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Sad? Yes, but at least we get sex.Being a man, a hairy, belching, moaning as I urinate, hard-working man, I absolutely hate to admit the very thing that has lingered in our minds since birth. Could it truly be, are we.. honestly the submissive sex? Today, as I was watching the Browns win over Green Bay, I glanced over at a good friend of mine who was quickly devouring nachos, I then released a rancid cloud of gas, grumbled, and jammed my hand into my pants to give myself a relieving scratch. I enjoyed being completely relaxed, slouching on the lazy boy as if I had just spent the entire day working hard chopping wood. It was a man's environment, not giving a single thought about what we looked like or what others thought of us, it destroyed all tension and nervousness you had in our bodies. On several occasions, I've actually had people fall asleep on my couch in the middle of the day right after lunch or dinner because of the fact that they were so relaxed. They had nothing to hide or to prove to anyone else there. This wasn't the occasion this time though. Suddenly, another good friend of mine waltzed in the door with two very nice looking young women. Instantly, my man instincts turned to shit and I stopped thinking. The hand in my pants hastily exited as the girls found their respective places on my furniture. All three of the men's personalities changed instantaneously to a more nicer, kinder, smooth, and loving type of person. We didn't have to remind anyone to do this, there was no secret code, we all simply KNEW what our boundaries were then. The females, like predators, knew they had us in their grasp, we were done for..... Just how in the hell do they do this to us? Some days a man can look at a woman in complete disgust, wishing that her mouth would magically seal up and her goddamn 'cute' fetish would be considered a sin punishable by a swift bitch-slap. Other days, however, we are pathetic slaves to their every whim and we're forced to endure circumstances that can be compared to hell. I'm here to explain the interesting phenomenon known as the human female. First off, there is the obvious fact that they intimidate us with simply looking the way they do, wearing skirts or tight pants, showing off their legs, cleavage, or even an innocent smile. Us, being men, we are attracted to this, and this attraction is TRULY unexplainable, therefore I'm not going to attempt. Just know that they are the most beautiful thing imaginable. We look at an attractive woman with the greatest awe and it's sometimes quite obvious that we are doing so. Women know this, god they know this, and they use it to their advantage. Living with a woman for quite sometime taught me many many things about them. On nights that she would have her friends over as they went to go out, her friends would actually talk about using their bodies and general womanness to get what they wanted that night. Once, a friend of her's had 5 dollars, went out, drank plenty of liquor, ate dinner, and came back to my house with 3 dollars and 67 cents, but that was only because she found a 'cute bunny keychain' on the way to the party. She successfully seduced some poor ass at the party to buy everything for her that night, and actually gave him a false phone number so that he wouldn't be able to get ahold of her. She did all this without even giving the poor soul a kiss goodnight. If that isn't power, I don't know what is. Men, sensitive or cold-hearted, always look at a girl they are interested in with pure fantasy. Our intelligence and manliness usually disappears and we find ourselves being revolting vomitous masses doing whatever pleases them. Inside, emotionally, we feel that by pleasing them we are getting the better deal out of it, we are being graced by their beauty, cunning, and excellence. There are two types of men in this world, single and owned. First, I'll explain what it's like to be owned. You know you are a slave to a woman when you start missing her when she's gone to get groceries or whatnot. Now, don't misunderstand me, I don't mean slave as in going to get things for her all the time, or buying her things all the time, I mean emotional attachment that can only be remedied when you're near her. If things are going her way, and she has complete and absolute control over your heart, she rules her prize (you) with a happy face, giving you sex whenever she feels up to it, being sweet, thoughtful, sexy, all the things a man like yourself needs in a relationship, however, if you start thinking for yourself, she becomes territorial, and tightens the choke collar around your neck. She'll do a series of VICIOUS routines that rip your insides to disintegrated bits. If it's something small, she'll give you that look...that sad puppy dog look, with those eyes and her lower lip quivering. This is very dangerous, you have to try to avoid this at all costs, because once you glance into those eyes even for a moment, you're fucked beyond anal repair. You have to do whatever she asked, it's just not possible to say no. However, once in a while if it's not during her period, she'll try to seduce you. Now this, hell, I don't mind when she does this at all. I'll happily do whatever she asks if I get to have her lying naked on top of me for a couple hours. I only brought this up because it ties into women having immense power over us. They can get anything they want with a simple bending over to tie their shoe with their luscious perfect ass pointing straight towards Stanley, the power tool, himself. Sometimes, when the situation is serious enough, you can withstand her puppy dog face, and her sexual offers, but are beaten back into your cage when she gets upset with you. On the inside, you're a fairly sensitive guy, caring, and you enjoy her company very much, but because you miss her when she's gone and you'd be miserable without her to help you through the day, you're forced to apologize and then do whatever she asked. It's hell... And now, the single man. They're not so bad off as being owned. They still have their pride, they can still enjoy being a man and talking about a girl they met a few days back with the biggest rack they've seen before. Single men are worst in packs. I'll explain this. A girl gets a single guy alone, and all of the sudden, he's Buddy Holly, doing anything she wants, trying to be cool, being sincere, heartfelt, or whatever she wants, on the other hand, if a woman gets two guys alone, both of them are telling her how luscious her tits are, or one is telling her that his friend just wants her body, and that he's being sincere and likes her for who she is. Bullshit. It's pathetic, the two friends sell each other out just so they have a chance at getting the woman. No sir, I don't like it. We become like dogs, begging, salivating, and biting each other just for the piece of meat that we all know is going to be shit out at the end. The goddess known as the common attractive young woman - I'm about to tell you the worst part about all this, the KNOW everything I've told you. They have strategies to use against you. Why do you think skirts were invented? Because men would spend all day long hoping that she spreads her legs wide enough for us to catch a glimpse of bush. Why do they wear make-up? Why do they fix their hair? Wear perfume? Low-cut shirts? Walk with one foot criss-crossing the other? Why do you think panties and bras are lacy, thongs, push-up, see-through, colored, or scented? Because they knew that this will tighten their control over men everywhere, they knew that there would be that one teenage boy jerking off to Victoria's Secret's catalog and who would one day have a slave-driving wife. I tell you one thing, it's certainly not for comfort reasons. I can't tell you how many times I've heard a woman complain of the wire underneath her bra. Women will make sacrifices to gather their flock of sheep into their barn just so she can choose which one she likes best. Girls will walk with their panties up their butt crack for a good 30 yards before it bothers them enough to pull it out. Women!! .....Anyway, even now, I have two girls sleeping in my queen sized bed while I'm forced to take the sofa and another friend of mine is stuck with the floor. What can I do about this? Just how in the sweet world of doggy-style fucking did this happen? Hell, I have no idea! We may not understand their reasoning for many of the things they do, but it's all part of their master plan. There's something very important to remember about all of it though, never EVER try to understand a woman's mind, it's impossible, instead, just deal with it, continue being under female rule with the awareness I'm providing for you right now, because in the words of the great Neko, "Yeah, but it's all worth it." |