| Ever feel like you may belong to the private sect of the population known as the Ottish? Ah-hah, my friend, follow me on a grand adventure through magical conspiracies that the general public can never know................ |
| Then, my ottish padowan, trek forth!!! Click below, and hope you survive! |
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| The Ottish foresee strange forces at work Professor's Conspiracy Corner |
| Quotes!!!! -Extra legs for the table!! -Sometimes it takes hard work for good sex. -It's probably friendlier than the coffee table! -When frostbite sets in, I'm so shoving my hand up my ass. -I'd claw that woman's insides out with my penis! -Skinny chicks fuck to the death. -It's not about the driving, it's about being high! -That's funnily sad. -You're such a fucking Gina! (Jy-na) -I have enough testicles to keep me awake. -Stop trying to have sex with me, I'm cooking chicken. -MMMRRR! (giggle) MMMMRRR! I'm the big bad WHALE!!!!! REEEEEE! heheheheh Look out for the evil WHALE!!! WAAA!! MMRRR, MMRRRR, MMRRR! -Cancer doesn't hurt, duhHHh! -Maybe she's got pubes in her nose, ... I don't know... it's crazy. -It's like the pressure equalized between my ass and the room. -We have the last Jack. |
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| So here you are, and you have obviously entered the Professor's domain. A world of politics, conspiracies, music, movies and myself await you...... |
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| You can check the link above for a Professing-style breakdown of exactly why Liv Tyler is so hot. |
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| Some sweet quotes from others: -"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." Terry Pratchett.- -"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself." Peter O'Toole.- -"There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid." Denis Leary. - -"My girlfiend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'." Emo Philips. - "Women should be obscene and not heard." Groucho Marx. "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." David Dinkins, New York City Mayor.- "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." Hillary Clinton.- -"You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans." Ronald Reagan.- -"I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon." Ronald Reagan.- -"The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men." Aristotle. - -"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher." Socrates. - |
| Like Weezer? Sweet... here are some links. Use them. Be happy. Have my babies. www.Weezer.com - the official site www.WeezerEmpire.com - An awesome site, most notably for it's comprehensive audio downloads. Shitloads of songs here, buddy. www.WeezerFans.com - News, pictures, blah blah..... www.WeezerIsland.com - This one has neat little Weezer comics, fun. |
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| Ah, yes, the indy media center. Fuck CNN, seriously. You should make it habit to pay attention to the less known media sources, they aren't paid off to shut up and the like. |
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| Links!!! News, music, lots of shit - hell yeah! |
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| Ever wonder what the hell Layne Staley was singing sometimes? That lil' mumbler.... find out here |
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| Toolshed.down.net - Quite possibly the best Tool site on the internet. News, All kinds of info, tons of tabs for guitar, bass, and even shit for drums. |
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| An interesting site whether you are a believer or not, it's amazing how hard it can be for people to acknowledge simple factual concepts like evolution, for fuck's sake. |
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| Here is a great site. Man, if you want to pick at the bible, read this first. These guys give a great examination of tons of contradictions and bullshit found in the bible. I can't understand how women can take most of the sexism in the bible. |
| GEEKTANIC WEEZMACHT!! |
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| Enoonmai asked the question, 'why are nachos so fucking good?'. I took this opportunity (and boredom) to answer this question with a Professing analysis. What does make nachos so fucking good? Analyzing time! |
| Professor's Analysis of random shit |
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| Well, Enoonmai has informed me that Helen Hunt, of all women, is hot. Just to spite the little bastard, I am dedicating a page to why she's so godawful nasty. |
| --- I'm skanky! |
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| One day it hit me. Lists of top ten shit are sweet. We have been using them for a while, but I have a new objective to strive for. To explain life merely in a shitload of Top Ten Lists. To show one why, how and what life is really for and also to serve as a guide through these troubling questions. Questions like, "Hey, should I put that near my nads?" or "what else can you do with a chicken?". Well, fret not, young padowan. The page you are about to eyeball is an ever-growing guide to life. Never before have you realized how valuable the number ten can be. Not until now, that is. I take it upon myself to teach the masses (that includes you), as I have been dubbed the Professor and must honor this title. Thats right, I am a teacher of life. Bring it, bitch. |
| ... Like a brick in your fucking groin!!! |
| Send over an email!!! Want a question answered? A Professing Analysis? Then send it on over, muchacho (or muchacha)!!! Mentalgiants@hotmail.com!!! |
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| This is some kid's site about how ninjas are sweet. It's pretty fucking funny, in fact, one of the funniest things I have ever read is on this site: "Ninjas are sooo sweet that I want to crap my pants". The mere thought of this made me want to crap mine. |
| Accidentally getting drunk is definitely detrimental to my normal everyday functioning sometimes. You ever do that? Yeah, it's crazy. You start with one. Then you grab your next one. Deeply involved in some activity, like, say, updating a website, you polish of 6 and dont even know it. Then, it's 3am, you have to work at 8:30am, and you are a twelve pack deep. Damn. Waking up, feeling woozy, at 1pm is ok, until you remember you missed work. Completely. No phone call either - dammit. Oh, and class, too! Missed that. Fuck. So remember: Sometimes that beer can conspire with other beers, and they will mercilessly intoxicate you. It was the beer's fault - not mine, for shit's sake! Damn conspiring plotting Labatt's.... So don't let beer get you, too - Always INTEND to get hammered, then they can't trick you. Rock on. |
| Recently, The Tree and I sat down to watch the movie Bones with Snoop Dogg. Besides laughing at the red paint they tried to pass off for blood, cringing at the maggots a dog vomits, and agreeing that Bianca Lawson is hot, I had a thought. As odd as it seems to me, I thought this train of thought might be interesting to some of you out there that believe in heaven. -In short, here is a less traditional interpretation of what heaven could be. Fantasy, Reality, or Both? |