Disclaimer: This newsletter contains explicit language and adult situations, and is sent to over twenty-five subscribers with great hair, fresh breath, and winning personalities. If you would like to stop receiving this newsletter, stand on one leg and cluck like a chicken.This issue is brought to you by the letter "E" for Eunuch. If I can't be unique, I'll take the closest-sounding thing instead.
In this issue:
Cat's Official Week
Topic 1) We'll Go Forward
Topic 2) How to Be Unique
Topic 3) Song of the Week
Topic 4) Webpage of the Week
Topic 5) Quote of the WeekCat's Official Week:
Shit, I don't know. Make it Give Blood Week or something.Topic 1) We'll Go Forward: - Submitted by Val
BY LEONARD PITTS, JR.
leonardpitts@mindspring.comIt's my job to have something to say.
They pay me to provide words that help make sense of that which troubles the American soul. But in this moment of airless shock when hot tears sting disbelieving eyes, the only thing I can find to say, the only words that seem to fit, must be addressed to the unknown author of this suffering.
You monster. You beast. You unspeakable bastard.
What lesson did you hope to teach us by your coward's attack on our World Trade Center, our Pentagon, us? What was it you hoped we would learn? Whatever it was, please know that you failed.
Did you want us to respect your cause? You just damned your cause.
Did you want to make us fear? You just steeled our resolve.
Did you want to tear us apart? You just brought us together.
Let me tell you about my people. We are a vast and quarrelsome family, a family rent by racial, social, political and class division, but a family nonetheless.
We're frivolous, yes, capable of expending tremendous emotional energy on pop cultural minutiae -- a singer's revealing dress, a ball team's misfortune, a cartoon mouse. We're wealthy, too, spoiled by the ready availability of trinkets and material goods, and maybe because of that, we walk through life with a certain sense of blithe entitlement. We are fundamentally decent, though -- peace-loving and compassionate. We struggle to know the right thing and to do it. And we are, the overwhelming majority of us, people of faith, believers in a just and loving God.
Some people -- you, perhaps -- think that any or all of this makes us weak. You're mistaken. We are not weak. Indeed, we are strong in ways that cannot be measured by arsenals.IN PAIN
Yes, we're in pain now. We are in mourning and we are in shock. We're still grappling with the unreality of the awful thing you did, still working to make ourselves understand that this isn't a special effect from some Hollywood blockbuster, isn't the plot development from a Tom Clancy novel. Both in terms of the awful scope of their ambition and the probable final death toll, your attacks are likely to go down as the worst acts of terrorism in the history of the United States and, probably, the history of the world. You've bloodied us as we have never been bloodied before.
But there's a gulf of difference between making us bloody and making us fall. This is the lesson Japan was taught to its bitter sorrow the last time anyone hit us this hard, the last time anyone brought us such abrupt and monumental pain. When roused, we are righteous in our outrage, terrible in our force. When provoked by this level of barbarism, we will bear any suffering, pay any cost, go to any length, in the pursuit of justice.
I tell you this without fear of contradiction. I know my people, as you, I think, do not. What I know reassures me. It also causes me to tremble with dread of the future.
In the days to come, there will be recrimination and accusation, fingers pointing to determine whose failure allowed this to happen and what can be done to prevent it from happening again. There will be heightened security, misguided talk of revoking basic freedoms. We'll go forward from this moment sobered, chastened, sad. But determined, too. Unimaginably determined.THE STEEL IN US
You see, the steel in us is not always readily apparent. That aspect of our character is seldom understood by people who don't know us well. On this day, the family's bickering is put on hold.
As Americans we will weep, as Americans we will mourn, and as Americans, we will rise in defense of all that we cherish.
So I ask again: What was it you hoped to teach us? It occurs to me that maybe you just wanted us to know the depths of your hatred. If that's the case, consider the message received. And take this message in exchange: You don't know my people. You don't know what we're capable of. You don't know what you just started.
But you're about to learn.Topic 2) How to Be Unique: - By Me
Rule #1 Never match. It's boring.
Rule #2 Don't care what others think of you. Always be yourself, even if you have no idea who that is.
Rule #3 Always keep it fresh. Come up with new ideas constantly, and don't be afraid of your really stupid/crazy ideas. Don't recycle too much. (Try not to get yourself known at the "Cold Gravy Girl.")
Rule #4 Don't worry about having reasons for what you do. Have reasons for what you don't do.
Rule #5 Don't win the damn popularity contest that's known at Central as "Senior Superlatives." (Sorry, Alex, Jenni.)
Rule #5.5 Don't get mad at Lori Goodman. She didn't do anything wrong.
Rule #6 Don't follow my advice. If you turn out exactly like me, then you're not unique, obviously.
Rule #7 There are no rules. So disregard everything you just read. Topic 3) Cat's Song of the Week:
"Loser" by Beck, in honor of myself and all the other losers on the ballot. Topic 4) Webpage of the Week:
The World of Frida Kahlo: http://members.aol.com/fridanet/kahlo.htm Topic 5) Quote of the Week:
"In times like these, rumors will spread like mildew in a wet basement." - Dan Rather (and yet another reason not to watch CBS) Closing:
Have a better week everyone. Thanks to all y'all who voted for me. At least I'm semi-popular!
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