Lesson 35

Every family on earth has been ordained by God to rule this earth on His behalf (Genesis 1:26-28).
After the fall of man, man lost his ruling authority to the devil (2 Corinthians 4:4).
However, in Christ Jesus, this authority has been restore to man (Matthew 16:19).
In this way, a godly family can extend God's kingdom on this earth in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ (Matthew 6:10; 28:18-20).

However, within any family, the ability to fulfill God's dominion mandate is equally dependent on both the husband and the wife.
If the husband does not lead the wife and family in God's way, the family will be aimless and fruitless.
If the wife does not support her husband, the purposes of God through that family are hindered.
Although God gives His purposes for each family to the man as head, it is the wife who determines whether or not the family is able to reach its full potential in God.

The qualities of the wife are thus critical to the plans of God for any family.
She can either help her husband fulfill God's destiny for her family or she can obstruct God's calling upon her family.
A woman who helps her husband fulfill God's plans through their family is called a NOBLE WIFE.
She is worth far more than rubies (Proverbs 31:10).
No matter how godly a man is, the level of his success in glorifying God in his family is dependent on the support he receives from his wife.
Thus the saying is true that "behind the success of every godly married man is a noble wife."

A wife on noble character who can find?
     She is worth far more than rubies.                                        (Proverbs 31:10)

The qualities of a noble woman can be summed up as follows:

A wife of noble character who can find?
     She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
     and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm
     all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax
     and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
     bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
     she provides food for her family
     and portions for her servant girls.

She considers a field and buys it;
     out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
     her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable.
     and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds her distaff
     and grasp the spindle with her fingers.

She opens her arms to the door
     and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
     for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes covering for her bed;
     she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Her husband is respected at the city gate,
     where he takes his seats among the elders of the land.
She makes line garments and sells them,
     and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity:
     she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,
     and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
     [and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue, RSV].
She watches over the affairs of her household
     and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
     her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things
     but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting,
     but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
     and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.    
                                                                                                        (Proverbs 31:10-31)

A person who fears the Lord is one who obeys the Lord in everything.
The "fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" (Proverbs 9:10).
Thus a wife who fears the Lord is always wise in all her ways.

The fear of the Lord is the most basic and essential quality of a noble wife.
If she does not fear the Lord, she will never fulfill God's purposes for her life, no matter how charming or educated or pretty she is.
She will instead bring misery and disaster to her husband and the family.

To fear God is to please God, and not ourselves in every area of our life.
A wife who fears the Lord will seek to obey God's divine order for the family.
She will support and encourage the leadership of her husband.
She will help and not hinder her husband's obedience to the Holy Spirit.
She will help him to look after the children and household.

A wife who fears the lord will put God's kingdom FIRST before personal considerations and rights.
She will not put personal desires, personal plans, personal convenience and personal luxuries above the priorities of God.
She will willingly die to her own desires as she follows her husband in serving the Lord sacrificially.

She dies to her own self and live for God's plans for her family and her own life.
She lives to extend God's kingdom and not to live for herself (Luke 9:23-24).

Then He said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he shall deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."                                                                                                 (Luke 9:23-24)

A noble wife will thus daily die to herself and ask herself:
"What does God want me to do in this situation, in order that I may please Him and not myself?"
"Am I supporting or opposing my husband in her desire to honor God in this issue?"
"Am I grieving the Holy Spirit by my attitude toward this family issue?"
If she fears the Lord, she will always submit herself to the perfect will of God.

When God created Adam in the Garden of Eden, He declared that "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18).
Thus we see that God's purpose in giving a wife to Adam was that Adam might receive God's goodness through his wife.
The man who is thus blessed with a good wife will therefore be able to fulfill God's purposes for the earth through his obedience to God.

The first duty of a married woman is therefore to bring good to her husband.
She is to "bring him good, hot harm, all the days of her life" (Proverbs 31:12).
She is there to pray for him, to support him, to encourage him and to help him fulfill God's destiny for his life and family.

Since the woman and man are one, they do not have separate destines as far as their married lives are concerned (Matthew 19:5-6).
The success of the husband and family is also the success of the wife.
When the wife does good to her husband, she is doing good to herself.
She is indirectly fulfilling God's divine plan for this earth when she helps her mate.
She must realize that the success of her ministry to the Lord is inseparably linked to the success of her husband's ministry.

In fact, a noble wife will be able to support her husband to such an extend that "her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land" (Proverbs 31:23).
The city gate is the place of authority and power of the city, where decisions for the city are made by the city elders (E.g. Ruth 4:1-12).
Because of the high position of her husband in the affairs of man, she herself receive praise from everyone (Proverbs 31:28).
For it will be obvious to everyone that it is her works that have brought about the success of her husband (Proverbs 31:31).

However, if a wife brings harm to her husband, she has strayed from God's calling upon her life.
She must therefore not discourage, condemn, ridicule or oppose her husband as he seeks to obey God.
Otherwise, she destroys not only her husband's ministry, but also her own.

No wife can claim to have achieved a successful ministry when she denigrates, puts down and oppose her husband's ministry.
In effect, she is opposing herself and destroying herself.
She will lose the respect of all when others see that she has stopped her husband in fulfilling God's call upon his life.

God commands both men and women, husband and wives, to work.
They are to work six days a week and rest one day in seven (Exodus 20:9-10).
As they work, they are to work diligently (Proverbs 14:23; 31:13-19).

The noble wife is diligent in her business affairs (Proverbs).
She also watches over the affairs of her household (Proverbs 31:27).
She will not be idle or lazy (Proverbs 31:27).

She will work hard to provide food for herself, her own family, her servants and the needy (Proverbs 31:15, 20-22).
She does this out of her own income or her husband's income or both.
Through hard work, she can have an abundance to support the ministry of her husband and do the works of God (2 Corinthians 9:6-9).

It is God's desire to bring the wealth of the wicked into the hands of his people.
However, God can only do that when His people are righteous and diligent in their work (Proverbs 13:22; 28:8).
And God will channel his riches through both the husband and wife when both are righteous and hard-working.

On the other hand, a lazy or idle wife will bring disaster to her husband.
She will nullify God's purposes for her family and destroy her husband's ministry to the Lord (Proverbs 18:9).
The family will not be provided for and the household will be in disarray.
No husband can ever hope to serve God fully or wholeheartedly when his household is upside down because the wife is not doing her work.

One who is slack in his work
     is brother to one who destroys.                                              (Proverbs 18:9)

All hard work brings a profit,
     out mere talk leads only to poverty.                                     (Proverbs 14:23)

God desires every man and woman to be kind to the poor (Proverbs 14:21, 31).
A noble wife will also be kind to the needy (Proverbs 31:20).

He who despises his neighbor sins,
     but blessed is he who is kind to the needy.                       (Proverbs 14:21)

He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker,
     but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.                 (Proverbs 14:31)

She opens her arms to the poor
     and extends her hands to the needy.                                  (Proverbs 31:20)

Every godly man and woman must know that when we help the needy, we are doing it to the Lord (Proverbs 19:17).
And as we help others, we will reap what we sow (Proverbs 11:24).
God will cause others to help us  and our children in return in our time of need.

One man gives freely, yet gains even more;
     another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.            (Proverbs 11:24)

He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD,
     and He will reward him for what he has done.                   (Proverbs 19:17)

A wife must therefore not hinder her husband when he seeks to obey God and help those who are in need.
In fact, she must joyfully help her husband meet the needs of the needy.
In this way, God's name is honored and His kingdom is extended through our ministry, directly or indirectly.

E.g. Giving generously to help the poor and destitute, in terms of food and clothes and shelter.
E.g. Providing hospitality for the brethren (1 Peter 4:9).
E.g. Providing food and shelter for the poor and needy in our own home, until a proper shelter can be arranged for them.
E.g. Providing a meeting place for needy churches, your own church or other churches, in our homes (1 Corinthians 16:19; Colossians 4:15l Philemon 1-2).

Of course, it will mean a lot of sacrifice and inconveniences to the husband, wife and children.
But honoring God will always require us to die to self and live for Christ.
And we must honor God when God leads us to help the needy today.
To delay or to deny help when we can do so is to sin and grieve the Spirit of God.

Helping the needy brethren is an expression of our love for them.
If we do not help them when they are in real need, then our faith is dead and we have become hypocrites (James 2:14-17).
All our long prayers and religious talk about love, anointing,  commitment, etc., will be in vain if we do not help our brethren in their time of need.
Talk is cheap; love in action is costly.
A noble woman is one who dies to self daily to help the needy brethren.

The word of God brings wisdom into our lives (Proverbs 1:1-2; 2:1-2; 3:1-18; 4:1-9).
A noble wife is one who speaks with WISDOM (Proverbs 31:26).

She speaks with wisdom,
     and faithful instruction is one her tongue.
     [and the teaching of kindness in on her tongue, RSV].  (Proverbs 31:26)

In other words, she speaks the wisdom of God to bless her husband, her children  and others around her.
She does not speak the words of the worldly, the carnal, or the ungodly.
She speaks words of grace to build up others, especially her husband (Ephesians 4:29).

And a noble woman will speak with KINDNESS (Proverbs 31:26 RSV).
She will not be HARSH or RUDE or SARCASTIC or CRITICAL or VIOLENT with her words to her husband or to others, even when she is right.
Her words brings healing and not death (Proverbs 12:18; 15:4; 16:24; 18:21).

A noble wife is one who has no fear of tomorrow (Proverbs 31:21).
Instead, she can laugh at the days to come (Proverbs 31:25).

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
     she can laugh at the days to come.                                      (Proverbs 31:25)

This is because she is a woman who has learn to trust God for the future.
She is a woman who prays and who believes that God has answered all her prayers.
She believes that God will indeed work at all things for the good of His people, including her family (Romans 8:32).
Because of that, she is able to rejoice under all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
She knows that nothing in the days to come can separate her from the love of God in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:35-39).

Such a woman of faith will no longer grumble or complain during times of trial.
Neither will she nag her husband, or pester and torture him with incessant requests for things that she wants.
She knows that God will always provide for her sooner or later as she seeks first  the kingdom of God and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33 NKJ).

She knows that all her prayers for her husband, her household, her children, her work, her ministry and her own self are being answered by God.
She knows that through her prayers of faith, God will use her husband, herself and her family to glorify His name.
She has no self-pity or insecurity, demanding to be recognized or to be famous out in front.
She is perfectly secure in her calling to be a noble wife.
She knows that she shares fully in the respect that men gives to her husband as he serves God successfully (Proverbs 31:23, 31).

Such a woman laughs today and tomorrow, at all times (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
And her laughter never ends.
What a pleasure it will be for a husband to come home to a noble wife like that.

Your thought

1. If you are a wife, ask yourself whether you are actively seeking to be a noble wife as she is defined in Proverbs 31:10-31?
   Where are you still falling sort of this ideal wife? Why?
   What steps would you take to achieve the qualities of a noble wife?
   

2. If you are a husband, what would you do to bring your wife from her present position to that of a noble wife (if she is not one yet)?
   

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