Show up for the Inauguration.

Announce that Janet Reno and RuPaul will be job sharing the position of Secretary of Defense.

Have Tipper begin the first press conference of his administration with "Al had to run Karenna out to Wal-Mart to pick up some Pampers, so he asked me to brief you on developments in the Middle East."

Continue to ask peasants for their opinions.

Keep using the phrase "In my Faith Tradition... " like everybody else isn’t a Southern Baptist or something!

Create a new Federal agency called the Bureau of Unacceptably Substandard Housing to deal with slums, so that bureaucrats around the country will spend their day saying things like "The Colonias? Oh, that’s B.U.S.H.’s responsibility."

Appoint Bill Clinton to the Supreme Court.

Start each Press Briefing by giving each reporter a copy of their latest work, with corrections, suggested reading lists and gold stars for reporters who complete their work correctly and play well with others -- but refuse to grade on a curve!

Be an effective Commander-In-Chief.

Get Reelected in 2004!!

The Fine Folks At Fox and Halliburton Remind You That They've Already Sunk A Ton Of Money Into This Election, So If You Must Vote, Vote For Their Guy.
Or Else.