Teen Pregnancy Information Center

Related Articles:
Pregnancy Complications
Think You're Pregnant? "Morning" Sickness
Statistics
Teen Pregnancy Prevention
My Pregnancy Journal
Dealing With Fear

My Message for Stacy

A friend’s sister is giving birth today. I’ll call her Stacy. As I write this, Stacy is in the hospital and her contractions are 3 minutes apart.

She is only 16.

I don’t know her, I only know her sister. So I can only imagine what she is like and how she might be feeling. All I can think is that she must be scared.

There is this new life coming into the world today. A child that does not know where she comes from or who her mother is. She will not come out and see Stacy and think to herself “My, she is awfully young!”. She does not know or care nor will she for quite some time – if ever.

Stacy knows, though. She has most likely seen the looks. Those disapproving looks often full of pity. What a sad thing. It’s too bad for the baby. She’ll never be able to get anywhere. She’s ruined her life.

She has most likely felt a numbing fear - a feeling inside that tells her she won’t be able to make it. My life is ruined. What am I going to do? I can’t do this!

I know that I did. I know many young women do. If I could, I would hug her and tell her that those feelings, those voices, those sometimes well-intended but always hurtful comments are not true.

She will see her friends and girls her age move with increasing freedom while she is restricted with thoughts of a babysitter and childcare. Things will seem easier for the next person. The grass will looks much greener on the other side of the fence. It doesn’t take long to realize that the pattern of life has, for a teen mom, changed dramatically.

But I pray she will also see that it is not inferior! Because the moment you believe it is, is that same moment when you make it be just that – a ruined life. It is not going to be easy. I wish we had all waited because it is so much harder. The experience and maturity is just not there. But experience can be gained and maturity grows with time, experience, and patience.

If you are battling these same things, just take a step back into a broader perspective. A dear friend once told me that as she has gotten older she has learned to look at problems differently. She just asks the question “Is this a life or death issue?” and when she sees it is not, suddenly things become so much easier to deal with. She is 84 years old and a veteran of life with all it's joys and disappointments.

My advice would always be to keep that perspective. Life is an adventure! Or a sculpture, and no two people's will look the same - they're not supposed to! If yours twists where someone else's is straight, just realize that it's another part of what makes you into someone worth knowing.

Update: Mother and baby are doing just fine. : )