1. If at all possible, everyone should Plunge to the same routine.
2. If you make a mistake, give a nasty look to the person next to you.
4. Pretend to carefully inspect your percussive appendage equipment before Plunging. After doing so, you can scuff the floor all night with a clear conscience.
5. Last one to get on/off the stage wins.
6. The right Plunge at the wrong time is the wrong Plunge (and vice-versa). [Unless it's "Crank-It-Up", in which case the right Plunge at any time is cause for celebration.]
7. If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.
8. Strive to get the maximum possible PPS (Plunges Per Second). This is guranteed to gain the admiration of the incompetent.
9. If a Plunge is difficult, slow down; if it's easy, speed up. Everything will work itself out in the end.
10. When you execute a difficult solo, make an agonized face so the audience will appreciate how just hard it really is.
12. Happy are those who cannot hear the beat, for the Kingdoms of Ineptitude and Cacophonous Sounds are theirs.
13. If the routine has to stop because of you, explain in detail why you got lost. Everyone will be very interested.
14 A true interpretation is realized when there remains not one Plunge of the original.
15. When everyone else has finished Plunging, you should not do any more Plunges you have left. If you have Plunges left over, please do them on the way home.
16. A wrong Plunge done timidly is a wrong Plunge. A wrong Plunge done with authority is an interpretation. .
17. If you don't have the slightest clue what you're doing, make something up and yell "yeeehhhhhaaaaaaa" at the top of your lungs.
18. Be sure to kick the person in front of you in the Bavarian routine. This lets them know you are back there where you should be.
19. Increasing music speed maximizes the possible number of achievable SPS (Screw-ups Per Second)
20. Gender changes within routines are highly discouraged.
21. If you fall down during a plunging exhibition, get up and take a big bow before resuming your place in the routine.
22. If the "Slipshod Shuffler" crooks her finger at you while you are performing, stop Plunging immediately and go find out what she wants.
23. Never look at "Crank-It-Up's" face OR feet during a routine.
24. Always blame major screw-ups on the sound man (somewhat harder to do in the Silent Routine, but with imagination, still possible).
25. Ducking to avoid flying objects (shoes/jewelry/hankies/tomatoes) during a performance is prohibited. If it comes that close it must be discretely caught and disposed of until after the number ends, at which time points will be awarded for Bravery Under Fire.
Pharmacology
Screwing-Up Onstage