Lee Marshall, STC
Provo, Utah
Do you know...
That one out of every
five people have some form of STD?
Your Stories & Comments
*Annonymous Submission*
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A New Book by Lee Marshall with Samantha McShane, M.A.
Can an extramarital affair
complement a marriage, ease the transition
to a "good" divorce, or be beneficial
to the family and society? Are affairs always
wrong for the individual and destructive
to the marriage?
Shere Hite, in her study "Women and Love, The New Hite Report"
reported "70 percent of women married more than five years are having
sex outside of marriage--although almost all believe in monogamy (p. 360).
Other studies report fewer to almost comparable figures. But are such
numbers important? They may be to some writers, sociologists, or others
who use them as evidence showing the impending demise of marriage, but not
here and not for my purpose. These numbers realistically mean very little
to one seeking or contemplating an affair. Other questions are much more
important than "How many others are doing what I want to do?"
Affairs have their allure. It is a common, resolute, fact of all societies
and cultures worldwide. Abuse, neglect, loneliness and lack of sexual satisfaction
rank high among the reasons. Variety, emotional closeness, physical attraction,
freedom from a confining marriage and a sense of adventure and intrigue
add to the list.
One woman wrote of her affair: "I was happier, more sexually satisfied.
I no longer had to wait for my husband to pay attention to me. I felt
more independent and less confined. And I knew passion for the first time
in my life! I was exhilerated-- by life-- and excited about everything!
The world had greater meaning and color to it!" The woman was a 44
year old professional, married 21 years. The affair improved her marriage
(Third Option Website, 1999).
Another woman also refers to a change "in color". She writes:
"For me personally, my love affair has brought me back to life again.
After enduring years of loneliness and isolation in a marriage to a much
older man who gradually became distant, self-absorbed, non-communicative,
and impotent. [Because of my affair] I now feel greatly valued, sought after
and loved in a special way...it is as if the landscape around me, which
was flat and colorless for so long, has suddenly sprung into Technicolor
and PanaVision...my whole sense of 'self' and my awareness of my individuality
has been illuminated and defined...something in me that I never knew existed
has suddenly mounted up on wings. I am forever changed by it." (TOW,
1999) (CONTINUED)
A few Sample Questions:
Did
marital therapy change the sexual attraction you had for your husband?
When
you make love with your husband do you fantasize he is someone else?
Did
you and your husband undergo marital therapy? What happened? How would you
grade the effectiveness?
Describe
an ideal affair.
Did
you reach a point in your marriage where you had sex with your husband simply
because he was the only partner available?
Women
has tummy tucks and breast enlargements to feel good about themselves. For
some women could the affair be a more readily available means to the same
end?
Do women
who work in occupations where they deal closer with real life, such as nurses,
cops, or soldiers, have a more objective outlook on affairs than the housewife
whose major daily concern is getting the children to school on time or having
dinner on the table at five o'clock? What are your thoughts?
Has
religious belief had a detrimental effect on your marriage? Has your partner's
beliefs increased your dissatisfaction or isolation?
Personal Statement. |
| I have no great concern with the issue of morality. A
lengthy discussion into this topic would be redundant and useless for affairs
would exist whether the morality label is assigned or ignored. My concern
lies with the influence and effects on the individual and their relationships
with their lover and marriage. |
Nice
Girls: All Women Naughty
Girls: Women & affairs.
This website is for all women.
If you have an opinion and can express it in a responsible, intelligent manor a webpage
will be dedicated to it.
Your
Private Place
**Anonymous Submission**
FAQ: You write about affairs, would you have
one or have you ever had one? |
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