Today, Vice President Al Gore (D-The one trying to become President by LEGAL methods) made another rare public appearance in order to issue yet another clarification of his perfectly clear position on the Presidential election, proving why so many of us are truly Gore To The Core:

Once again, Vice President Gore shows the world the definition of "a class act".

Vice President Gore: "This has been an extraordinary eight days for the American People, and I wanted to speak with you, briefly, about how I believe we should conclude this election.

The campaign is over, but a test of our Democracy is now underway. This is a test we must pass, and it is a test we will pass with flying colors. All we need is a common agreement that what is at stake here is not who wins and who loses in the contest for the Presidency, but how we honor our Constitution and make sure that our Democracy works as our founders intended it to work. This is a time to respect every voter and every vote. This is a time to honor the true will of the people. So our goal must be what is right for America.

There is a simple reason that Florida law, and the law in many other states, calls for a careful check by real people of the machine results in elections like this one. The reason? Machines can sometimes misread or fail to detect the way ballots are cast. And when there are serious doubts, checking the machine count with a careful hand count is accepted far and wide as the best way to know the true intentions of the voters. That is why there have already been partial or complete hand counts not just in two Democratic counties in Florida, but in six Republican counties as well.

We need a resolution that is fair and final. We need to move expeditiously to the most complete and accurate count that is possible. And that is why I propose this evening a way to settle this matter with finality and justice, in a period of days, not weeks.

First we should complete hand recounts already begun in Palm Beach County, Dade County and Brower County, to determine the true intentions of the voters, based on an objective evaluation of their ballots. Observers and participants from both parties should be present in every counting room, as required under Florida law. The results of this recount would of course be added to results of the present certified vote total and the overseas absentee vote total. If this happens, I will abide by the result, I will take no legal action to challenge the result and I will not support any legal action to challenge the result.

I am also prepared, if Governor Bush prefers, to include in this recount all the counties in the entire state of Florida. I would also be willing to abide by that result and agree not to take any legal action to challenge that result. If there are no further interruptions to the process, we believe the count can be completed within seven days of the time it starts.

Braindead Nazi crack-ho Texacutioner George W. Bush (R-The One trying to STEAL the Presidency) refused to meet with the Vice President, and made a counter offer of doing his hysterical impersonation of a white knuckle drunk passing out live on National television while his fascist cronies try to cholorform Democracy.

Now, second: I propose that Governor Bush and I meet personally, one on one, as soon as possible, before the vote count is finished -- not to negotiate, but to improve the tone of our dialogue in America. We should both call on all of our supporters to respect the outcome of this election, whatever it may be. We should both call on all our supporters to prepare themselves to close ranks as Americans and unite the country behind the winner, as soon as this process is completed. Shortly after the results are known, we should both come together for another meeting, to reaffirm our national unity. If I turn out to be successful, I'll be ready to travel to Governor Bush's home. If I am not, I'll be ready to meet him wherever he wishes.

I would also like to urge all of those speaking for either of us to do their part to lift up this discourse, to refrain from using inflammatory language and to avoid statements that could make it harder for our country to come together, once the counting is over. That is the direction I have given to my own campaign.

I don't know what the final results will show, but I do know this is about much more than what happens to me or my opponent. It is about our Democracy. My faith is in the people's will, in our Constitution, and in our system of self-government. Thank you. God bless you, and God bless America.

A few hours after the Vice President finished his statement, Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris (R-The 6 Million Dollar Dragon Lady - - We Can Rebuild Her, We Have The Technology) announced that, even after loosing her battle to have the Florida State Supreme Court stop all hand counting, she had arbitrarily rejected all of the outstanding requests for extensions to hand count ballots, which, coincidentally enough, were all from Democratic Counties. By an even more serendipitous coincidence, this move left Governor Bush ahead of Vice President Gore by 300 whole votes, with only the absentee ballots left to add to this total, absentee ballots which, in so many past Florida elections, have proven to be so much more easy to forge than regular ballots, and have therefor provided many Sunshine State pols with their healthy margins of victory. A scant hour after the Harris dropped that little neutron bomb, her Corporate master Texas Governor D. Dubya Smirkenstein stunk up the airwaves in one of his most wooden, awkward performances ever. During his poorly rehearsed soundbyte, Governor Bush announced such non-news items as the fact that he refused to meet with Vice President Gore until after the Florida election scandal was safely swept under the carpet, possibly because Smirk didn’t want to ruin his reputation by associating with a person of integrity, honor and basic human decency.


Hmmm... so far I haven’t seemed to do much to lift up this discourse, or refrained from using inflammatory language or avoided statements that could make it harder for our country to come together, once the counting is over, have I? In fact, not only have I been unstatesmanlike in this issue, I have been down right Republican in my smear tactics.

I’d like to apologize and say it was very inappropriate of me to insult Governor Bush’s fine team of campaign professionals by insinuating that they’re fucking Nazis who ought to be run out of Austin on a rail and forced to work in the Saipan sweatshops making Nike tennis shoes for the next 500 years. That would be inflammatory as well as inappropriate. In fact, it would just be wrong.

It would also be wrong if I suggested we need to pass a law making membership in the Bush family a felony, with a minimum mandatory sentence of 40-to-life, which would ensure that all their youthful indiscretions took place in prison, where they belong.

It would also be wrong to suggest that if Ms. Harris called Tammy Faye Baker and asked for a "Tammy Faye Special" make-over, it would be an improvement on her current look, which gives Avon mature formula spackling compound a bad name.

It would also be terribly, terribly wrong suggest that Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris needs her 6 million dollar ass sued for conflict of interest, since she is a God damned Elector and is not just making decisions about whether her boss’s drunken, moronic brother gets to steal the Presidency, but whether she gets to go to the Electoral College in December and cast her vote for that same drunken, moronic brother.

It would also be wrong to suggest that everyone in America needs to write, email or phone Ms. Harris to tell her what a feeble excuse for a human being she is and that there are species of pond scum that would make better Ambassadors than she ever could.

It would be so very, very wrong to post her phone number, address and email address.

Phone: 1-850-414-5500

E-Mail: secretary@mail.dos.state.fl.us

Web Site: http://www.dos.state.fl.us/oss/index.html


It would be even more wrong to post my own email that I sent to her this morning, and now regret that it wasn’t nearly as nasty as it could have been. It would be unforgivable if it were below, in green:

Subject: Your position on the hand counting of ballots
To: secretary@mail.dos.state.fl.us.

Dear Ms. Harris:

I have been watching the developments in Florida with interest, and I must say that your obviously partisan interference with your state's electoral process has made me ashamed to be an American citizen. Normally I would not accuse a public official of such base conduct. But recently I have read in various journals that you have said you are "passionately interested" in a job in a Bush administration, that you actively campaigned for Bush in New Hampshire, that you are the Co-Chair of the Bush Florida Election Committee, and that you are a major Florida fund-raiser for Bush.

Given all these obvious conflicts of interest, and since all of your actions to date have been to stop or to slow down hand counting in Democratic counties while allowing hand counting in six Republican counties to take place, you have shown yourself to value your potential position in a Bush administration above the basic civil rights of Florida's citizens. The shocking abuse of our electoral process by yourself and Governor Bush has seriously damaged the credibility of the United States around the world. Even if Governor Bush succeeds in stealing the Presidency and allows you to be Ambassador to one of our staunchest allies, your tenure will be short and unsuccessful. You are already an international joke.

Your Governor, John Ellis Bush, at least had the good grace to acknowledge his bias and recuse himself from this process. If you have any integrity at all, please follow his example and immediately recuse yourself.

It would probably be way totally wrongest for me to ask you to sign the petition asking Harris to recuse herself.

Can't get to Florida to march with Jesse? Send a lawyer instead!
Contributions are being accepted for the legal battles against the Bush Brothers' Banana Hall Putsch!

Make your personal check payable to "THE GORE/LIEBERMAN RECOUNT COMMITTEE". There is NO LIMIT to how much you can contribute. However, your donation will be reported to the Federal Elections Commission, so be sure to include your occupation and employer (if applicable) on the "note" area of your check.

Send your check to:

ATTN: Recount Committee
c/o the Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capital St. S.E.
Washington, DC
20003

Feeling demoralized because all the GOP attack Chihuahuas are chanting
"the Democrats will give up Florida without a fight"?
Check out Al's War Room.
It makes D-Day look like a Community Theater production!


MONDAY, NOVEMBER 13TH.
THE REVEREND JESSE JACKSON LEADS A RE-VOTE MARCH IN PALM BEACH COUNTY, FLORIDA
Read Reverend Jackson's commentary on the Florida elections!

Hey, Michael Moore! Still think there's no difference between "Gush and Bore"?

GOT A DITTO-MONKEY ON YOUR BACK
WHO THINKS AL SHOULD CONCEDE NOW?
Check out the top 13 myths about the 2000 election.
Sure, it's longer than just saying "It's called Democracy, stupid",
but sometimes you need the big hammer.


Hop on the Banana mail express!
Email the America's favorite Banana Republicans,
the Bush Brothers!
Email Smirk! If you haven’t visited the Governor’s homepage at the Texas State site, you should! It’s full of extremely informative information about the State of Texas, such as the fact that Governor Bush is known as a Compassionate Conservative. There are also extremely informative images of Texas, such as Governor Bush with adorning ethnic children and his adoring non-ethnic wife, Mrs. Texas Governor George W. Bush. It also contains fun, fascinating facts about Capital Punishment!

But best of all - - you can Email Smirk!

I’m sure Governor Bush would love to hear your opinion on a wide range of subjects - - especially about his attempted coup. Volunteer to invade Poland for him! Invite him to speak at your next Bund rally! The possibilities are as endless as the Texas sky.

Email John Ellis Bush (aka JEB)! Unlike that evil carpetbagger, Hillary Clinton, John Ellis Bush is as Florida as they come, invading the state in 1981. Undoubtedly the brains behind the Bush Brothers’ Banana Hall Putsch, redneck wannabe John Ellis has got what it takes to be passed over for the Presidency in favor of his drunken, moronic brother, Smirk. While you Email Jeb, be sure to sing Florida’s official anthem! (The revised lyrics are provided below.)

This is an interactive page! Sing along to the tune of "The Chiquita Banana Song"!




SMIRK’S TRYING TO FIX THE FLORIDA ELECTION
SMIRK’S TRYING TO STEAL
THE BIG COMMANDER-IN-CHEIF HAT
FROM THE PRESIDENT YOU CHOSE
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT SMIRK?

AL'S DAY IN D.C. UPDATE: The People's POTUS Elect called on the nation to act like grownups. Within hours, Katherine Harris and George W. Bush announced that it was their official NFL regulation football, and if American didn't agree to dump Al, they'd just take their ball home and nobody could play.

NEW Pro-Democracy protests are being held all across America at 1 p.m., next Saturday, November 18th, to protest Smirk’s fuzzy vote count in Florida and his bogus claim that he won the Presidency already so we don’t need to see if anybody’s civil rights were violated in Florida. Click here for a list of cities and their protest locations.

Write, phone or email your Senators and Congressional Representatives -- tell them how you feel about the Florida election and what you think needs to be done to pick the next President! Especially if they are Republicans, let them know how you feel about Smirk’s claim to the Presidency! Let them know how you feel about the way Jeb runs Florida's elections!

Al’s back in DC, on the job! Email the People’s POTUS Elect and tell him how you feel about his fight against Florida’s vote fraud and civil rights abuses! Get specific! It’s Al!

Why has the fifth column in the fourth estate insisted that Al concede an election that isn’t over - - especially one so obviously rotten with voter fraud? Give those weasels a piece of your mind!

Smirk Links! Visit links both comedic and serious about America's favorite Coke Snortin', Draft Dodgin' Granny Killer for Christ -- D. Dubya Smirk!

Don't forget to visit "Gore-in-context", your one stop shop for debunking urban legends about Vice President Gore!	There are other ways to find this page, but here is the day I lost hope we'd ever beat the Smirks of this world. Thanks to everyone who offered their comfort and support.
Click here for your October Surprise Update! (Link Updated On 10/14!)	I'm Mad As Hell And I'm Not Going To Take It Any More! (Updated on 10/22 -- We take on CNN!)

The Fine Folks At Occidental Petroleum Remind You That They've Already Sunk A Ton Of Money Into This Election, So If You Must Vote, Vote For Their Guys.
Or Else They'll Steal Florida Right Out From Under The Smart Guy. Not Like There's Anything Fishy About That. Or Illegal. Nope. Nothing.

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THE REVIEWS ARE IN!!

Thanks to Kevin@Cunninghamstrikes.com - - King Of The Phototoon!!

"If You Don't Know About Cunninghamstrikes.com - -
You don't know Smirk About Comedy!"




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