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Will I be Published??!!?
Biography Short
Resume
Fun Resume
Acting Resume
Poetry
New Poetry
JVC Letter: Reflection on Year
Some of My Favorite Sites
1) Kegs and Eggs - Oscar's (God help us!)
2) Boot to the Skull - I'm conservative, and
I'm scared.
Pittsburgh vs. Boston vs. Sea Isle
Cashback Shopping - I've actually gotten checks for this.
Internet Money Makers - If played right.
Stories Parents Should Make Their Children
Read if They Don't Want Them to Drink"
(It's a working title.)
Copyright 2000 Thomas Farren
1. These are only teasers and, while meant to entertain out of the context of the completed work, do
not wholly represent the work in theme, style, content or moral.
2. All representations to actual persons, events, places, things, animals, minerals and vegetables
is completely and utterly a coincidence, except where permission was granted to paraphrase, in which case, names, dates, places, etc were changed to protect the (not so) innocent.
3. If you are involved in the story and I have some facts, whatever, wrong, please e-mail me and let me know so I can make appropriate changes. Thanks.
4. The basic point of this compilation was to bring together all the crazy stories my friends and I have from our days of drinking, and make it out as if one character did all of this to illustrate the point that while we all had fun, we realize we were lucky in many instances. We should not drink to excess like this. All you kids at home pay attention. Nah, I really just wanted to be able to laugh about these stories years from now and thought it'd be neat to make it one continuous version. So, people involved know who the actual characters are; any "I" references in the story refer to Tommy Grelsh, not to me. More details will be forthcoming once I complete this.
Hit me Please!
This one was just stupid on my part. It was either senior year of high school, or freshman year of college. Mike Flanigan is having a party since his parents are away. Any Flanigan party involves copious amounts of alcohol, and plenty of people. I proceed to get into several drinking matches and am pretty lit by 10 pm. About that time, Mrs. Flanigan calls. Now, a key point is that no one is supposed to be over the house. Just Mike and his siblings. So what do I do? As Mike is talking to her, I am in the background, thinking I'm funny, saying things like, "Hey Mike, who's that?... Mike pass me that beer. ... The keg just got here, ..." etc.
Mike keeps his cool on the phone, but once he hangs up he kind of yells at me - a mixture of anger and disappointment. Then I get upset and start apologizing. I don't actually know what happened next because I was too drunk, but this is what I've been told: apparently I would not leave him alone. I kept nagging him saying how sorry I was. All he wanted to do was sit down, have a beer and let it go. I'm told he kept telling me it was fine, to leave him alone. But I, trying to overcompensate, begin telling him to hit me. I deserve it. It'll make him feel better. At this point, it is not just him I am following. There are now like 3 people telling me to let it go. He's okay, he just wants to drop it. But I keep telling him to hit me. Suddenly, someone intercepts us and he goes outside. As soon as I can get away, I keep looking for him. I find him sitting outside with a beer talking to Johnny. I walk over to him and say, "C'mon, Mike, hit me..." He cuts me off with "Fine!" as he drops his beer, jumps out of his seat and decks me in the eye. Johnny says it was one quick motion. I drop to the ground, everybody looks to see what happened. Mike walks away and people take care of me. I wake up the next day with a black eye the size of a grapefruit, of which we took a picture to commemorate the night.
Everybody else finished the party and had a good time. That's what they told me anyway.