Disclaimer: This newsletter contains explicit language and adult situations, and is sent to almost thirty subscribers with great hair, fresh breath, and winning personalities. If you would like to stop receiving this newsletter, email Bethany at BassBaby169@yahoo.com because she never reads this thing anyway. This issue brought to you by the letters 'F' and 'U'. Haha, just clowning...In this issue:
Cat's Official Week
Topic 1) Why Band Is a Cult
Topic 2) Maybe My Next New Year's Resolution...
Topic 3) Song of the Week
Topic 4) Webpage of the Week
Topic 5) Quote of the Week Cat's Official Week:
This is Drug-Free Week! So be cool and buy a ribbon proclaiming, "I like me drug free!" Topic 1) Why Band Is a Cult: - By Me
Ok, non-band members, answer me this: Don't you just feel like hurling when you simply hear the term "marching band"? Yeah, me too.
First, let me share a textbook definition of the term 'cult': an exclusive group of persons sharing an esoteric interest, often used derogatorily. Now let me find a synonym for esoteric, since I have no freakin' idea what it means...Ah, ok, put this one in your English papers...it means intended for, limited to, or understood by only a small group.
This means that even the band groupies (as so I've been called) cannot actually be accepted as part of Band, because there will always be exclusivity. So if you don't spend every waking moment with Band, then you are not a band geek and never will be.
And why do the band clowns ask, even when I had a sister in color guard, "What are you doing here; why are you supporting us?" I mean, if someone comes to our Chorus concert because they wanna see their friends perform, or simply on a whim, we don't ask why. We're just happy that our peers recognize that we actually have talent.
Also really bothersome is that band kids are their own best friends. I mean, yeah, they all have friends outside of marching band, but with who do they have the best memories? And why do they date each other? I mean, last year, I even referred to the color guard as the "band's brothel." I tried to put this into my own perspective, and I came to the conclusion that dating a chorus guy would seem too much like dating a brother. And that's pretty sad, considering that chorus kids only see each other an hour a day, unlike band, which spends almost every waking moment together from the beginning of August until Novemberish.
Then there are the cliques within Band. The flute players, the "trum-pots", etc. (I'm not even in the stupid cult and I can see the sects that have been created.) There's the people who hate one another, and those cliques that don't like each other. It's like a damn religion or something. And, pissing me off the most, are the not-so-friendly vibes that [almost] the entire band emanates when you get too close to them at football games. (Watch it, I think they bite.) Actually, at the game last week, I felt kind of accepted by the band, more so than ever before. But, in hindsight, I think it was just a fluke. Yeah, that many rabid band geeks looking down on me, it had to be.
I'm sorry if I've offended any band members with this. You're all still my friends. I just thought I'd bring an outsider's opinion to your attention. (And remember, I'm only talking about Central's marching band here, since it's the only one I know well.)
Moral of the story: Band is NOT life. And if I were you, I would readily welcome any supporters of my talents. But maybe that's just me.Topic 2) Maybe My Next New Year's Resolution... - By Matthew
Ask most men what's on their secret wish list, and at some point they'll say "a washboard stomach." True, it falls behind "wealth" and "power" on the list, but its way ahead of "bowel regularity." A rock-hard gut is a status symbol of fitness. Men want it, women (and some men) love to touch it, and small children like to bask in the shady ripples. That's because its more than a rippling midsection...hard abs are just plain sexy, no two ways about it. Fit people have a natural magnetism about them, and frankly, I am insanely jealous. I also know I am not the only one out there who's more than a little self-concsious. If we lived in a land where everyone were twinkies, I'd feel a lot better about my gooey center. Try as I might, I can never resist that second bowl of Häagen-Dazs Rum Raisin or wake up early enough to do those one hundred morning crunches. Oh well. I'd rather have the sleep! Who needs rabbit food anyway? I could get hit by a bus on the way to the gym! Topic 3) Cat's Song of the Week:
"Little Things" by Good Charlotte Topic 4) Webpage of the Week:
www.snopes2.com Topic 5) Quote of the Week:
"Why is there a gaggle of nuns at our front door?" - from the cartoon "Pepper Ann" Closing:
Tuesdays are working out a bit better than Saturday nights for mailing this thing, it seems. Oh well, this is a procrastinator's production. By the way, I attached a copy of my Homecoming picture, since I kinda ran out of wallets to give to people. The guy is Grant (for those of you who don't know), and yes, he's about a foot taller than me, if you care.
Hope you all have a good week, and keep it drug-free.Previous Edition | Next Edition [ Get Involved | Home | Songs | Archives | Quotes | Websites ]
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