I parked by a meter and headed toward the beach about 20 minutes ago. As I walked over the board walk I could hear the waves crashing into shore though I couldn't see them for the dunes in front of me. As I came over the rise, I cried. It's been a while since I have been to the east coast. I always feel the same here though, I always feel at home. To me it is like I have been out at war - for centuries, and even thought the war is still raging, I've come home, if even for just a while.
The smell of the sea and the wind ruffling my hair is exaustingly breathtaking as I sit in a swing by the shore (which took a while to find I might add) There arn't that many people here. A couple of young blonde boys playing in the surf with what appears to be their mother and maybe a sister watching from a beachtowel nearby.
I could get lost here...in my own solitude, if only I could leave my overwhelming life behind with all its psychobabble, to make my home among the waves.
I just left Savannah, my southern eden, and some wonderful friends. I'm kinda sad I guess, to be leaving, but more enlightened by my stay and the time I got so spend there. Hopefully I'll be ready to tackle the world tomorrow, or the tight-end whichever comes first. *giggle*
It was so special to me to see an elderly couple walking slowly across the beach. as I spoke to them I learned that they werefrom my home state - from Johnson City, Tennessee. They had come to Savannah for the funeral of their only son, linden I think she said his name was. She told me this was the first time they'd ever left Tennessee, save Virginia, which is only a few miles from their home.
Consequesntly, it was the first time they'd ever seen the ocean. Their tears flowed thicker than mine, thugh for different reasons I'm sure. Maybe partly because of the loss of their son, but most definitly because of the sight before them, one they'd never envisioned except in their dreams as she put it.
It was a feeling I envied - as if they had finally accomplished something magnificent. While saying goodbye to their last magnificent accomplishment they balanced t with their life long dream to see the ocean. I cried again, for them as they walked away.
The last time I saw these waters was from Murtle Beach - with Ryan and his brother. We played on a beach like this one with his mom watching from a beachtowel just like the other bois. I'll always remember the time we shared that weekend. Even after Ryan died, I've never forgotten the feelings.
It's things like that that make me continue - or maybe the longing for them to happen all over again. I'm leaving part of myself in savannah, by the shore. Someday I'll come back and revisit it, and again, leave it here, like I have some many times and some many other places before.
You know - I have no idea what I am looking for out of life, but I fear that when I do find it that I will loose it just as quickly. But I will continue the search with the knowledge that with each day things change. I just can;t let them change me.
My legs are getting goosebumps. It is getting cooler with a storm coming onto the coast, tropical storm athena if I remember correctly. So I am going to flee before I have to meet athena and |
