THE POSSUM COUNTY DAILY FLAPDOODLE
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NO!! I WANT THE OLD JOKES!!! NOW!!!!

Just who's in charge here, anyway?

Dateline: September 19, 2000
DUBYA DOES OPRAH
(TVLAND/Reuters)
As Republican presidential candidate George W. Bush (R-Hindenburg) made his entrance on the "Oprah" talk show today, he displayed his famous third grade sense of humor by "surprising" Ms. Winfrey with a long, sloppy kiss. Bush's wife Laura, watching the kiss from a safe distance across the street, admitted to feeling "deeply relieved that I'm not involved in any way".

Bush aides were thrilled about the potential for what they have dubbed "The Way Hotter Kiss Than That Dumb Gore Guy's" to vault their candidate back into the lead. However, a new GOP/Fox News/Same Diff Poll taken immediately after the "Oprah" show aired in Texas, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Louisiana and Idaho, found that Bush was now trailing in these traditionally Republican areas by 82% - 0% (with 3% for Pat Buchannan and 5% for David Duke).

When asked for comment, Bush spokesperson Karen Hughes proved once again that no matter how much money Halliburton et al funnel into their campaign, the Bush Camp still can't buy a clue: "These numbers are just preliminary. Once we see the Governor's double digit bounce from The Way Hotter Kiss Than That Dumb Gore Guy's, we're going to solidify our lead by stealing the Biological Deviants community away from the Democrats - we're going to have the Governor kiss Mr. Cheney - on Larry King Live!"




The Fine Folks At Fox and Halliburton Remind You That They've Already Sunk A Ton Of Money Into This Election, So If You Must Vote, Vote For Their Guy.
Or Else.




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