 |
 |
 |
 |
| Hi! Welcome to my very special page! My name is Valerie Tittibollocks and I live in sunny California in the good old US of A! |
 |
| I live in an apartment where everything looks like the decorations off of a wedding cake. Ribbons and cherubs adorn the walls, pillars and columns line the hallway and my den is full of sickly flowers and lace! Photographs of children with large heads and big shiney teeth are positioned stratigically so you see them wherever you are positioned! My kitchen has 3 TVs in it and the TV in the den is in a cabinet only 3 inches off of the floor. |
| The carpet in my apartment is a thick shag pile. The den has a light pink collar, the hallway, beige, the bedrooms have white and blue which matches my crib. Here are a few of my friends who live near me, but not in as nice buildings. |
|
| This is Tracheller. She works as a monster in low budget movies. She sometimes comes over to stare at my beautiful looks. She's an itty bitty man like but I alway give her my leftovers as I am a very caring person. She could do with a makeover really! |
| This is Freaky Theaky! She's just a gas! We have a ball and sometimes we have beauty tips sleepover pyjama party prom night pageant queen pinanas! She is game for ANYTHING! We often cruse the boulevards in our open top convertables looking for talent and drinking Ben Shaw's shandy! |
| Bear with me as this page is still under construction! I am having a manicure in the meantime! |
 |
| II began my glamoross modeling career at the tender age of six hours when my MOM, Glench Weidersteinn Tittibollox, entered me into a baby pageant. I was paraded before a panel of fat disturbed |
| judges and I nearly came second if it wasn't for the heroic actions of my POP. He saved the day, (and my honorr) by stabbing the opposition baby in the face, making her "gross" looking! |
| I then went on to become the glamoross pre-teen beauty in Arcansas and won a night with a man who made me do things to get famoss! This helped me to learn how to perform on camera. I starred in soft erotic porn after that, with plaggy knockers and a cunt wi an oblong twat hair style, taking my skimpy under-crackers darn in front of blokes in tuxedos (white ones!) . I now own this apartment and I know I am better looking than all you women out there because my MOMMY says so! Gee whizz! 24/7! Ass!Color! Humor! Vacation! Toozday! Teeter fucking Totter and more ballax that we Yanks twist and misspell! |
 |
| Yesterday, like me and Tracheller droved to the famoss Hollywood hills and had a ball. (I made Tracheller hide in a bunch of bushes so noone would like see me with her!) In the piccy, I'm drinking a can of Ben Shaws Dandylion & Burdock. You can see Tracheller hiding there in a bunch of bushes to the right, no, to the left *giggle*. We had a whole bunch of fun there. I spent hours looking at my reflection in windows, whiles Tracheller spent hours hiding in trash cans and behind fat birds. We went down the boulevard in my convertable that MOM bort me last TOOZDAY. I saw some pretty hot asses there, along with some donkeys and that. Tomorrow, I'm taking Freaky Theaky to a quaint Brit "Pub" to experience first hand Brit life. We shall be throwing boomerangs, eating snails and drinking Guinness! (Maybe a pint of Tetley's bitter anorl!) I had mi cunt enhanced today. It cost zillions to do, but the surgeon "Felbert Zimmersteinbloomengoldbergman" told me that I had the sweetest lil tush he ever did see in the whole wide world! I love that guy! He simply cracks me up an meks mi wet mi kex! Anyways, that's all for this week. I have a whole bunch of stuff to do like mi nails, powder mi twat, sup sum Ben Shaws and watch Bay Watch off of Telly. See y'all soon less beautiful women! |
| Please give thoughts to those people who died in the Empire State Building on September 11th. May those dirty Japs get their comeuppence one day! |
| (N.B. Only links number 2 to 5 work just yet as I haven't got off of me arse to put others on .) |