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Unofficial Vibe Zählen Sie Ein (Number Two)
Who are the five secret characters in SSB:M?
Well, since you asked for it...
The dog from Duck Hunt. He/she wouldn't necassarily be that much fun to play as, but man, I've wanted to kick the shit out of him ever since he first laughed at me.
Joanna Dark. Blowing Pikachu's head off with a laptop gun would give the biggest rush ever. Not to mention a tingling sensation in the groin.
Gannondarf. Think of the possibilities. Gannon vs. Bowser, Gannon vs. Link, Gannon vs. Peach (heh, heh) Gannon vs. Revomak, the list goes on and on.
Slippy. It would be undeniably cool to kick someone's ass with a frog. It would also be undeniably cool to beat Slippy with a baseball bat for every time I had to endure "Hey, what's the big idea" in StarFox64.
Hiroshi Yamauchi (or however you spell it.) His L move could be "Delay,
Mwuhuhahahahaha!!!!!!" He could then be beaten to a bloody pulp with a baseball bat, all in good taste. -Sven
Morts2005: Oh yes.
PMBorisStoke: So would Gannondarf be Pinky in a Gannondorf costume?
Survivor: Point.
Mizar66: Oh yes, I can picture it now...
Link: Skank!
Ganondarf: NARF!
First off, you know that they've gotta be putting Waluigi in this game
somewhere. My reasoning? Someone over at the Dork Forums mentioned that Waluigi is likely to only appear in party games. SSB:M = party game, last time I checked. My other evidence is the little picture of Waluigi looking at me telling me that he's going to be in the game.
The next secret character will be King DeDeDe of Kirby's Adventure fame. If Nitendo's going old school with the Ice Climbers, they might as well use another NES character. Plus, a villain that could actually be used to go up against Kirby wouldn't be totally unfeasable.
Thirdly, Ganondorf/Ganon. Nuff said.
Staring into my crystal ball of stupidity, I can see that the fourth character is going to be Sonic. What with Sega now making strictly software, and rumors of a Sonic game being released for Gamecube, I can see this one happening. Of course, he would suck major ass because there's no way in Hell that Nintendo would allow Sonic to beat Mario at all. Just like Stan Lee once said that Spider-Man ALWAYS wins whenever he fights that Hulk. So there.
And to round out this little list, I believe that the most powerful (and most difficult) secret character to obtain will be none other than...
*We interrupt this Vibe with a very pointless announcement*
"I'M NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!!!"
*Thank you. We now return you to this utterly horrible Vibe response, already in progress*
Then BLAMMO!!! Not only do you humiliate your friends and family, you also obtain the secrets of life.
And that's all...thank you and good night. -CapnSmite
Morts2005: I can see the four, but you're disqualified due to the fact that you were supposed to choose five characters, right?
PMBorisStoke: Me want Sonic in game bad. It would make up for his lousy Commie Propaghanda that interrupted his post.
Survivor: This one time, I was 3, and I was in Canada, and we were driving, and there was this porcupine on the sidewalk next to the road, so we stopped to take a look at it, and I tried to pet it. I emerged unscathed, once again proving that I can't be killed by conventional weapons.
Mizar66: Liar! There are no secrets of life! It's all a hoax!
WDIIA: What is this life you speak of?
1. The first secret character you get is "the squee". (Shut up and let
me type, Mark... I mean Mizar66). The squee is a rodent-like entity that makes a squeaky sound which resonates in it's foe's cranium until it explodes (the cranium, not the squee). At this point the pop song "You can be my squeeze toy" blasts from the gamecube speakers in full volume, except "squeeze toy" becomes "squee toy".
2. The next secret character is a St. Francis of Xavier, who has various holy moves such as the rosary whip, the stail communion bread throw, and the Excorcism.
3. The next secret character is Metal Mario. Because that would just kick ass.
4. The next secret character is the Tetris blocks! Only instead of forming lines, you drop those heavy bricks from high above to crush your opponents!
5. The final secret character, which you receive for beating the entire game on the hardest mode and never getting hit once, is........
FDASDFDSAGHEI The hell whit it. -techsquee
Morts2005: Why aren't people giving a fifth character? Lack of interest? Lack of creativeness? I say communism!
PMBorisStoke: Why are there so many communist people in the world today?
Mizar66: More importantly: Why did my brother become a communist?
WDIIA: Martain Luther would kick Saint Francis's ass any day...
This has got to be the crappest Unofficial Vibe i've ever seen! Ever!! I
spit on your secret characters *pffft*. How the hell should we know who the secret characters of SSB:M are? The vibe topic should read something like: "If you were making SSB:M, which you aren't because you're a dickhead, then what 5 secret characters would you include?"
See if i were answering my Vibe topic, the characters would be more creative than thinking up some gay Nintendo related shit. If i were answering my Vibe topic, the characters i'd choose would be:
Sonic: This is an obvious one, because it would make people happy. These happy people would buy GameCubes, then GameCube will take over the world. This is a good thing. I'm not going to explain why, because a) You should know; and b) i hate you.
Noob Saibot: He's old skool. To get him you have to press up on the d-pad and start together when that Mortal Kombat programmer sticks his head up and says, "TOAASTY!!" He'd be able to do fatalities during the middle of the fights, only on Pokemon-ish characters and Kirby.
Chibi Link: He'd be the shittest character ever to control. Only Chibi Link masters would be able to properly control Chibi Link. He would be the superior fighter, but controllerble by only Chibi masters. This would piss off a lot of people, because they'd try and use Chibi Link but find that he's so hard to use. This would also remind them of the SW2k1 Chibi fiasco and would piss them off, which would be funny. This is a good thing, because pissed of ignorant people are funny.
Vanilla Ice: Ice Ice Baby, dun dun dun da da dun dun. Ice Ice Baby, dun dun dun da da dun dun.
Bill Clinton: He'd slap you across your face with his manhood. Then he'd deny it to the Yankees. Watch out for his projectile that he aims at your eye.
Buuut, if i were to answer the proper topic then i'd ask Revomak what the answer is then i'd submit it in. -Leg Leg Arm Head XO
PMBorisStoke: ::stares at Leg Leg Arm Head XO:: Um....are you alright?
Morts2005: What the hell is Chibi Link? And since when did Bill Clinton have any manhood?
Survivor: I'd just like to point out that the Bill Clinton character strangely resembles my Tommy Lee character from the Nintendorks Survivor "Interview Someone Who Wants To Be In SSB:M" challenge...
Mizar66: Yeah, but was Tommy Lee ever a US President that told blatant lies about his private life? I thought not...
WDIIA: Define "was".
Oh, that's easy. They will be five of the seven flavors of ass, in
jellybean form! -Sniick
Survivor: God damn, you people aren't even trying!
Mizar66: Pumpernickel jellybeans? Weren't those already done in Harry Potter?
PMBorisStoke: Those were Every-Flavor Beans in Harry Potter...
Morts2005: Pumpernickel is a flavor of ass? What are the other six? I used to know this stuff, but alas...
WDIIA: I bet Travis Woodside is another one of them.
Not sure who the other four are, but one is
definitely Travis Woodside. -Mad Dog
Morts2005: Hehe, "Travis Woodside."
Survivor: Heheh, "Wood".
WDIIA: Hehehehe, "W"
PMBorisStoke: Hehehehe, that's not funny.
The five secret characters are fairly easy to predict. I think the
first of the secret characters is Bob Saget. Then the next one you unlock is The Letter N. It's a giant typed N that doesn't animate at all. It just moves around. After that, you get Screech from Saved By The Bell. This one will be my favorite character, I can sense it. The next secret will be Brandon. Yeah, I do mean from Nintendorks. Changing his outfit turns him from Brandon Dehart to Brandon Mason. The last and final secret character is the sword that goes through Bowser's Castle in Mario RPG. It has no attacks other than moving its
jaw up and down. Well, that's my prediction. -BlazeScallion
Morts2005: *Comment edited to retain my dignity*
Mizar66: And this is why Morts2005 was always two years older than everyone else in his grade.
Morts2005: Zuh? I'm always the youngest in my grade actually...
WDIIA: Silence! *Whips Morts2005*
PMBorisStoke: ::vomits::
I think we all know who the five secret characters will be. The first
will be Mr. Face. He will be a giant Mr. Face. He will hover above the court, and fire his Mr. Faceness down at all who fail to comply with anything he says, because he's always right. The second will be Aero God. He will be himself, and will attempt to screw the goat. The third character will be the goat. The only purpose of the goat is to escape Aero God. The fourth will be Ganon. He will use his supervillian fart to destroy all who oppose him. And the fifth will be Pichu or something else that's disgustingly cute. -BNLbum
Survivor: I like the Mr. Face thing, you should have ran with that funnyness. But alas, you did not. So try harder next time.
PMBorisStoke: ::sigh:: That's what this site is missing...Mr. Face. Alas, using him would be too much like we're copying things. You've made me depressed, Bum. You're the Communist of the day.
Morts2005: *cough*Mr. Face vs. Mr. Pants*cough*
WDIIA: You alright Morts?
I know you did not want short answers, but at this moment I'm far too
tired to me creative.
1. Bob Saget - Who Else?
2. Fred Savage - Not ben, ben sucks
3. Winston Churchill - Whats not to love about him?
4. Justin Timberlake - He's a Hottie Fox!
5. Garfield. the most unfunny answer I could think of! -ZeoGold
PMBorisStoke: You diss Garfield and add Justin Timberlake?! Someone dispose of this fiend!
Odie: Bark!
Morts2005: *Pants*
Garfield: ::kicks Odie::
Pooky: . . .
5. Kid Icarus- Sorry for being logical (and starting off on the wrong
foot) but I loOove Kid Icarus and he's a major charcter.
4. Orchid- Just like Killer Instinct. One of her secret moves is the getinng naked option. Just like in the SNES version except she gets completely naked, you can keep her naked the whole game, and the Smash Bros pause camera (It's perverted enough already with the naked Samus thing)
3. Luigis Penis- Yep instead of using Luigi they decided to use his bi-penis. You control this Penis just like the Ice climbers. The Bi-Penis has a much different effect to Orchid than all the other Characters if you get my drift...
2. Gamecube gamer- Yep there's the undeniabely cool attack where the other characters are stunned the lunchbox pound and the psychic power to control the other character for a short time. Also has the huge penis attack. Indeed one of the coolest characters in the game.
1. XBox gamer- Extremel weak and is barely worth shit except for one move the Xbox drop an Xbox falls out of the sky automatically killing the other player. -Cap'n Nintendo
PMBorisStoke: ::pokes Cap'n Nintendo with a stick:: Stop sending in your dreams sammit!
Survivor: The idea for the gamecube gamer's psychic control attack is genius. But the rest isn't on par...
Morts2005: What he said.
WDIIA: Amen!
The first character is Brandon DeHart. He uses his knowledge as an
english major to make everyone else look like an ass. His stage: IN A STEEL CAGE!!!
The next character is Natalie Imbruglia. She stuns her opponents by causing them to ogle her. Her stage: Inside the male mind.
The next two come as a pair (much like the Ice Climbers, or the Mario Bros.) They are: Jay and Silent Bob. Jay uses his ability to talk nonstop, while Silent Bob doesn't speak, and relies on facial expressions. Their stage: The streets of New Jersey.
And finally, the fifth secret character is Richard Simmons. He gets out some oldies and makes everyone exercise until they collapse in a pool of their own bodily fluids. His stage: A gay dance bar. -hylien007
PMBorisStoke: Those sound like characters Titus would put in a fighting game....except for the first one and its incredible stage.
Mizar66: Jay and Silent Bob? That brings back terrible memories of last night. GUIDE TO LIFE, RULE #1: Never watch Dogma with your mom.
Morts2005: Hylien007, you are truly a king among men.
Survivor: Snoogins.
WDIIA: If Jay and Silent Bob are like the Ice Climbers, I only count four... *Head explodes*
I feel obliged to send in a vibe. . .
Character One: Ropeman! He's not aboot a rope and he's not aboot a man, so I shall call him ropeman! Nintendo may call him something else like Deken Hinsario, but I'll call him ropeman, because he's sort of like a rope, and sort of like a man.
Character Two: Poop. Ever wonder what happens when you flush the toilet? Why it goes to nintendo headquarters of course! But what will they do with all of this fecal matter you may ask aboot. Well, as recent as a year ago, top nintendo officials didn't know the answer either. But then they realized that they could ship a small amount of it with each copy of SSB. It's not playable in the sense that you control it, but you can fling it at the screen to use as a visual distraction and it even doubles as a gametime snack!
Character Three: Marilyn Monroe. She's dead, but she's hot.
Character Four: Jigglysmurfingpuff. I demand jigglypuff in this game as she is my character. However, in order to make her less laughable, she will be renamed Jigglysmurfingpuff and made more menacing looking.
Character Five: Dubyario! -Revomak
PMBorisStoke: Been drinking tonight have you? Let me take a look at your eyes.
Morts2005: No! Not Dubyario! Survivor-game stealing bastard!
Mizar66: Marylin Monroe HOT? What decade are you from, anyway?
And now, I am proud to announce, the winner of the SECOND Vibe Loonie!
Bellow are the five characters I think should be secret characters in
SSB:M. And if they're not owned by Nintendo, then they damn well should be. And now, in order of strength: (the star rating is how powerful they are- * is wussy and ***** is total bad-ass.)
1. Gumby(***): Come on, how could we not have Gumby? He can recover quickly from hits, due to the fact that he's made of clay. He's not very strong, but he has wicked specials, like calling Pokey to flatten himself on enemies, and morphing into giant clay demons. Gumby would be very quick, too.
2. Mr. T(***): I expect you saw this one coming, didn't you? Well, anyway, T would taunt his enemies in the usual way ("I pity da foo who buys X-box!"). His specials would be to get his van and run over enemies, throw a carton of milk, and call the other members of the A-Team to beat the shit out of oponents. You know, come down in choppers with machine guns and such. Although Mr. T's punches knock enemies clear off the screen, he's slow. But can take lots of punishment.
3. The Duck Hunt Ducks(****): Mostly inspired by good old Ferquin, these ducks would not seem powerful at first, but can really torment enemies. There'd be two of them. One would come down like a fist to punch, and for throws they'd grab enemies and toss 'em. They have the most bad-ass special in the game. As light-gun fire erupts across the screen, enemies run madly past each other to escape the deadly bolts. While dashing around the screen, they fail to even notice the Dog of Satan as he slowly rises from the backround, jumps into the air, and grabs one of your oponents, taking him/her down with it to where it
came from, killing them instantly. The ducks are fast, though physically weaker than others.
4. The Jaquio(*****): Anyone ever play Ninja Gaiden? This guy is the main boss, and a real bad-ass. He's fast (since he flies), has great defence, spectacular offence, and wields the Dark Sword of Chaos. And he shoots fireballs. Though he lacks powerful specials, he can really clean up if used properly. So, if you're fighting him, I have but this to say: Run, bitch.
5. Bun-Bun(******): Yes, six stars. If you've ever read the iternet comic Sluggy Freelance, you're probably familiar with the homicidal minni-lop rabbit. He's a match for even the Jaquio, folks, and he recovers from just about everything. He's quick, and wields a variety of weapons, including a battle axe and a handgun. Of course, his trusty switchblade always prevails. As a special, he can call in the free-lance inventor Riff to loose demons on opponents, or perhaps zap them to the Dimension of Pain. Bun-Bun is truely a force to be reckoned with, and the same advice for the Jaquio applies here. -Amazing CAP
Morts2005: That'd be cool if the Duck Hunt Ducks attacked in a pair like the Ice Climbers. Gumby and Mr. T are a given.
Survivor: So far this is the best one. The only thing that would make it better would be if I knew who Jaquio and Bun-Bun were, but that's not his fault ~pets CAP~
Mizar66: I pity da foo' who don't know who Bun-Bun is! Yes, I'm just full of self-pity.
PMBorisStoke: Finally, someone uncommunstic sent in a vibe. I never thought I'd see the day...
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