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(There is absolutely nothing wrong with your head. It is the reality misfunction. Don't worry. Just lie back and relax. It will soon go away.) fnord.


Below is a list of our very own collection of eristic writings. Rest assured that they are all one hundred percent genuine spiritually enlightening scriptures of not just a merely dubious nature. Not only that but Eris has some other plans as well. Upon reading these scriptures, you too, can be as confused as we are! Speaking of non-sequiturs, have you hailed your Goddess today?

Why did we do this?
Boredom, one thing. We had to do something, though we are lazy. Thanks to the persistence of Eris, we finally got around to going through our huge collection and posting it here. In the many years since we started this project, we have collected tons more Erisiana.

In the coming months, we will post both more of our own collection from the archive as well as others' submissions. Currently we have some Erisian Revelations and other weird contributions, StKallista's Fifth Chapter of her Gospel, as well as a many other things by Erisians and others.

We have found many interesting things in the archives, rest assured that we will take our time in getting those up.

The list will be added to and updated as we get more of the archives up and more of the contributions emailed to us over the past couple years get added. And rest assured, unless you'd rather be bothered, that we have trained monkeys who are out there gathering more Erisian writings even as you read this. If you have any Erisian/Discordian writings you wish to see here, your submissions are welcome. For details, see our contact page.

-last page update: February 7th, 2009



Nothing is wrong with your screen, it is your perception that is malfunctioning. Please consult your pineal glands for instructions, intuitions, predictions, and sometimes irritating silence.


I HAVE SEEN THE PARANOIDS WATCHING ME!!!!! fnord

If you think the problem's bad now, wait until we've solved it.



Erisian Revelations and Writings

Eris, Goddess of Love
A piece which reveals Eris as Goddess of Love by the Reverend Vincent Verthaine of the Church of Eris.
Kerry Thornley's Introduction
This important piece of Erisiana comes from the introduction to the Fifth Edition of the Principia Discordia.
Conversations With Eris
Our current Episkopos, the Princess Mandarava, talks with Eris. Because of this, can you trust either one of them?
Irreverend Hugh's Rants: Volume Two
That's right. We found them in the archives and have posted them here. (We wouldn't have had to go through the trouble if he had left them here in the first place.)
The NAFR DJ Sermons of Irrev. Hugh
We found these in the archives too. Reposted the way they were originally.
The Path of Chaos
As revealed to Irreverend (formerly St.) Hugh, by Our Lady of Discord. All five parts are included here, according to the original revelation (though the first part contains some of the very first PMM Erisian liturgical pieces). Since the first part was finished, it took about 1 and 1/2 years for the Irreverend to finally write down the rest of it in the way he claims it was first revealed.
The Temptations of Reverend Verthaine the Goth
An early revelation from the Founder of the Church of Eris, which are our cohorts.
A Fable of Five
A fable dealing with relevant epistemological issues from an Erisian perspective.
A Discordian Glossary of Some Terms
The glossary from "A Concise Guide to Discordianism" which is in our Library/Archive.
In The Cards
Eris and Yahweh like to sit down to a good game every now and then. There are always jokers in the deck, you know.
Chaos is...
A short sermon written and delivered by Irreverend Hugh about parts of chaos we don't like to mention.
Five Silly Misconceptions About Discordianism
This has been circulating for years now. It's a sad shame that most Discordians still argue from the same misconceptions. But they'll catch on.
The Myth of the Nipples
A classic bit of Erisiana that we have used many times as an introduction for new members. If you've ever wonder why men have nipples but give no milk...
On Liberty: with Malaclypse the Elder
A so-called libertarian meets an honest to Goddess actual free person. Here's what was written of the account.
An Erisian Prayer
This classic prayer is a perennial favorite of the PMM, and others. It has appeared in the "Book of Life," the "Apocrypha Discordia," and in "The Book of Eris."
On Heaven and Hell
Some thoughts about heaven and hell from an awakened standpoint.
Washing: An Erisian Fable
An old fable from the dawn of humanity's attraction to stupidity. It is a concise explanation of much of what motivates people, even today, despite claims to the contrary.
Hellfire and Damnation
An anonymous text culled from the mass of Erisiana out there. It describes our special blend of aftermathacious apocalypse.
The Kitten Sermon
Wherein it is explained/declared by Irrev. Hugh what we are doing to defend the kittens. (Also see the pic at the top of this page.)
The Gospel of StKallista (Chapter 5)
St. Kallista is now taking down revelations and scriptures from Eris. Here is one of the fragments she has shared.
ExChristian Testimonials
The results of our Counter-Evangelism efforts. This page will grow as we get more testimonials from our newer Erisian sisters and brothers who have escaped Christianity.
The First Erisian Revelation
The Erisian Revelation from the Principia Discordia, detailing the Birth of the Erisian Movement.
Mu-Tan's Declaration
Just when you thought you were above the herd, it turns out that the herd is above you, possibly. Could this be a blatant example of Cowist propaganda?
The Goddess Eris
What we know and think of Eris, as explained by Irreverend Hugh. It was first published on Daven's Journal and we have seen fit to include it here.
The Five Visions of the Golden Apple
Robert Anton Wilson's own particular version of what happened that day some 3170 years ago when Eris rolled the Apple of Discord into the feast on Mt. Olympus (Limbo Peak).
St. Spew's Cut-Up
The distilled wisdom, or lack thereof, of Irreverend Hugh's Rants (vol.1), through the nervous system and chaos of gnimbley the gnome.
Erisian Revelations
Some more revelations gathered by the likes of us.
The One True Faith
How all religions are really aspects of Discordianism (and why would we wish to exclude anyone on the mere technicality of their not-knowing that they are Discordians? Hmm?).
Meanings (a story)
A little Discordian story based on a dream, or nightmare, or what-have-you.
Eris's Sledgehammer
Otherwise known as 'Why you might not wish to be a Purple Monkey Mafia member'
How to Witness to Christians
Some suggestions on how to do to them what they do to you, but having more fun while doing it.
Irish Gaelic Pentabarf
Eris has decided to speak to the Irish Gaelic-speaking world.
Against Kabbalah Lite!
Bringing the Tree of Life back on track. In case you were wondering.
PMM Statement One
The first PMM statement in which the "basis" is alluded to.
PMM Statement Two
The second PMM statement in which the "path" is refered to. Weird layout, like any path.
PMM Statement Three
The third PMM statement in which the "fruition" is posited.
PMM Statement Four (The Latest Spiel)
The fourth statement establishing the nuttery of Erisianism.
Another Discordian Manifesto
Excerpts from the 3rd Manifesto by 23AE in a nice concise and easy to read format for your pineal pleasure.
The White Mouse Rants
The White Mouse was actually the first ranter of the PMM. (Or was it StKallista?)
Grayfacery
St. Panthea and Rabbi Shi Huigan talk a little about grayfacery and fundamentalism, along with the quotation from the Principia Discordia we all know and love.
Eristic Erudition?
A collection of quotes from the writings of both Cabal members and others from the world of Discordia. It also contains the first PMM manifesto, if your into that sort of thing. This was some of the first stuff posted on this site. Thus we insist on keeping it here.
Hakim Bey's "Chaos"
A little tract part of a larger work that Hakim Bey wrote. We like to shout it out at the top of our lungs during weird chaoist ceremonies. Try it out for yourselves. Also check out his piece called Sorcery.
Commentaries on...
An example of the kind of conversations we have. It also could be a text containing secret occult keys or mystical knowledge. Who knows?
Is the Glass Half Empty or Half Full?
Due to technical difficulties we must assault your Televated senses with this chaoist take on an old metaphor. From the 'Book of Eris'. It is a very important message, at some point.
Irreverend Hugh's Sermons on Eristicism
Wherein much is said about many things such as greyfaces, rats, the system, and the Discordian Jihad. All 17 sermons are herein.
The Book of the Tequila Mistica Cabal
The tome bearing sacred mystical Erisian wisdom that was discovered by the PMM.
A New Office
An old memo setting up a new office in the fight against stupdity.
Abolish Stupidity
Another old memo which calls for the Abolition of Stupidity. A bit on the light side.
SssBella's Vision, the First
A story by one of the early contributors from back when other Episkopi misdirected the joint.
The Discourses of St. Trollax, O.D.D.
Erisian writings from St. Trollax, another early contributor. (Trollax was once an honorary PMM member, as you all might be. (We'll have to check on that, parenthetically.))
The Dishonest Book of Truths
As revealed to us by Irrev. Hugh, who swore up and down that Eris dictated it to him. It's not that we don't believe him as much as we don't believe Eris's story about the matter.




The Sacred Chao

The Hodge and the Podge
This is the Sacred Chao. Purple Monkeys of the Discordian persuasion meditate on its profundity at least once or twice; sometimes even many times. It was this symbol that the Blessed Hung Mung saw way back when. Later on when Lao Tzu was granted such a vision upon enlightenment from Hung Mung, the sun got in his eyes. Thus Lao Tzu could only make out some of it.Today, Lao Tzu's rendering is known as the yin-yang. BTW- it IS pronounced like 'cow'. Muuuuuuuuuuu! And that's another story for another page.
If You Arrived Here from Off Site

See the links below as well as navigation at the top left of this page.
Our Site Map
Our site map, in case you got here from lost. If you came here from off-site, go to the PMM Home Page.
PMM Links
Our huge links page filled with all sorts of entertaining and informative site-links.
Contact Us
In case any of you out there should wish to get in touch with us. We always respond, even though it may take several days. If you wish to submit any Erisian writings or what-have-yous, this is the page to go to.



Fear the Coming Day of the FnoRd!
Beware of God! She is Out of Order!

Níl aon Bhandia ann ach Bandiasa agus is Ise do Bhandia! Tá tú saor!
Ní rud ar bith fíor! Tá gach rud ceadaithe!

Ionsoilsigh an Freasúra!


KALLISTI!

Erisiana page v4, Bureaucracy 43rd, 3172