Fly poetry

Welcome to the Fly Poetry Page! Scroll down and read some of our fly poems! Send in some yourself!

Index

An Ode to Eating Flies

The Fly-Eaters Song - a Volk Polka

The Anxiety of the Postmodern Fly: An Extended Haiku

I Ate Flies in 'Nam

I Saw Tony Blair Eating Flies!

Blowfly-Maggot Kransky - a love song

Flies around the world - a culinary diary

How Do you make Fly Pie?

An Ode to Eating Flies...

An Ode to Eating Flies

By Seamus Sillypoppins Majorus

 

I don't think I shall ever fry

A dinner if it's not made from fly

Flies are good to crunch an' munch on

And a very good meal to have for luncheon

Occasionally, I find it's nice

To chew upon my own head-lice

I like a maggot, sometimes, too,

And I like to drink some algal-brew

And it's fun to eat your pet-dogs fleas

With a little rice, and a little cheese

But better than this, oh, far far better

Is to eat a fly with some grated fetta

I like to mash flies into a goo

'Cause then I can make them into stew

I'll have them live, or I'll have them dead,

I'll have them on a slice of bread

My doctor says that I should stop

But I'll keep right on until I drop.


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The Fly-Eaters Song - a Volk Polka

With new Lyrics by Hans-Holbein son of Dieter son of Pieter son of Arthur the Maggot-eater


Mein name ist Hans-Holbein Gustavus Pieter

Mein father is Arthur Lederhosen Dieter

Und Ich bin ein lustig FLY EATER!


Ja, EATING FLIES is gut indeed!

So tanzen, singen, to this lied!


Ich muss hab flies! Haben sie eine?

They are so schone and so kleine!

To eat ein fly – what could be finer?


Ja, EATING FLIES is gut indeed!

So tanzen, singen, to this lied!


By Hans-Holbein Gustavus Pieter, of the house of Goethe Wertherson von Stein-on-the-Rhein.


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The Fly-Eaters Song - a Volk Polka

The Anxiety of the Postmodern Fly: An Extended Haiku

By Crystal Happyjoy Blugyug of Deepsoul


 The

  Sophoristic holism of the plastic

  Mindset

 disappoints.


  (Mmmm... flies...)


 April said the policeman is the cruellest month

 But as I walked out one environmental degradation

 Surprised by (FLIES! Oh boy, I'M HUNGRY!)

  But.


falling

 falling

  we are all of us

  (Boy, those frying flies smell good)

  Bugger. Iambic Pentameter Again.

  O Keep the Dog Far Hence, that's foe to

  Silly old Wally had a rat in his collar

  And didn't know where

  to

  Capitalise them or.

  Shit.


  (Are those flies ready yet?)


  O Mother Earth, we have

  Lost our pancakes

  (Little fly, little fly)

  We have no

  Bananas are worse

  But spatulas aside,

  Negatively speaking.


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I Ate Flies in 'Nam

I Ate Flies in 'Nam


by Colonel Larvae Teryaki


I was made fun of in Vietnam

Because of my habit of eating Spam

But now that I’ve discovered FLY

You’d be hard-pressed to find a more popular guy!


Here in Nam under unfamiliar skies

We find cool varieties of tropical flies

Some are so big it takes bazookas to beat ‘em

Which adds a nice tang when we get to eat ‘em.


We taught the locals about fly-eating

When we got sick of giving them a beating

Now together we cook flies and drink lots of saki

In honour of me, Colonel Larvae Teriyaki.


Welcome to the Fly Force and Squadron B

Where the soldiers love a good fly recipe

We eat quality flies & start wars with the French

Coz they eat snails, and that’s just cacky.


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I Saw Tony Blair Eating Flies!

From Joseph Smedley Gubwallider


Now I know that it's naughty to slander

And I know that it's wrong to tell lies,

But if you still care, I saw Tony Blair

The leader of England, eat FLIES!


He had them with green beans and Chutney,

Plus a sprinkle of Worcestershire sauce.

They were ground up, with fleas and a topping of cheese -

(To bring out the flavour, of course.)


"I eat Flies for lunch and for dinner -

Ten Flies a day, at the least,"

(Said he with a grin, as he wiped off his chin) -

"Plus on Sundays, I have a Fly Feast!"


Now I know I should have asked about WMD's,

And tried to get at the truth.

I know this was my chance to get real answers -

But - EWWWW! There's a WING on his TOOTH!


Still, I quoted some views that I read in the news -

('Cos what they say in the papers must be true)

But he said - "my dear fellow - you're turning quite yellow!

Please drink this - some processed Fly brew!"


He gave me a plate full of Fly

And a little grey wriggling Louse

So I tasted the lice. And guess what? It was nice.

So Tony invited me round to his house...


Now I know that it's naughty to slander,

And I know that it's wrong to tell lies -

So I'll be round at Blair's house, a-feasting on Louse -

And boiled, baked, battered, steamed FLY.


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I Saw Tony Blair Eating Flies!

Blowfly-Maggot Kransky - a love song

From Ivan Bob Polanski


Good day, Mistress or Madamski

My name is Ivan Bob Polanski

Kom try my Blowfly-maggot Kransky


We will join hands, we will danski

Eating Blowfly-maggot Kransky


We will kiss and make romanski

Over Blowfly-maggot Kransky.


Kom on, darlink, take a chanski

Try my Blowfly-maggot Kransky


We'll grow old, darlink, reading Gramski

And eating Blowfly-maggot Kransky


So farewell, Mistress or Madamski

Think of me, Ivan Bob Polanski

When you are eating next BLOWFLY-MAGGOT KRANSKY.


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Flies Around the World: A Culinary Diary

Flies around the world - a culinary diary

From Seamus Sillypoppins Majorus, BA, PhD, MSuH, To Colonel Larvae Teryaki of Squadron B of the Royal Fly Force


I've shared them with chips with the chaps on the ships

That belong to Her Majesties Navy,

Skolling bottles of ale, and braving the gales,

Singing ballads to Mr. Jones, Davy.


I've had them on smoko in Tokyo city,

Marinated in Saki with my friend Mrs. Aki,

(A lady both witty and exceptionally pretty),

My dear Colonel Larvae Teryaki.


I've had them, by chance, with champagne, in France,

And camembert cheese, in 'Paree',

In Tours - Mon dieu! - with a tasty fondue! -,

But all the Italians could serve me was - FLEAS!


I've had them with sauce on the back of a horse

With Mr. Chirac in the heart of Iraq.

I've had picked fly dish with Mr. George Bush,

My dear Colonel Larvae Teryiaki.


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How Do you make Fly Pie?

 

How do you make Fly Pie?

Take an eeny-teeny fly

And slice it and dice it,

Take a great big black blowie

And toast it and roast it,

Throw the flies in a pot,

And taste them and baste them

And paste them - and mix them all up!

And that's how you make Fly Pie! 


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How do you make Fly-Pie?

 

Would you like to write a Fly Poem? Send in your fly poems and stories to me and I'll put them up!!!

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