Dude, I don't feel so good...

(For those of you playing along at home, the answer is: "I gots totally hammerated on Zima.")

The Associated Press
Thursday, Nov. 16, 2000; 10:32 a.m. EST

Text of Vice President's Gore interview Thursday on Tom Joyner's radio show:

Gore: People are very upset that they voted for somebody that they didn't intend to vote for or that they had to leave the ballot blank in the presidential race even though they voted in every other race. Or they got confused and tried to rectify their mistake by voting a second time. And you know in some of those ballots they may have taken out a pen or pencil and put a check mark on to say this thing is so confusing I'm just going to try to help you read it and I'm going to mark my ballot.

Joyner: Everyone should be careful.

Gore: That's the simple principle.

Tavis Smiley: I respect the fact that you are trying to tone down the rhetoric and I think that your proposal yesterday was extremely fair. That's my personal opinion. And I know that this morning a number of the newspapers across the country on the op-ed pages most of America's op-ed pages agree that your proposal yesterday was fair and balanced. Having said that, there are some facts I think that have to be addressed. And I'm curious to ask whether or not – I don't think that everything is a conspiracy but I'll be doggone if I'm not starting to think this thing – I mean this thing looks to me awfully conspiratorial here. You have here the secretary of state in Florida, who is a Republican, who is the co-chair of Bush's campaign, who is one of his Electoral College voters, I understand, who did last night what I thought was unthinkable, apparently not in her mind. There are a lot of folks who are starting to think this thing stinks to high heaven.

Sybil Wilkes: If it looks like a duck and it walls like a duck ...

Q: What is it?

Gore: Well you're tempting me but I'm not going to say anything.

Q: If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck it's a Bush.

Gore: Come on now. Come on now.

Q: I mean we can make, I'm serious, we can make jokes about this. We can make jokes about this. But there are a lot of people, I'm serious, who are starting to look at this and see this election about to be stolen like Evander Holyfield stole that fight from Lennox Lewis.

Gore: Well see, I would discourage use of that word because again, however it comes out, we're gonna come behind the winner. And please understand that there are high emotions on the other side. And if we are able to count all the votes and get a fair count then, Tavis, there will be people on the other side who are so worked up about it that they will use inflammatory language and make it harder on their side.

I just want to do my part to try to protect our country and our ability to come together.

But I know what you are saying, Tavis, and you know the choice really is whether the voters are going to decide this election by having every vote count or whether that process is going to be short-circuited without all the votes being examined. Whether the voter has expressed an intent that can be decided or not.

Q: Here's a question I think you can answer. Since you don't want to call a conspiracy I will call it a conspiracy. Those are my words and not yours Mr. V.P. But let me ask you this though. However this thing turns out in the end – the real question on my mind, I think, has to be in the back of the mind of most of American public which is how does one lead out of this mess. If you get elected and Bush gets elected how do you lead a country that is clearly divided as we are right now?

Gore: Well,my first step will be to come on the Tom Joyner show. I think what you do is make all of the moves possible to bring the people together. For example, last night, I proposed that Governor Bush and I get together even before the counting had finished to try to set a better tone and to stand together in calling in our supporters to put the country first. And then I also said that as soon as the results are known we should have another meeting to reaffirm that unity. And I said if I'm successful I will travel to his home in Texas to try to take the initiative to set the right tone. And if he's successful I'll meet him wherever he wants me to meet him.

Then I think that – just speaking for myself, if I'm successful in this I will certainly fight all the way for the principles I think are core principles that have to be defended. But at the same time I will do everything I possibly can to reach out to the people who disagree with me and to try to see their points of view to try to establish an atmosphere of respect. Not just plain respect, not just put-on respect but real respect for the differences that we hold and work across the line to come up with commonsense answers that don't lead to further arguing and bickering.

Q: You do realize these are fellow politicians you are talking about.

Gore: I know, I know but they're also human beings. You know you got to make the effort and a lot of time you are surprised that it does in fact pay off.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 13TH.
THE REVEREND JESSE JACKSON LEADS A RE-VOTE MARCH IN PALM BEACH COUNTY, FLORIDA
Read Reverend Jackson's commentary on the Florida elections!

Hey, Michael Moore! Still think there's no difference between "Gush and Bore"?

GOT A DITTO-MONKEY ON YOUR BACK
WHO THINKS AL SHOULD CONCEDE NOW?
Check out the top 13 myths about the 2000 election.
Sure, it's longer than just saying "It's called Democracy, stupid",
but sometimes you need the big hammer.


Hop on the Banana mail express!
Email the America's favorite Banana Republicans,
the Bush Brothers!

Email Smirk! If you haven’t visited the Governor’s homepage at the Texas State site, you should! It’s full of extremely informative information about the State of Texas, such as the fact that Governor Bush is known as a Compassionate Conservative. There are also extremely informative images of Texas, such as Governor Bush with adorning ethnic children and his adoring non-ethnic wife, Mrs. Texas Governor George W. Bush. It also contains fun, fascinating facts about Capital Punishment!

But best of all - - you can Email Smirk!

I’m sure Governor Bush would love to hear your opinion on a wide range of subjects - - especially about his attempted coup. Volunteer to invade Poland for him! Invite him to speak at your next Bund rally! The possibilities are as endless as the Texas sky.

Email John Ellis Bush (aka JEB)! Unlike that evil carpetbagger, Hillary Clinton, John Ellis Bush is as Florida as they come, invading the state in 1981. Undoubtedly the brains behind the Bush Brothers’ Banana Hall Putsch, redneck wannabe John Ellis has got what it takes to be passed over for the Presidency in favor of his drunken, moronic brother, Smirk. While you Email Jeb, be sure to sing Florida’s official anthem! (The revised lyrics are provided below.)

This is an interactive page! Sing along to the tune of "The Chiquita Banana Song"!




SMIRK’S TRYING TO FIX THE FLORIDA ELECTION
SMIRK’S TRYING TO STEAL
THE BIG COMMANDER-IN-CHEIF HAT
FROM THE PRESIDENT YOU CHOSE
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT SMIRK?

AL'S DAY IN D.C. UPDATE: The People's POTUS Elect made a brief announcement outside his official Washington residence. As you can tell from this photo, this area is the perfect habitat for the Virginia opossum. I suspect there's at least one of those noble creatures digging through his recycling bins, right now.

NEW Pro-Democracy protests are being held all across America at 1 p.m., next Saturday, November 18th, to protest Smirk’s fuzzy vote count in Florida and his bogus claim that he won the Presidency already so we don’t need to see if anybody’s civil rights were violated in Florida. Click here for a list of cities and their protest locations.

Write, phone or email your Senators and Congressional Representatives -- tell them how you feel about the Florida election and what you think needs to be done to pick the next President! Especially if they are Republicans, let them know how you feel about Smirk’s claim to the Presidency! Let them know how you feel about the way Jeb runs Florida's elections!

Al’s back in DC, on the job! Email the People’s POTUS Elect and tell him how you feel about his fight against Florida’s vote fraud and civil rights abuses! Get specific! It’s Al!

Why has the fifth column in the fourth estate insisted that Al concede an election that isn’t over - - especially one so obviously rotten with voter fraud? Give those weasels a piece of your mind!

Smirk Links! Visit links both comedic and serious about America's favorite Coke Snortin', Draft Dodgin' Granny Killer for Christ -- D. Dubya Smirk!

Don't forget to visit "Gore-in-context", your one stop shop for debunking urban legends about Vice President Gore!	There are other ways to find this page, but here is the day I lost hope we'd ever beat the Smirks of this world. Thanks to everyone who offered their comfort and support.
Click here for your October Surprise Update! (Link Updated On 10/14!)	I'm Mad As Hell And I'm Not Going To Take It Any More! (Updated on 10/22 -- We take on CNN!)

The Fine Folks At Occidental Petroleum Remind You That They've Already Sunk A Ton Of Money Into This Election, So If You Must Vote, Vote For Their Guys.
Or Else They'll Steal Florida Right Out From Under The Smart Guy. Not Like There's Anything Fishy About That. Or Illegal. Nope. Nothing.

Read yesterday's Flapdoodle!
Read tomorrow's Flapdoodle!
Talk To The Possum!
Return To Possum County!



THE REVIEWS ARE IN!!

Thanks to Kevin@Cunninghamstrikes.com - - King Of The Phototoon!!

"If You Don't Know About Cunninghamstrikes.com - -
You don't know Smirk About Comedy!"




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