and I had some business to discuss. I'll try and catch up with it on the tapes."

"It went well," said Joker agreeably, leaning on the back of Bottou-chan's chair. "Hey, you've got Connecticut, Vermont, and Oriental. My favorites."

"Mine, too," agreed Bottou-chan. "I like to get people's 'Go' money right after they pass."

"Such small fish," said Neon scornfully. "Now, Boardwalk and Park Place is where it's at. You can get $2000 if someone lands on Boardwalk with a hotel there."

"Ah, but it's so expensive to build up," objected Joker, dragging a chair and seating himself between Rei and Bottou-chan. "Not to mention, the probability of someone landing on either of those properties is minimal, compared to--"

"Joker, you talk too much," said Kurei emotionlessly. "Who's turn is it?"

"Mine, now," said Bottou-chan. "I think I'll buy some houses... is Raiha starting his session soon?"

Joker nodded. "He was just beginning his talk when I left. I was feeling too good-natured to heckle."

"How abnormal," murmured Kurei, his bracelets clinking together softly as he sorted through his properties.

"Now, the first thing one must remember is that one is aiming for mysteriousness, intrigue-- but not invisibility. Secondly, it's a good idea to attach yourself to a main character. Be there to support him. Optimize your screen time. It's not good to merely exist on the screen, you have to come alive and steal it, even though you're only extra furniture, as far as the producers are concerned. A good pose, or optimizing on a witty line is a good idea. A heart-melting smile is another good thing to have in your repertoire. Practice in the mirror, frequently, and be sure to drink lots of milk for strong bones and good teeth. Be pleasant, but have some sort of suggestive aura about you... like there's more to you than meets the eye." He glanced around at his intently listening audience. "Any questions yet?"

Julia's hand shot into the air. "Could you show us your repertoire of heart-melting smiles?" she asked hopefully.

Raiha grinned at her heart-warmingly, and hearts throughout the room were warmed. "That's one." He changed his smile a bit, and made his eyes crinkle at the corners. Lynn-chan and Natsumi-chan swooned. "This is another good one." Lynn-chan and Natsumi-chan opened their eyes to be able to admire the third smile, a charming smile with a suggestively raised eyebrow. They shut their eyes again and resumed their swoon.

Kid-O raised her hand from the back of the room. "None of us are bishonen guys," she said. "Why don't you just skip the rest of your lecture and tell us stories about you?"

"Yeah, you're so mysterious," agreed Ailin enthusiastically. "Why don't you tell us a good story about Kurei or Neon or Joker or someone."

"The other night, Joker and I were on the computer, and decided to write a fic about Neon," said Raiha.

Koichi shook her head and brushed her green hair back. "We know that story... tell us one that hasn't been on any of the mailing lists."

Raiha looked suspicious. "How'd you guys find out about that?"

Silence greeted him.

Raiha shrugged his shoulders elegantly. "Ah, well. It seems like someone has a big mouth then." He grinned secretly to himself. "Ah, well, then how about this. One time, Joker went out and bought a whole bag of Oreos... he disassembled them, licked the cream off, and then reassembled them with toothpaste in the center. Wow, was he in trouble for a while after that!"

Mayumi laughed. "Have you ever pulled a prank?" she inquired.

Raiha blushed. "Last April Fool's Day, Joker and I went to a department store. See, most escalators work with the same key, and it wasn't much of a problem to obtain a set. We went to the third floor, and when no one was looking, I managed to use my key to open up the little door and flip the switch, so that the "up" escalator was going "down". So now, there were two escalators going "down" and no escalators going "up" and it was pretty chaotic there for a while."

BabySilve grinned. "Have you and Neon ever done anything crazy?"

Raiha shook his head. "She's not like that... she takes herself very seriously. Although I do remember one time she went into Joker's room and switched his dresser drawers around... but it's so mild, it doesn't really count as being mischevious."

Shuusai sat perched on the edge of the table, where her recording instruments were kept. "Have you ever written anything yourself? Like fanfics? Or do you draw?"

Raiha shook his head. "I'm not very good at telling a story in a straight line," he explained. "And even if I did," he added, with an impish grin, "I wouldn't tell you guys and blow my cover, ne?"

Several more hearts were warmed at the sight of his impish grin.

Ailin waved her hand in the air. "You're so loyal to Kurei," she said. "Why do you keep at it? Don't you ever feel guilty or anything about the people you've killed."

Raiha quirked an eyebrow. "You can't kill someone and not be affected by it," he explained slowly, his voice very soft. "But you must also remember that these aren't children's games we're playing." A smile fluttered over his lips, remembering the last Game Night-- they'd played 'Dirty Minds'. "Most people who get involved with Kurei-sama know exactly what they're getting themselves into. But they're overconfident. They think they can bend the rules, break the rules, change the rules to suit themselves-- and not have to deal with the consequences. I'm not a mere assassin for Kurei, but I do have to deal with such things. It can be rather unpleasant at times, but I do it for Kurei-sama's sake."

April-chan, seated on the first row, raised her hand. Blushing, she asked, "Er, Raiha? After this session is over with, could I get you to autograph this photo I have of you?"

Raiha glanced at it. His eyes widened slightly. It was a picture of himself in his swimsuit, about to step into the hot tub.

"Err... sure," he agreed. "By the way, where did you get such a picture?"

"It was posted on the net?" April-chan asked uncomfortably.

Raiha raised an eyebrow. "It's a picture from last night," he said pointedly.

"Ah... go figure!" laughed Natsumi uncomfortably. "Amazing how fast this stuff can spread, ne? And by the way... I've got a copy, too, that I'd like you to autograph?"

There was a chorus of "me, too's!" and Raiha sweatdropped. "Autograph session at the end of the questions," he proclaimed, and a cheer rippled through the crowd.

Ashley (aka whatever) raised her hand. "Your love life!" she exclaimed, and several ears perked up. "I know you've got a miko-- and a hime-- and a koitoba-- and dozens of other fangirls after you-- and Fuuko-- but where do your interests actually lie?"

Dozens of pairs of eager, questioning eyes bored into him.

"Err..." Raiha blushed. "True, I'm very interested in Fuuko, but she's a bit young for me, and needs more experience dealing with relationships before we could actually have anything serious--"

"Who's a bit young for you?" inquired an acidic voice. A purple-haired girl sitting in the back, next to Fuuko no Miko, lifted her head. Her face had been obscured earlier by a baseball cap; but there was no mistaking Fuuko now.

"Ah, Fuuko-san!" said Raiha brightly. "I wasn't expecting to see you here!"

"Obviously," she commented dryly. "We can talk after the session."

Raiha pasted a smile on his face. "Next question?"

Ashley persisted. "Why do you always wear your ninja outfit?"

"It's comfy," Raiha answered, spinning around. "Besides, I think it looks good on me. You don't disagree, do you?" He rewarded her with a special smile, and Ashley's eyes went into wobble-mode.

A gritting noise could be heard from the back of the room.

Nekomi crunched on her pocky. "Why do you and Fuuko both have purple hair?"

"It depends on the lighting," explained Raiha. "See, sometimes, my hair is purple, like it is now. But other times it looks black or even brown. So it really depends on where I am at the time."

Mayumi raised her hand in the air. "Isn't it uncomfortable, carrying your sword around all the time?" she inquired.

"I don't notice it so much when I'm standing, but it does get in the way when I try and sit down," admitted Raiha. "I get strange looks when I go to the movie theater or other public places. But I've gotten used to it, and learned to adapt. When I'm asked to remove my sword, I simply explain that I'm a ninja, and that's that. There's not much they can argue with me."

Nekomi asked, "So, how long have you been with Kurei; how long do you plan on staying; and what made you go to him in the first place?"

Raiha smiled. "That's top-secret information, the first and last parts. The answer to the middle part that I plan on staying with him for as long as he needs me. Although Kurei-sama is quite strong, he needs the support of others. I try to lend him my strength."

"You can tell us!" said Nekomi encouragingly, crunching on her pocky stick. "We won't tell anyone... we promise."

"Well, then," replied Raiha, with laughter in his eyes. "I'll give you a hint. I was reading the 'classified ads' section in the paper, and there was a notice that read: GUY WITH BLUE FLAME SEEKING NINJA TYPE FOR FUN AND ADVENTURE."

Koichi cleared her throat. "Hypothetically speaking," she asked, "If Kurei and Fuuko were both caught my Mori Kouran, and they were both going to be killed at the same time, and you could just save one, who would you pick?"

Raiha sweatdropped again. "And my choices are...?"

"You could save Kurei; you could save Fuuko; you could save neither; or you could let the other Uruha members save Kurei and leave Fuuko to die," answered Koichi, smiling brightly.

She was whapped on the head with a certain squash racquet.

"Don't be rude," reprimanded Saturn.

"Err... well, seeing how Kurei-sama and Fuuko-san are both very strong, capable people, this would never become an actual scenario. However, I believe that if such a happenstance ever occurred, I would finally take that as a cue to unleash the amazing power of my Raijin."

"Is it true what Joker said, about it being a pathetic and weak weapon, which is why you never use it?" asked Julia brightly.

A tiny vein flickered in the corner of Raiha's forehead. "Absolutely no truth at all to that statement," he proclaimed confidently.

"Then show it to us!" replied Julia triumphantly.

"I can say that the Raijin is a fabulously complex and powerful weapon. I don't use it because it would be going overboard. Why should I waste the extent of my powers on something I could easily deal with using my sword? I wouldn't feel right about it. It would be like using an anvil to squash an ant." Raiha spread his hands innocently. "Using an elemental weapon isn't like showing off a new card trick. There's a time and a place, and it's not the proper time yet."

"Would you kiss Fuuko in public?" asked Ashley curiously.

Raiha laughed. "You're asking the wrong question and the wrong person. The correct way to do it is to ask Fuuko, 'Would you let Raiha kiss you in public without doing bodily harm to him in response?'"

Fuuko blushed and sat on her hands.

"I say this is a good stopping point for the questions and answers," suggested Raiha. "How about we take care of those autograph requests and then we can finish up today's lecture series with Kurei-sama's discussion? If you could form a line, perhaps that might speed things up a bit..."

There was a knock on the door, and a head poked in. "Is this the Origami Afficionado Meeting?" came a soft, gentle voice.

"Saicho!" exclaimed Ashley joyfully. "Come in, come in! No, it's not, but I need your autograph, too!"

Saicho was ushered in by Shuusai and BabySilve, who each took and arm and propelled him to stand by Raiha.

"Stand there, and I can take pictures of you two," said Natsumi, snapping away. Okane, she thought, grinning fiendishly.

"See, here's a perfect example of what I was talking about," said Raiha, as Natsumi took pictures of the two handsome, mysterious bishonen standing together. "See, Saicho-san has mystery and intrigue to him, yet he's quite prominent, even though he only played a minor part in the whole scheme of things. He attached himself to Kukai-dono, who was slightly more visible and slightly more powerful than himself. He was there to support Kukai-dono, and yet Saicho-san was the one who everyone noticed in their scenes. Saicho has good poses-- see, this one right here-- fangirls go for that kind of thing," Raiha said, nodding his approval at Saicho's current pose. "Not to mention, he has a terrific smile. Saicho-san, do you drink milk?"

"Lots of it," said Saicho solemnly. "It gives me strong bones and healthy teeth."

"Always important," agreed Raiha. "And Saicho has a good aura around him... not only does he incorporate it into his attacks, but you can just feel it in his presence, that there's more to him than meets the eye."

Natsumi ran out of film.

"I'll get these developed tonight," she promised Saicho. "Come back later, and I'll give you a photo."

"Arigatou," he answered politely. "But I must be going on my way. I need to find my Origami convention..."

"It's on the 32nd floor," said Ashley, handing her Raiha picture to Lynn-chan. "Could you see that it gets autographed for me, with my name written on it as a dedication? I'm going to walk Saicho to his convention."

"You don't need to-- really," explained Saicho, but she would have none of it.

"Come along," she said firmly. "I've got some questions I want to ask you."

Raiha smiled. "Where would the mystery and intrigue be if there wasn't the wondering, the tension, the denial?"

"True," agreed Fuuko reluctantly. "Still, it was pretty crummy of you..." She wrapped his arms around her waist, and stood leaning comfortably against him.

"You have to understand that one of the important things about being in our situation... sometimes perception is more important than truth," said Raiha, nestling his face in her hair. "And not everyone has the right to know everything about everyone else."

"So what are you trying to say?" murmured Fuuko.

Raiha turned her around and grinned at her. "It means that since everyone's listening to Kurei-sama, we can probably get the jacuzzi in the Uruha's suite to ourselves."

Fuuko giggled. "Sounds like fun," she said, and they took hands and hurried away.

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