White Jade Design Int'l

On or about January, 2002, the Wedding Gazette, a leading netzine, requested an article on Chinese wedding traditions for a special February edition of the magazine. Their publication of this article is available at http://www.weddinggazette.com/content/002409.shtml. Here is the original version.

Ten Ways To Have A Chinese Wedding

1.RED NOT WHITE.

In nearly all East Asian countries, but especially China, red is the color of happiness. It is especially the wedding and bridal color. White, by contrast, is for FUNERALS, so a Chinese wedding must include red and ceremonial objects such as candles, attire, and other ritual implements must mandatorially exclude white. The biggest taboo at a Chinese wedding: red text on white. Red ink on white is considered a death threat. Note that while often frowned on, white roses are fine in the bridal bouquet, as long it is held together with colored ribbons. White mums are another story-they do have a funerary significance so if you want white flowers, roses are your safest bet. The best white roses are fire & ice and other roses that are not pure white. Most lilies will also work, as long as you avoid solid white varieties.

2.WEAR TRADITIONAL ATTIRE.

Chinese traditional attire is more varied than you think. China has more than 150 different cultures and ethnic groups that have lived together for nearly 20,000 years with few ethnic-based conflicts. That said, there is a lot more choice than you think. Certain businesses like White Jade Design specialize in Chinese traditional clothing and Folkwear makes patterns for the two best known forms. The dominant styles are the Qi Pau (AKA Chinese Jacket) and the Cheongsam. The Qi Pau is the "traditional" style of the Manchu people who uniquely held two dynasties: Jin and Qing, which was the last one. While the Qi Pau is millennia old, the Hong Kong Cheongsam was developed during the 1920s under British colonial rule of Hong Kong, known as Xiang Gang in standard Chinese. Cheongsams are easily recognized; they are very slim and usually have two side slits for walking. For men, the style is called a Da Gua and these will front closing tunics that are usually either hip or knee length. They are typically of similar fabric to the bride.

3.CHINESE BROCADES.

China is the first country to wear brocades, which is a method of weaving a pattern into a fabric instead of printing or embroidering it in. Most Chinese brocades are extremely colorful. Brides and grooms wear dragon, phoenix, or dragon and phoenix brocades with a red background. During a wedding, these particular designs are typically limited to bride and groom-the rest of the bridal party wears more solid red or wears a brocade with a different background color. And of course all Chinese wedding attire is made of silk. Formerly hard to find, Chinese brocades have become extremely popular recently and most major fabric chains will carry at least one or two now with the best selection always being in major cities with large Chinese populations.

4.ALTAR TO THE ANCESTORS.

If Chinese have respect for nothing else, it's for the elders in their families. Mistakenly thought of as ancestor worship, remembering departed ancestors is nonetheless a very important part of Chinese traditions. If you want white mums in the wedding, this is the way to include them. Set aside a table or altar with flowers dedicated to the ancestors. Fruits, a glass of offertory wine, and burning incense are also usually included. A beautiful Chinese alternative to a unity candle is to set up two small altars, one for each side of the family and for the groom to kneel at his and the bride at hers after the processional and before the vows for a moment of reflective prayer. When the vows have been set, join the two altars together to represent the new union and have the immediate family members kneel with the bride and groom at the joined altar-a symbol of unity and joining of families. What a beautiful way to include everyone. Remember that for Chinese, marriage is more about the families joined than the couple themselves.

5. TEA CEREMONY.

This is one where China, Korea, and Japan all unite. Held immediately after the ceremony and before the reception in a small side room for most Chinese, the Chinese tea ceremony is more simple than its Korean and Japanese counterparts. The couple's parents and grandparents are seated. The couple then serves tea from a traditional porcelain set, often with dragons, flowers, or double happiness design, to the family, starting with the bride's mother, then her father, then her grandmother and grandfather. The groom's elders are then served in the same order. The type of tea is pretty much at the discretion of personal taste, though black dragon, orange blossom, and classic green tea are the preferred choices.

6. DOUBLE HAPPINESS/SHUANG XI.

This is the wedding character and few can miss this very special symbol which Chinese put on EVERYTHING. The character is gold on a red background and you can find cutouts, scarves, and just about anything you want to decorate your wedding with featuring this important symbol, called double happiness because it is the character xi (joy) put side by side together and compressed as a single character-just as the bride and groom are joined. Manhattan, Chicago, San Francisco, and other major Chinatowns have these in abundance and stores located in these areas are increasingly joining the internet as well. In Manhattan I found plenty of shuangxi at Pearl River, a shop located steps from the yellow line subway station at Broadway and Canal. The third floor of this store is a shopper's dream for its party supplies and dinnerware.

7. DRAGONS AND PHOENIXS.

Heard the phrase "queen for a day?" Well, Chinese probably invented the idea of bride and groom being empress and emperor for the day. Rooted in ancient "mythology" about dragon teachers giving humanity Enlightenment and about the Phoenix whose song saved Earth from a terrible end, the dragon came to symbolize the Emperor and at his side, the magically powerful Phoenix with her life giving song. The bride is known as the Phoenix and the groom is the Dragon on their day. The traditional headpiece for the bride, hard to find in the US, is called the Phoenix Crown or Fengguan-which is my name! Besides in the brocades you wear, you can integrate these symbols in just about every way imaginable. The phoenix is a flaming crested bird with a long tail. Chinese depict dragons as wingless males, though items with female (winged) dragons will work just as nicely as you add this classic symbol to your wedding.

8. SIGNATURE CLOTHE.

The Chinese traditional guest book isn't made of paper, but silk! Usually a medium to lightweight silk square, often embroidered around the edges, and always red, guests take a black pen and sign their names. Later, the cloth is carefully folded and stored as a special memento of the wedding. If you really want to be authentic: use a brush pen and ink. Most Chinese gift shops will carry these cloths ready to use for the wedding, often featuring dragon and phoenixes and/or double happiness already on it.

9. CHINESE MUSIC.

Why not include Chinese traditional instruments in your ceremony music? Odds are you'll be using CDs, but the effect will be stunning and unmistakably Chinese. In addition to Chinese traditional songs, the soundtrack to The Last Emperor is thick with stunning performances featuring both the Er Hu and the Chang Di. Zithers are also traditional. For the reception, Chinese pop is all the rave. Jackie Chan/Cheng Long, Liu De Hua/Andy Lau, Wan Fan, and other superstars will kick up the dance floor with Chinese flair. Chinese always dance at weddings, so be sure to have one. In addition, a lot of American music has been translated to Chinese, including "My Heart Will Go On" which sounds impressive in standard Chinese.

10. FIRECRACKERS-NOT RICE.

Whoever came up with the idea of throwing rice on the bride and groom were not Chinese! Chinese show prosperity through the huge wedding feast-not rice, which is a Japanese tradition. Instead, Chinese have to scare away the evil spirits who might cause problems with them later. This is the original function for firecrackers and Chinese use them at most holidays. During the recessional and before they cross the threshold, long chains of firecrackers suspended on a stick are lit for several minutes. In evening weddings, full-scale firework displays are part of the festivities-as long as some of them make lots of noise. With recent air pollution laws in effect, most couples in China have to play a tape of firecrackers going off, so if your area doesn't allow a traditional fireworks display, simulate it with a tape and by playing small to medium sized cymbals for the recessional.