Disclaimer: This newsletter contains explicit language and adult situations, and is not intended for use while operating heavy machinery. If you would like to stop receiving this newsletter, email Daniel at DanDaP82@aol.com because he never talks to me.Wow, we actually have some guy-input this week. A new concept.
In this issue:
Cat's Official Week
Topic 1) The Woo! Article
Topic 2) The Garden of Eden
Topic 3) Feeling a Bit Gassed
Topic 3) Song of the Week
Topic 4) Webpage of the Week
Topic 5) Quote of the Week
Cat's Official Week:
This one is Summer Reading Week. Better get crackin'.
Topic 1) The Woo! Article - By Me (Cat)
Okay, too many things have happened within the last week to just pick one and write an article about it. So I'm just gonna do a bunch of Woo!s. What's a "Woo!", you ask? Well, it's just a hook to start a conversation out of the blue. It can be good, such as, "Woo! I just saw the cutest guy!" or bad, such as, "Woo! The pizza guy hasn't come and I'm starving!" It could even be indifferent, I guess, kinda like, "Woo! I'm rambling and need to write a better article!"
So here are my Woo!s:
Woo! That Marvelous 3 show was crazy!
Woo! I think my sternum has made it back to its original size!
Woo! My room actually has a floor!
Woo! This article isn't half as good as I thought it would be!
Woo! The movie theater sucked tonight!
Woo! For the first time, I actually saw people from Central at the Carmike!
Woo! The car will be completely mine soon!
Woo! I'm naming it Vlad!
Woo! Rocky & Bullwinkle rock!
Woo! My feet are cold!
Woo! There's nothing else to Woo! about.
Ok, this one will go down at the worst one ever written. Sorry to clog your precious minds with my stream-of-consciousness crap. Woo! This article sucks!Topic 2) The Garden of Eden: - (Submitted) by Matt "René" Walega
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.
"Lord, I have a problem!"
"Eve, my child, what is troubling you?"
"Lord, I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden where I never have to work filled with all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely...and sick to death of eating apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have the solution for you. I shall create for you a man."
"What's a man, Lord?"
"This man of which I speak will be a flawed creature with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But...he'll be bigger, stronger, faster, and like to hunt and kill things. I will create him in such a way that he will suit your physical needs, but he will be witless and lazy and revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great!" exclaims Eve with a raised eyebrow...but what's the catch Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud and arrogant and self-admiring...so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember...it's our little secret..."You know...woman to woman."
Topic 3) Feeling a Bit Gassed: - By Alex
Just so everybody knows, getting your wisdom teeth out is not as bad as most people say. I got mine out Monday, and now it's Wednesday. I have had very little swelling (just one side making my face look lopsided), and I can't eat hard food either. I was going under with the IV and laughing gas, and this is what I said to the nurse, the last thing I remember...Alex: excuse me, nurse?
Nurse 1: yes
Alex: do you have a Band-Aid?
Nurse 1: what for?
Alex: because I scraped my knee when I fell for you!
Nurse 1: hahaha
Nurse 2: hahaha
Nurse 3: hahaha
Nurse 4: hahaha
Dr. 1: hahahaTopic 4) Cat's Song of the Week:
"Sugarbuzz" by Marvelous 3. Well, how long did you think I could go without using a Marvies tune?Topic 5) Webpage of the Week:
www.ecrush.comTopic 6) Quote of the Week:
"We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance." - Japanese ProverbClosing:
Thanks Alex and Matt for those lovely articles that put mine to shame. Have a good week y'all. Hope to see a lot of ya at registration. (Gee, can't wait, I know...)Previous Edition | Next Edition [ Get Involved | Home | Songs | Archives | Quotes | Websites ]
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