Warning: Character deaths. Blood play, allusions of rape. Torture. Erm...yeah. NC-17, I guess.

Summary: The side of dark makes another move. Ron is faced with some difficult issues. And as for where Sirius is during all of this: he's back at the ministry. I just didn't feel like trying to work that somewhere into the story. More darkness, more pain and torment. And we're not done yet. This saga is going to keep on going!

Judas Kiss
(Or a Reasonable Facsimile Thereof)



I can't begin to describe the emotions that are running through my head right now. I don't even know why I'm here. I didn't have to be here. They told me I didn't have to be, but I wanted to be. I didn't join the ranks, I didn't cast any battle spells, I just stood with Draco from a pavilion and watched.


And now, all I can see is smoke.


"It's sort of sad."


I'm surprised to hear such a wistful tone from Draco.


"Yeah." I nod.


"But it isn't like it was destroyed, or anything." He continues, hand twining into mine. "I think it would be capital if we took it over. I mean, we're going to need it, aren't we?"


"Probably" But I really don't want to talk right now. Doesn't he realize what this means? We won. Hogwarts has fallen. Dumbeldore's dead, or so the reports say. Most of the staff and students taken prisoner, the rest either dead or fled.


"I never thought this day would really come." He squeezes my hand, and I understand. Neither did I. I mean, a part of me did, but...knowing and seeing are two different things.


I'm scared of the death toll. I'm scared to know who's dead. Most of the staff, I guess. Snape survived, he was over here when it happened. Smart man. Sneaky bastard, but a smart one.


"What happens now?" As if I know.


"I don't know. We kill the ones who refuse to accept us, and we rule the rest. And then...I don't know. Eventually he's out for world domination, so I guess e build a strong foundation here and start branching out."


"I see."


What can we say? We just stood her and watched our school be taken by Death Eaters. Never mind the fact that we are Death Eaters, it's still definitely a surreal experience. I probably shouldn't have come, but I wanted to. I needed to. I did this. Not by myself, but I was a big part of this. I need to see it through...


They come and get me, after an hour or so. The smoke has cleared, and the school looks okay. A couple of towers fell, but it's all fixable. Well, the Quidditch Stadium's gone, reduced to a pile of rubble. That pisses me off.


"It is time to pass sentence." Lucius informs me. "Our Lord wishes your presence."


"Of course."


Draco doesn't want to come. I think this is bothering him a little bit. He claims he's tired, and he wishes to rest. There's going to be a celebration tonight, he wants all his strength. Lucky him. I have to go and look into the eyes of every person I betrayed, and have them stare at me like they wished me dead. Just how I want to spend my evening!


But it's all part of things. This is why I'm here. I wanted us to win. And we did. I should be happy. But I'm not. The end of a war, for either side, is never happy. There's been death, and a long hard struggle. Sure, for the general populace it's great, but for those of us covered in blood and muck, it's a damn tired feeling.


"My lord." I bow to him, sinking to one knee. He's really set the place up. We were hiding out in caves, near the school. He's got it done up like some old king's court. He's on his throne, Lucius standing to his right. There's a couple of generals up there with him, sitting a bit lower then him. And of course Death Eaters standing all along the long green carpet, and a huddle of men and women in chains by the door.


"Come, come." Voldemort rises, taking my hand and lifting me up. "None of that, not today. We've won a great victory today. Come, take your place." He indicates the left side of his throne. I can feel my chest swell a bit at this. He wants me by his side. It's probably just to throw off the prisoners, but I don't care. I stand beside him, and fold my hands behind my back.


"You all know why we are here." Voldemort says, hands folded. He's in blood red. It matches his eyes. "Today we have triumphed. Today our long struggle to cleanse our world is at an end. We have stood proudly and bravely, and we have crushed them beneath us. Look at them! They cower, afraid, bent by our power. They beg us for mercy, and will we show it?"


"No!" They chorus. Okay. This is the part of war I hate. The old 'ha-ha, we beat you and now we're going to rub it in your face' bit. They fought well. They should be given that, at least. Execute them humanely, and move on. Don't make martyr's out of them.


"Bring forth the prisoners!" Voldemort called, and a the guards who were lording over them begin bringing them forward, one by one. The first handful I don't know, they're all kind of young. One is sentenced to death, two are given as 'pets', and the other two change their colors at the last minute. You'd be surprised how many people do that.


Then things get hard.


"And what is this?" Voldemort asks, grinning maliciously. This isn't going to be good, I can tell. I don't want to watch.


"A werewolf, lord." Lucius says, looking very calm and unconcerned.


"Such despicable creatures." Voldemort spits, and Lupin stares at the ground. I feel bad. He's
harmless, really. I mean, other then being the enemy. "See this? They fight with *animals* by their side. Tell me, wolf, do you do any tricks?"


I've got to give him credit. He says nothing, just keeps his eyes on the floor. He looks tired, and worse then I've ever seen him.


"Speak up beast! Perhaps, if you amuse, we will allow you to live!"


"I am not an animal." He says, very weakly. Bad answer.


"Yes, you are. And you will be treated as such. But since it appears you are a useless animal..." He lets the threat hang, lips pulling back in a dangerous smile.


I can't say anything. I have to hold my cards for the ones that really matter. I have to hold out for Harry. I wish I could help Lupin, but I can't...


"My lord." What the hell? Snape's going to get himself killed.


"Yes, Severus?"


"If I may make a request?"


"You may. I cannot promise it will be granted..."


"I would like the animal." Snape is poised, like a really good student asking a teacher if he can go to the loo.


"Why ever would you want such a pathetic beast?" Voldemort rises, kicking at Lupin.


"It is no secret my tastes run to the macabre." Snape says. Yeah, I've heard all sorts of rumors about what a sick fuck he is when it comes to sex. "But, if you would rather put him down, I will gladly step down my request." Smooth. And he will, to. He'll stand there and let Voldemort kill Lupin and do nothing. And so will I.


"No." Voldemort says, after a few minutes. "You may have the thing. But you will keep it in line."


"Of course my lord. Rest assured, I will authorize it myself, should the need arise." And he will. I don't feel quite so bad about myself anymore. He steps up, grabbing the chain that's looped around Lupin's neck, hauling him away.


At least he's alive. That's really all that matters. But somehow I don't think Snape's doing this to save Lupin. I think he's doing it because yes, he's a sick fuck and he's into non-humans. And he always hated Lupin, now he can have his own private revenge.


More and more are hauled before Voldemort. Professor McGonagall. I want to throw up. She keeps her eyes on me as she dies, like it's my fault. Maybe it is. At least it's quick.


Eventually, I just don't bother paying attention to names and faces. I know them, and they know me, and most of them die. I keep my eyes on them, but I don't really see it happen. I sort of shut my mind off, not wanting to see it happen. Once this is over, I'll be fine.


"You have not asked for anything." Voldemort says to me suddenly. Quietly.


"No." I shake my head.


"And you my boy are most deserving."


"When I see something I want, I'll let you know." I don't look at him. I'm waiting. I think he knows. If I'm that deserving, he'll give me what I want.


I've been standing here for about an hour. Now. Now's what I've been waiting for.


He looks awful. But he's not broken, not at all. He's walking with his head held high and his eyes flashing. Good for him! And he sees me, and my heart stops cause I'm so damn scared of what he's gonna say or do. But he gives me a little smile. A fucking smile. I want to laugh. Or maybe cry.


"Harry Potter." Voldemort leans back, and I don't want to wait for the lord to finish his spiel. But I have to.


"Well, well, well. You will kneel before me."


"No, actually, I won't." Harry, no! Don't be an arse.


"You will." Voldemort uses Imperio, but Harry fights it. Then comes Crucio. Harry's on his knees now. "Much better. What to do with you? I could kill you, but how boring that would be. You belong to me now. I want to see you suffer. I want to hear you scream..." He grins. "Will you scream for me? Hmm?"


"No..."


"You will." Another blast of Crucio. I force myself to watch. It's awful. He bends over, clutching his stomach and gasping. But he doesn't scream. My throat closes. This is the worst thing I have ever had to see. He's in pain. He's in a lot of pain. I want to stop it, but I can't do anything.


Voldemort grows tired after a few minutes, yawning exaggeratedly.


"Lucius, perhaps you would like to try? Your method's are so entertaining..."


"Of course my lord." Shit. Lucius doesn't use magic, he uses knives and whips and strange spiny things. He steps down, not looking at me. He stands over Harry, arms folded.


"Do you have any idea what I am going to do to you?"


This is the dark side. This is the side I don't like looking at. Or thinking about. I know it happens, but I'm never around it. And it's never being done to people I care about.


Lucius rips Harry's shirt off, and a knife appears in his hand. I'm torn. A part of me wants to close my eyes, to pretend it isn't happening. But another part says I have to watch. I have to know, and accept what I'm a part of. But I can't. I'm not that strong. I close my eyes, and I wince every time he screams. And they cheer.


"That's enough." Voldemort says. "Is he dead?"


Please no. Please, please, please no.


"No my lord." I hear a dull, sick thud. I open my eyes. I wish I hadn't. I have to fight very, very hard not to vomit. He's covered in blood. He's pale and he's lying on the ground and he's covered in blood.


"Such a sad little thing. Where is your power now, boy? Where is your luck? Where is your strength?" Voldemort laughs. "You've failed. You failed them all. It must feel awful. And you couldn't even provide me with entertainment. You broke far too soon. I wanted to play with you for days. But..." He smiles, and I'm starting to hate that smile.


"There are still...indignities I can put you through. Tell me boy, if you can speak, are you a virgin? Hmm? Silent? He's modest!" A chorus of laughter. "I suppose we'll simply have to check. Ron?"


Oh. Shit.


"My Lord?" Be calm. Be like Lucius. Be completely controlled and reserved. This is nothing. This is nothing. I'm fine.


"Will you do the honors?"


"Of course." I want to catch Harry's eyes, but I can't. He's lying face down on the carpet. It's stained black where he's bled on it. I walk slowly down, trying to make it seem as though I'm perfectly casual. And I do. I walk down, and I bend over Harry. I want to clean him up, but I can't. At least...at least all the blood is thick. I undo his pants, and slide them down just enough. I make sure my fingers get coated with blood as I do so, and then I slowly slide a finger inside.


"He's a virgin."


"Well then, we'll have to change that." Voldemort smiles. Now's my chance. I have to be damn careful though.


"May...may I, my lord?" I lick my lips, hoping the effect is sort of deranged and obsessive. I think it is. I hope it is.


"You would like to take him?" Voldemort seems puzzled.


"It's something I've always dreamed of, my lord." I run my hand over Harry's back, disgusted with the feeling of raw open wounds.


"Well, far be it from me to keep you from fulfilling a dream. Be my guest."


He wants me to do it now. I can't do it now! In front of everyone...


"Here? My lord, he's...to be honest, I doubt he'd survive my affections. Can I at least get him healed? I don't want him dying while I'm fucking him. I'm not Snape..."


I get a round of laughter for that. Good. They seem to agree with me. Voldemort play's to the crowd. I think I can manage this flawlessly.


"Lucius did do a good job on him..." Voldemort nods. "I will have him bathed and healed and sent to your chambers."


"Thank you my lord." I fall to my knees before him, kissing his hand.


"You may have him for the night. Then we will decide what to do with him."


Then we decide. I'll ask for him then. I'm taken to my chambers, and given some food. There's a note from Draco. He had to go back to the ministry building. He needed to get away, he had no stomach for blood sport. Yeah, me neither. I take off my coat, and lay down on my bed.


All I have to do now, is wait.



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