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NO!! I WANT THE OLD JOKES!!! NOW!!!!

Just who's in charge here, anyway?
Dateline: October 29, 2000
IN THE "HEL-LO?! GIMME A BREAK!" DEPARTMENT
(The back of the bus/AP)

Greenlican Party Presidential Candidate Ralph W. NaderBush (Gr-Did you buzz me, Mr. Bush?) says there ain’t a dime’s worth of difference between Repreen Presidential Candidate Texas Governor George W. BushNader (Rg-Did you buzz me, Mr. Cheney?) and Democratic Presidential Candidate Vice President Al Gore (D-His Own Man).

Putting aside all the juicy but unsubstantiated rumors of Governor Bush’s insider trading, cocaine abuse, pedaphilia, illegal abortions, drug dealing and ritual homoerotic torture, let’s take a hard look at two events that have recently entered the public record which may shed some light on the subject.

THE DAILY FLAPDOODLE PRESENTS:
LET'S PLAY COMPARE AND CONTRAST

Democratic presidential candidate Vice President Al Gore hugs Carol Heflin of Kalamazoo, Mich., whose grandson was very ill months ago and Gore personally called on the insurance company to help pay for his medical expenses, during a brief stop on the Great Lakes Prosperity Tour campaign rally in Howell, Mich., Sunday, Oct. 29, 2000. At left is Tipper Gore and Carol Heflin's husband David. Carol and David also wore shirts that read "Al Gore saved my grandson's life". (AP Photo/Doug Mills)



VS.


The hostility that many members of (Texas hate crime victim James Byrd Junior's) family feel toward the Texas governor is real, and if Democrats have their way, it will soon become well known.

The ad features Byrd's oldest daughter, Renee Mullins, 29, an Army veteran and homemaker who says she was moved to speak out on the issue after the debate. "It was just another way of him misleading the public," says Mullins. "He didn't have the statistics right."

More significantly, Mullins says, Bush left the impression that he supported hate crimes legislation. "I knew I had to do something," she says, "because I was a firsthand witness" to the fact that Bush opposed the 1999 hate crimes bill.

On May 6, 1999, Mullins; her cousin, Darrell Verrett; state Rep. Senfronia Thompson, D-Houston; and a gay rights lobbyist met with Bush to lobby on behalf of the bill.

"I went in there pleading to him," Mullins says. "I said that if he helped me move it along I would feel that he hadn't died in vain ... [Rep.] Thompson said, 'Gov. Bush, what Renee's trying to say is, Would you help her pass the bill?' And he said, 'No.' Just like that."

"He had a nonchalant attitude, like he wanted to hurry up and get out of there," Mullins says. "It was cold in that room."

The NAACP National Voter fund newspaper ad -- part of a radio, TV and newspaper campaign -- focuses on this exchange: "I went to Governor George W. Bush and begged him to help pass a Hate Crimes Bill in Texas," Mullins says in the ad. "He just told me no."

While responding, "We certainly understand their emotion," Bush spokesman Ray Sullivan disputes the Byrd family's description of his boss's attitude.

"Throughout the process, Governor Bush has treated the Byrd family with a great deal of respect," Sullivan says. "He spoke to them prior to Mr. Byrd's funeral. He gave 45 minutes of his time to meet with Miss Mullins. The governor's office helped to fund the prosecution of Mr. Byrd's killers."

The Byrds scoff at this. No one in the family spoke to Bush on the phone, they say. Mullins says she met with Bush for about half an hour -- and only after massive pressure on Bush to do so. Bush's office's effort to aid the prosecution was pretty simple, in the form of a $100,000 grant -- about a third of what the federal government and Jasper County taxpayers each kicked in. Moreover, Bush did nothing to help pass the hate crimes bill that bore James Byrd Jr.'s name.

The chasm between the Byrd family and the governor began right after Byrd's murder, when Bush said he wouldn't attend Byrd's funeral because he thought the atmosphere would be too "politically charged" -- even though Hutchison, Transportation Secretary Rodney Slater and other officials had no problem attending. Bush spokeswoman Karen Hughes said that Bush's no-show at the funeral was at the Byrd family's request, but no one in the Byrd family knows about such a request.

"Nobody told him to stay away," says Mullins.

The family also disputes Bush's claim that he called the Byrds to offer his condolences, saying that not one of them could recall ever speaking to him. Although Bush cannot recall whom he supposedly spoke with, a Bush spokesman produced phone records showing a two-minute phone call from the governor's mansion to a home in Jasper.

"He says that, but I don't know who he talked to," says Stella Byrd. "He didn't talk to me."

Bush's seeming indifference made him unique, the Byrds say.

"Lots of officials offered condolences to me, my parents and my brother's children," Harris says. "Senator Hutchison, she supported the family, she called the family, she talked to my brother's children. Even the president himself, he called the family, he talked to my brother's children and my parents, he offered his condolences personally.

"I can't understand why Bush wasn't able to get through," she says. "For him to make a point about that, and not know the facts about that, that's a lie."


Hey, Ralph W. NaderBush!!
The rest of America says:
"IT'S THE SUPREME COURT, STUPID!!"


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