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Serving America - One Possum At A Time! |
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"Hi. I'm not a friend of working Americans. But I play one on TV." |
Simple! Genius! That would put Bush in the White House and THAT would lead to mass revolution and THAT would lead to ... well, something. This stuff ALWAYS leads to something!
I told Ralph, though, that "running" and hanging out with "celebrities" would NOT be enough. So I was dispatched to secretly meet with Al Gore. Using my incredible powers of persuasion, I was the one who persuaded Gore to ignore not only his traditional Democratic base --"
Demographic breakdown of voters | GORE | BUSH | Women: | 54% | 43% | African Americans: | 90% | 9% | Hispanics: | 62% | 35% | Asian Americans: | 55% | 41% | Aged 65 & Older: | 50% | 47% | Gay/Lesbian: | 70% | 25% | Union members: | 62% | 34% | Union member in household: | 59% | 37% | Working class: | 51% | 46% | Protestants: | 42% | 56% | Catholics: | 50% | 47% | Jews: | 79% | 19% | Other religions: | 62% | 28% | No religion: | 61% | 30% | Those believing abortion should be always legal | 70% | 25% | Those beleiving abortion should be mostly legal | 58% | 38% |
"...Using my incredible powers of persuasion, I was the one who persuaded Gore to ignore not only his traditional Democratic base, but also his home state of Tennessee in the campaign. He agreed! I then got him to prevent Clinton from campaigning in Arkansas. He went along with this also -- and together those two states cost him 16 critical electoral votes!
In US | In TN | In AR | In FL | |
Those with an unfavorable view of Clinton as a person | 60% | 62% | 61% | 56% |
Those who approve of Clinton’s performance as President and like him as a person | 35% | 33% | 33% | 37% |
Those who disapprove of Clinton’s performance as President and disapprove of him as a person | 39% | 45% | 42% | 37% |
Gore | Bush | |
Percentage who think candidate is honest and trustworthy | 52% | 55% |
Percentage who think candidate is not honest and trustworthy | 45% | 40% |
Percentage who think candidate would say anything to get elected | 74% | 58% |
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Hey, Michael Moore! Still think there's no difference between "Gush and Bore"? |
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Prior to the 2000 campaign, this is how America pictured Al Gore: going to church with his wife. Now 74% of the voting public think he's just another hack who'd say anything to get elected. Thank you, Bush dirty tricks squad and their corporate media attack Chihuahuas, for a job well done! |
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Katherine Harris, Smirk crony. Net worth: approx. $6 million. |
Can't get to Florida to march with Jesse? Send a lawyer instead!
Contributions are being accepted for the legal battles against the Bush Brothers' Banana Hall Putsch!
ATTN: Recount Committee
c/o the Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capital St. S.E.
Washington, DC
20003
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AL'S DAY IN D.C. UPDATE: The People's POTUS Elect and Tipper jog past the media and protesters camped outside their Washington residence. No word yet on the affect this new GOP infestation may have on the local Virginia opossum population. |
Smirk Links! Visit links both comedic and serious about America's favorite Coke Snortin', Draft Dodgin' Granny Killer for Christ -- D. Dubya Smirk!
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(Link Updated On 10/14!) |
Or Else They'll Steal Florida Right Out From Under The Smart Guy. Not Like There's Anything Fishy About That. Or Illegal. Nope. Nothing.