| How to Drive Like a Moron and Other Driving Rules |
| This is a funny list of things you can do to annoy other drivers; I got these from here and here. Enjoy! ***NOTE***I'm going to be driving in a couple of years, and I beg you to just have fun reading this list and never try any of these! |
| Use the top of your car to transport cargo and make sure everything is loosely tied, if tied at all. Feel free to give other drivers the middle finger at will. If they do it back, wait until you get to the next red light, get out of your car and beat them up. If you have a car phone, use it as much as possible and pay no attention to the road. If you have noone to call, hold the phone up to your ear and pretend. When waiting in line at a drive-through bank, wait until you are at the window before filling out the forms. Keep your brake light blinking by keeping one foot at the brake pedal at all times. Throw soda cans and food wrappers out the window when driving on highways. If you get lost, the best place to stop and get directions is at a green light. Try to ask directions from either a 90 year old local, a deaf person, an illegal alien, or a child. To obtain a general idea of how to drive, go to a Celtics game and carefully watch the fast break. Then get behind the wheel of your car and practice it. When in doubt, accelerate. Teenage drivers believe they are immortal. Don't yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise. Never stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Speed limits are arbitrary figures only posted to make you feel guilty. When driving in any type of nasty weather, disregard all traffic lines painted on the road. Above all, keep moving. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? E-mail me at moominsummer@yahoo.com ! |
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